New at BOP: Review: Matrix Resurrections Movie Review: Moonfall Movie Reviews: Scream The #1 Movie in America November Forecast The Many Saints of Newark October Forecast New Trivia Question All site updates Share & Save   Tweet Print this column

In fact, Michael doesn’t even wait to see what the next item is before bidding on it. This is how Nicolas Cage was before his tax problems. Malcolm squawks with laughter. Anyway, for the princely sum of $500 he gets a wine and cheese plate. And he’s not a drinker! Probst offers to drink the wine for Michael, but Michael takes it anyway. No sharing, Probst! Those are the rules!

The next item is donuts and iced coffee. The bidding is between Malcolm and Jonathan, and soon over when Malcolm bids $200.

Now we reach the “blind item” section of the auction. Awesome. But before that, Probst points out that neither Abi or Lisa have made a move for anything yet. “I know I’m going home next, so I’ll be eating soon,” says Abi. “You’re just going to keep that money,” says Probst disbelievingly. Anyway, Jonathan wins the bidding this time and for his trouble he gets fried chicken. With fries and ketchup. Jonathan takes a bite and has one of those Ratatouille moments. Also, Jonathan is looking really thin now. I know he packed on a few preparation pounds before coming out this time, but it’s more than all gone. I wonder how much he’ll gain back once he has access to unlimited fried chicken.

Another blind item. Malcolm and Carter bid, and Carter wins with $200. It turns out to be a baked potato – or as Probst says “baked potateh”. He can’t get enough of saying “baked potateh”. Probst explains that the baked potateh comes with a twist – Carter can keep the baked potateh or he can give up the baked potateh in exchange for rice and beans for the whole tribe. After tentatively weighing the bag, Carter makes the only choice he can – to get the beans and rice. Lots of cheering from the others. “Carter’s the man,” hoots Jonathan from his fried chicken.

The action on the next blind item is between Lisa and Carter. Lisa, somewhat cruelly, bids $320 which is more than Carter has. For shame, Lisa! Dude just bought you beans and rice! And you’re always talking about how “this game is too big for me." Lisa consoles the others with an “It’s probably sea cucumber," but enormous sandwiches are her reward, and Lisa’s eyes and arms and mouth all go as wide as they can. She doesn’t suffer any emotional crisis while eating them either.

The next item will give an advantage... sold to Abi for 500 clams! Probst hands a piece of bamboo with a scroll inside and tells her to read it when she is back at camp. “There is no compassion towards me here. I have to show compassion towards myself,” she whines, ignoring that we have seen Malcolm show her compassion. But this is all about Abi being the victim.

The next item is sold to Carter for $200. It turns out to be veal shanks, and once again Carter has to take one for the team and share his reward with the entire tribe. They have 60 seconds and no utensils to chow down as much veal as they can. “Thank you Carter again, Carter rules!” Jonathan calls out. Then they all stuff themselves with big hunks of meat.

Continued:       1       2       3       4       5       6       7