The Amazing Race 13, Episode 1

Bees Are Much Calmer Than All This!

By Reagen Sulewski

October 1, 2008

Can you read? Me neither. This could be a problem.

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After turning in their carts, they're sent off to a Brazilian military base, which will be their stop for the night (but not a pitstop) and they'll have to claim a time for their departure the next morning. Five of the teams are through this part, but Kelly and Christy have not even started their Detour yet, with the second flight just now arriving.

The second group ends up being not that eventful, other than Andrew and Dan proing their credentials as frat boys by not quite getting that the truck part of their cart goes in the front, to drive it. They do avoid being caught in the last departing group the next morning, though.

The teams spend the night at the military base in a little bit of a get to know you better situation, although this pisses off a couple of teammates, specifically the faux-hawked one, Terrence, as Sarah spends a lot of time talking to other teams, making friends and building alliances and strategy. How dare she! He just wants to be held! No, really. Man card, please. Starr is eyeing up Dallas as the only real available manflesh on the show, unless she wants to go the Angelina Jolie route. Oh, you know they've thought about it.

The next morning, the teams head off in search of Pelourinho, a plaza in the middle of Salvador. It's all about the race for taxis, but the other half of Terrence and Sarah proves to be just as pathetic and needy, as Sarah gets angry at Nick and Starr for not acknowledging their small talk, taking it as a snub. But, at least be sure they knew you were talking to them before declaring war, okay? Later, we get to add another thing to the list of things that Sarah is not allowed to do, as running faster than Terrence (the running instructor!) is on it along with talking to strangers and speaking foreign languages. This is such a healthy relationship.

Bitching apparently makes them faster, though, and they get to the plaza first, finding the Detour clue. It offers them a choice of climbing a set of stairs on their hands and knees, where they'll be asked a question at the top by a traditional drummer (Hmm...I wonder what that question might be...). The other option has them climb down a 240-foot cargo net.

Most teams choose the cargo net, which seems like the smarter choice, or at least the most fun (which seems to overlap a lot on this show). It's actually pretty simple once you find your way to the top with the right elevator, but Terrence and Sarah let their anger towards Nick and Starr guide them, and fall from first to fourth. Once the Wonder Twins hit the ground, they're directed to the first Pit Stop of the race, located on a fort on the water.


This ends up being quite close by, and Ken and Tina's Passive-Aggressive Adventure screw up a little by trying to take a taxi. Nick and Starr cruise to a victory in the first leg, winning a trip to Belize as a result. Ken and Tina are team number two.

Back to the net, we learn one more thing that Sarah's not allowed to do: talk while climbing.
After eight teams go for the cargo net, Andrew and Dan go for the stairs, worried about the potential logjam. The stairs prove to be pretty quick, but they seem to have not thought at all about the obvious question that would be waiting for them at the top. Seriously, if it took you more than five seconds to figure out that they should have been counting the stairs as they went up, give yourself a smack. They flub this, apparently thinking they were going to be asked their favorite color. They're sent back down for another try, thus shedding all their advantage.

Terrence and Sarah wind up in third, followed by Mark and Bill, who they pass on the net after the latter two stop to take a rest. All those video games don't seem like such a great idea now, do they?

Kelly and Christie come in for fifth, followed by Toni and Dallas in sixth. Now we're getting down to brass tacks. Do Anita and Arthur have a second gear? Will Marissa and Brooke find someone to take them to the Pit Stop? Can Andrew and Dan count? The answers appear to be "no", "no", and "yes", surprisingly. The frat boys manage to sneak ahead of Aja and Ty for seventh, with the latter team showing a distressing pokiness.

Anthony and Stephanie (it's not fair they get to start racing halfway through the leg... wait, you're telling me they were there all along?) come in for ninth, with the southern belles in for tenth. The producers don't even try and introduce any drama for the first elimination. That's how slow Anita and Arthur are. The sad thing is that according to Anita, this is what happens when they give it their all.

BOP is doing a link exchange with our good friends at Buddy TV this season. For more The Amazing Race info, visit their site.

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