Unfortunately, my stinky sense knew what it was talking about. Van Helsing is horrible. The film has some of the worst dialogue you'll ever hear outside of porn, the effects are totally touch and go, and it is far, far too long. It's so ludicrous at points that it almost works as a film so wonderfully bad that it accidentally manages to be entertaining.

And Alan Silvestri should not be allowed to do any musical scores for films for at least five years. Man, did that ever bring the suck.