Survivor: Cook Islands

Why Aren't You Swimming?

By Jim Van Nest

November 2, 2006

Ladies and gentlemen, the most annoying girl in the world!

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The next couple of segments can be summed up real easy. Mmm, peanut butter. It really sucks to lose. Brad's "creative spatial" and cost his tribe the win. And damn, is it cold and rainy on Exile Island. Ok, memo to the Survivor producers, stop it already. Stop wasting time showing winners eating and Exile Island sucking. It wastes valuable show time. The only interesting thing to come out of this entire segment is that with Cao Boi and Christina gone, I was really able to focus on how much I loathe Jenny and Adam. Jenny is just bitchy and useless, while Adam has morphed into an NFL wide receiver so fast I didn't even notice. His tribe bringing the suck to every challenge is the fault of everyone but him.

The next day at Aitu, Ozzy amazes yet again. He's managed to, get this, catch a bird. Apparently it was sleeping, and he snuck up on it. Are you frickin kidding me? Dude catches fish like those guys on ESPN2 on Saturday mornings and now he's catching birds. Thus begins the discussion of Ozzy as the provider. Candice and Yul both seem to be realizing that he might be someone to keep around for awhile. Yul, however, is concerned about Ozzy in the individual challenges. And he should be. Ozzy then approaches Flicka and Candice about who to vote for. Flicka's all for it, while Candice says nothing. Ozzy's target seems to be Jonathan. Uh oh...because I know the higher math, I put two and two and two together and Jonathan might be in trouble. Candice has turned on him, Ozzy is proving his worth and he's actively trying to get Jonathan out of there. No one trusts the guy at all. I wonder if he even realizes how important this next challenge is for him.

Probst sighting #2. Adam is brought back from Exile Island and tells everyone how terrible it was there. Yeah, buddy. I feel your pain. Every trip to Exile Island is excruciating. Ya know, I appreciate that they're trying to come up with all new challenges and stuff, but the lengthy explanations are killing me. In this one, the tribes will race to take a bunch of different length poles and stack them in the ground in order to form a stairway to a platform. Three people will then ride on a zip line down to the water where they'll splash down and grab a bag of puzzle pieces. First tribe to put the puzzle together wins immunity. In response to me wondering if Jonathan knows how important this challenge is for him, I'd say that he doesn't because he decides to sit this one out.

Survivors ready? This challenge begins as most challenges do; with Aitu working very well as a team while Raro flounders. Aitu is quick to put the stairway together and Yul takes off on the zip line. Candice and Ozzy follow. Meanwhile, Raro figures it out and Brad is first to hit the zip line. Of course, he drags his feet through the water for most of the ride. Dude, that's not gonna make you go faster. However, Raro does make a pretty good comeback and the tribes are neck and neck trying to figure out the puzzle. In a weird twist, Becky, Sundra and Flicka can't get their puzzle together and Raro comes through with an improbable challenge win.


When we get back to Aitu, it's time to play "It's anyone but Jonathan or Ozzy or Flicka." Candice breaks it down for us. Ozzy is a stud and will be tough to beat. No one trusts Jonathan and Flicka is just bugging the crap out of everyone. And right there, it looks like Ozzy and Jonathan may have just gotten a stay of execution. One thing I've learned through 12 and a half seasons of Survivor: annoying outweighs tough at challenges and untrustworthy 95% of the time. A lot of maneuvering is going on and the oddest thing for me is seeing that Yul is the only one that doesn't get a weird vibe from Jonathan. Though he says it's rubbing off on him. And as it often does on Survivor, somehow Ozzy has gone from the obvious boot due to his strength and challenge performance to safe while Jonathan and Flicka fight it out. Amazing.

At Tribal Council we learn that the ethnicity split really has ended up meaning nothing in the long run of the game. Flicka makes the tribe out to be nothing but roses and love. Jeff puts Yul on the spot by asking him about how all of Flicka's answers are so positive all the time. Yul calls it out point blank: "it's nice to have someone like that because they're not going to be a threat. Talk comes to Ozzy as the provider. While he does admit that it could turn against him and be the cause of his demise, but he figures if that's how it goes, that's about the best way to go out.

We only see two votes: Jonathan voting for Flicka and Flicka voting for Jonathan. This usually means a unanimous vote. And if I were a betting man, I'd wager that Flicka will head to Loser's Lounge. And yep...with a vote of 6-1, Flicka becomes the eighth person voted out of Survivor: Cook Islands.

Well, thanks for hanging out with me again this week and come back next week when Brad seems to become even more of a loner on Raro and Jeff gives the players a chance to change their fate. One can only assume that they've gone back to the well and are trying the "does anyone want to switch tribes" experiment that fell flat on its face the last time they tried it. Either way, next week's show looks to be pretty good for a couple reasons. Potential twist and there won't be any more election ads. Until next week, I just want to remind everyone, no matter what your political preference is, please get out on Tuesday and vote. It's one of the things that makes this country great, so don't miss out. Take care.

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