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Frankly, I do not feel great about any of their chances given the appearance of the dishes they serve. There is only one exception. Chrissy delivers a torta omelet with lobster and bacon that looks worthy of a magazine cover. I am too distracted to appreciate the dish properly, though. Who in the Blue Hell is Chrissy? I am not sure she has spoken in the entire episode prior to presenting her dish.

Wolfgang mentions that Chrissy’s dish could have used a little salt. I would argue that her performance could have used a little spice. I’m wondering if this is another Tina scenario where the contestant is so nondescript that she earns no air time.

All of the dishes absorb the caustic Puck honesty. Tyler’s dish is imperfect but balanced well. Kuniko is informed that her “technique is almost there." Hooray? Puck is nicer to Daniel than the contender had expected. “If I could eat it in the dark and not see it, I would like it.” This is the kindness displayed toward a person who has failed; Puck lets him down gently. Eliza is told that she has crafted a “tasty omelet” but she is not given a jacket immediately, either. Finally, Carla receives the strangest comment thus far. “It looks like a woman with a lot of makeup on.”

Given the above, would you have any idea who was advancing or who was not? Me either. Ergo, I am shocked when Puck announces that five out of the six players will earn a spot in Seattle. All of them believe that they are the one who has been eliminated. As I had expected, however, Daniel’s mistake is egregious. Everyone else is safe. We now know the identities of nine Top Chef: Seattle participants. And Daniel grunts his displeasure to the camera. I drink his tears like the finest wine.

In Atlanta, Georgia, Huch Acheson assembles the remaining Top Chef hopefuls. There are three women and two men in this heat. One of them immediately introduces himself as “a kid from Hawaii." Mahalo, Sheldon Simeon! Wait, there is a native Hawaiian named Sheldon Simeon? All of my years spent watching college football have misled me regarding the state’s naming conventions. I blame Chris Fuamatu-Ma?afala. Anyway, Sheldon gets a lot of face time during his segment. He appears likely to advance based on this focus.

Two time Top Chef Masters loser Hugh Acheson informs the contenders of their requirement. The quintet is given 45 minutes to create a salad. My wife immediately starts humming the tune to The Simpsons’ “You don’t win friends with salad” bit. I bitterly curse myself for not thinking of it first.

The next player who garners a lot of face time is Bart. Wait a moment. Apparently, I should announce him as Sir Bart Vandaele, Knight of the Order of the Crown of Belgium. How a chef came to recognized with such a lofty title escapes me but I think we can agree that this is a very cool casting idea. If Bart has yet to grace the cover of Food and Wine Magazine while he is decked out in a suited of armor, this is a shocking omission that must be corrected immediately. There is no way a Knight of the Order of the Crown will fail to qualify for Top Chef: Seattle.

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