The Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience
February 27, 2009
Movie of the Day for Saturday, February 14, 2009
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Once upon a time, there was a big movie studio called Walt Disney Pictures. They had a knack for creating tween pop superstars. One day, they decided to make a 3-D movie starring one of their biggest, tweeniest pop superstars, Miley Cyrus, and it made a lot of money. I mean, a WHOLE lot of money. Enough money to power a small, third-world country. Let me give you a rough idea of how this movie, given the awkwardly long name of Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert, did at the domestic box-office:
- It had the highest-grossing opening weekend for a film released in under 1,000 theatres
- It scored the biggest weekend total ever for a Super Bowl weekend
- It averaged $45,560 per screen in its opening weekend, giving it the highest average per theater of all time for a wide release film
So gentle reader, if you were the head of this magical movie studio, what would you do?
D’uh! You would, like, totally make a really super cool sequel, but with dreamy boys in the lead role so that we can, like, totally dance in the theatre and make believe that they’re, like, our boyfriends or something! Wow! Like that’s hot. It’d make, like, so much money. I could, like, totally buy that cute Fendi bag that I saw yesterday cause Martha in gym class, like totally ragged on my Coach purse but that’s just because I caught her making out with Tony Reeves behind the locker when I was looking for Stacey so that I could tell her about...
*cough cough* Excuse me. I’m not sure what came over me right there. In any case, that’s pretty much what Disney seems to be doing. In a decision that was as easy to make as greenlighting a sequel to Twilight, the folks at the Mouse House have chosen to honor the Jonas Brothers (their hot act du jour) with the next of these 3-D concert adventures.
Based on the set list and trailer, it doesn’t look they’ll be deviating too far from the structure that proved so successful with Miley. Flashy editing? Check. Screaming girls? Check. Behind the scenes footage? Check.
The only things that appear to be different are that the film will include two guest stars, adding the inconsequential star power of Dani Lovato and the massive, all-encompassing, get-out-of-the-way-or-you’ll-get-run-over star power of Taylor Swift and releasing the film a few weeks after Super Bowl weekend instead of on it.
Both of these moves, I would imagine, will help the Jonas Brothers outgross their precursor’s film. Add on to that the fact that a year later, there are more theatres equipped with Disney 3-D technology, and the potential gross goes even higher.
I hope that whoever goes to see this film (and I’m sure there will be plenty) has a lot of fun. I hope that whoever gets dragged to see this film with their girlfriend/daughter/niece/friend (and I’m sure there will be plenty) has fun, too. As for me, I think I’ll sit this one out.
Maybe I’ll go watch Clueless again. That voice is so much fun to do! Like, totally! (Jason Lee/BOP)