Take Five
By George Rose
July 14, 2009
The ending itself is truly ridiculous. A second zombie human arrives and leaves the film open-ended. Of course, why wouldn't that be the case? And where are all the pets?! They can't even kill this movie with a decent ending. The biggest question of the film comes from that whinny little girl, who happens to have dreams of all these events just before they happen. Now THAT could have been a good movie. Why doesn't Stephen King care more about this little girl with miraculous powers of seeing the future? Why, God, why?! No, instead they slap the title "Pet Sematary" onto a product that barely shows any of true horror we've come to expect from the King of Fear. Sorry Stephen, but like you say in the tagline, "some things are better left dead."
Overall Rating: D+
The Reader (2008) – watched/written on July 11, 2009
Today I didn't watch one of the DVDs I brought to Greece because I was invited to go see The Reader at the only cinema on the island, an outdoor theater in a garden in the main city of Chios. Movies here are released many months after those in the United States, so while I missed The Reader this past winter in the US, I was still aware of its premise, yet had forgotten about it by the time I saw it today. As a critic, you're meant to review movies as objectively as possible, removing any semblance of your personal emotions prior and during the film. This was too difficult for me.
As I mentioned earlier in this article, I went to the birthday party of an older woman who I proposed to in a drunken stupor. This was the person I saw The Reader with. Mind you, she is 30 years old and I am 23. Also, I am not into the female gender. Since Greeks aren't big fans of the gays (despite the rest of the world referring to them as "boy lovers"), I have decided not to tell her. I'm not closeted at all, in the States anyway, but for the sake of her feelings this fact has gone unrevealed.
Try watching a movie about a 33 year old German woman having an affair with a 15 year old boy, when you yourself are a younger man with a cougar by your side. It's really hard to take objective notes on the filmmaking when this woman, who has no idea I prefer the beefy ticket salesman, is rubbing the skin off the inner-thigh under my shorts because she is so excited by the sex scenes between Kate Winslet and her younger male costar. I could barely eat my popcorn.
In any case, the movie was not at all what I expected. The movie starts with this affair and, from what I thought I knew about the film from the Oscar press releases, was all I would be privy to during its two hour duration. Naturally, I am wrong. The woman, Hannah, leaves the boy without warning because the job she has promoted to her to a higher position, for her stellar work ethic. However, she cannot read. Any normal person would decline the position or simply learn how to... you know... read a book. Instead, what makes sense to her is to join the Nazi cause and become a concentration camp guard. I guess gay Americans can't relate to German illiterates.
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