Stretch Armstrong
Release Date:
TBA
2012
With superhero movies setting the box office ablaze over the last decade, it was only a matter of time before studios started to search for other franchises that would grant them a license to print money. As we head into the next ten years, viewers should look for films based on their favorite childhood toys and board games. Already, Transformers has proven that a Hasbro toy can be produced into a hugely successful juggernaut. Now, Universal Pictures and Hasbro Inc. have teamed up to bring another toy, Stretch Armstrong, to the big screen.
Brian Grazer has agreed to produce Stretch Armstrong. He has been responsible for such box office behemoths as The Da Vinci Code and How the Grinch Stole Christmas, as well as Oscar winner A Beautiful Mind. Steve Oedekerk is set to write the film. His resume includes Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, Bruce Almighty, The Nutty Professor, and the ridiculous Kung Pow. Oedekerk’s past of writing screenplays where no brain cells are required seems to fit right in with a film about an incredible stretchy man, while Brian Grazer seems to be taking the role of a rebellious kid who wants to change his normal routine with this project.
The action adventure film is based on a toy from the 1970s and re-launched in the 1990s. Stretch Armstrong was an action figure in the shape of a muscular blond man wearing only a pair of swimming trunks. He could be stretched by kids and parents alike up to four feet before returning to his original shape. The figure was filled with corn syrup which is what provided it with its elasticity. Over the years, different versions of the figure were produced, such as Stretch Serpent, The Octopi Siblings, Ollie and Olivia, which were blue and pink respectively, and arch-enemy, Stretch Monster. The Monster was a dark green atrocity that resembled the Kraken from Clash of the Titans. In the 1990s, Stretch was given a canine ally, Fetch Armstrong.
It seems likely that a Stretch Armstrong movie will need to feature various aquatic battles since his nemesis appears to be a beast from the sea, not to mention Stretch’s main attire of swimming trunks. As for now, the plot remains a mystery, but one can imagine several scenes of a nearly naked dude becoming a ladder so small children can rescue their cat from a tree. Perhaps Mr. Armstrong can acquire a day job with a janitorial company where he is the designated ceiling cleaner. It can be assured that Stretch will never have a problem scratching that spot in the middle of his back where most people can never reach.
DC Comics must be mighty aggravated by the production considering that one of its super heroes, Plastic Man, has the exact same powers as Stretch. All DC would need to do is digitally add a red leotard and goggles to the character and they would be set. (Ryan O'Neill/BOP)
