Survivor: Phillipines - Episode 5
Got My Swag Back
By Ben Willoughby
October 18, 2012
At camp, Dawson is playing with Jeff Kent, exclaiming that maybe she should date an athlete. Jeff Kent perks up, “What do you consider an athlete?” “Umm… football, basketball… then I guess at the end, maybe baseball.”
Dawson interviews that there is too much standing around at camp, and she enjoys getting into Jeff Kent’s mind and making him uncomfortable. Dawson is clearly an amateur at teasing baseballers. "Football, basketball, track, lacrosse, swimming, water polo... rowing, cycling, hockey, field hockey... table tennis, cricket, bowling, Texas hold 'em, golf, Nascar... then maybe baseball? Oh, I forgot curling!"
“Football is bigger than baseball,” Dawson continues in camp. Seriously Dawson, you’re stepping into “Dawson’s Creek” territory here. If you want to get under Jeff Kent's skin, why not just poll everyone on the dumbest athlete of all time, and then ask “What was the name of the dumbass baseballer who broke his wrist popping wheelies and blamed it on his innocent truck?”
Jonathan, Jeff Kent and Carter have a final pow-wow on the beach where they make their decision. “Let’s just get this done right now. Is it Katie or is it her?” Jeff Kent interviews that if Dawson knows his dirty secret that he’s a fabulously wealthy baseballer, it might be best to vote her out. So it’s totally 100% obvious that Katie is going tonight, right? I mean, Probst said she completely blew the challenge and should have been put down!
At Tribal Council, Probst starts with asking Dawson about Dana’s departure. Dawson says that Dana was one of the strongest she’s ever met, and seeing her beat her fists on the ground was very hard. In three days, they have gone from being undefeated to down two, and Jonathan states that if Dana was there they would not have lost. Katie looks worried, but Jonathan probably meant that Abi would have been forced to compete.
That out of the way, Probst can’t wait to ask Katie about her challenge performance. “Miserable start for the tribe on your shoulders.” Katie owns it by explaining says that she feels like the biggest idiot, and she hopes that her tribe knows she is capable of more and consider her worthy of staying here. Probst finally shuts up about it.
Probst asks Dawson about Denise and how she seems like a worthy competitor. Is that a good argument for keeping her here? “Absolutely,” agrees Dawson, before talking about how while they “love to see” Probst, it sucks having to vote someone out.
Why keep Dawson? She keeps spirits up “by being optimistic and empowering! After 13 days of rain, that goes pretty far!” Cue the rattle sound effect and Jeff Kent looking sideways. Then Jeff Kent is asked about factors to vote on, and he talks about pretty much every factor there is – work around camp, loyalty, blah blah blah – before settling on strength for challenges.
And it’s time to vote. We don’t see any of them until Probst’s “tally” and it’s Denise, then Dawson, Dawson, Dawson, Dawson and I guess, Dawson and Dawson. Dawson says “Wow” and gets her torch. Dawson, it’s time to go.
She stares at Probst way too longingly, and then gives him a hug that says “Maybe swing by the losers’ lodge one night.” Seriously, she tries to kiss him and as he's on-camera Probst has to turn his cheek to part-avoid it! Probst must be thrilled that Katie and not Dawson sucked at the challenge today. “Wow,” she says again as she goes into the night, but maybe she's talking about the kiss-blocking by Probst. And she didn’t have a chance to play any pranks! So long, Dawson.
Probst’s final advice to Kalabaw is that this tribe has to break the curse of Denise and “got to get a win." Duh.
Next time on Survivor, things get physical at a mud wrestling challenge. Artis looks like he is going to open that can of whupass he has been saving, and Probst says “I’m pretty sure this is unprecedented! After 25 seasons, I’d be surprised.
In her final words, Dawson gushes about how Jeff Kent might be one of those millionaires that actually wins this thing, and he owes her "soooooo big!" Specifically, she wants a motorcycle and helmet and a sidecar, and also a pink gun. Pew pew!
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