TiVoPlex

By John Seal

September 26, 2006

I'm afraid it's true...this IS the last Airport sequel

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From the obscure to the obscurest to the merely overlooked or underappreciated; they all have a home in the TiVoPlex! All times Pacific.

Tuesday 09/26/06

12:10am Cinemax
Crónicas (2004 MEX-ECU): Gotta hand it to John Leguizamo: he's not scared of leaving his plush Hollywood mansion in favor of something a little more downmarket. Here's another of his Spanish-language features, a crime drama about a Florida TV talking head and his pursuit of an Ecuadorian serial killer. Leguizamo, of course, plays Yanqui Manolo Bonilla, a Geraldo Rivera type who dumpster-dives for the most sensational scoops in order to boost his market share. He heads to South America to track down the infamous Monster of Babahoyo, a child killer with more than 150 notches on his belt. When Manolo attends a victim's funeral that goes horribly wrong, he finds himself up to his neck in trouble, and closer to the killer than he originally envisaged. Directed by Sebastian Cordero, currently shooting Harrison Ford's Manhunt, Crónicas was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize at Sundance 2005. Look for Alfred Molina - the only other cast member likely to be recognized by Anglophone audiences - as the husband of Bonilla's producer. Also airs at 3:40am.

5pm Turner Classic Movies
Death of a Cyclist (1955 ESP): Here's a super rarity that should have the mouths of world cinema enthusiasts watering uncontrollably: a long-forgotten Franco-era feature directed by Juan Antonio Bardem, the uncle of actor Javier Bardem. Count me amongst the orally pre-moistened, as I've never had an opportunity to see this drama - about a pair of adulterers trying to conceal both their own love affair and their involvement in a fatal auto accident - and it sure ain't on home video. Lucia Bose, perhaps best known to American audiences for her role in Fellini Satyricon, stars as the female half of the couple, and Alberto Closas represents the masculine sex as her academic amour. Death of a Cyclist probably won't live up to my fevered expectations, but it got under the noses of the Franco regime, who made sure Spanish newspapers gave it a thorough bollixing on its initial release. That's recommendation enough for me!

Wednesday 09/27/06

4:30am Turner Classic Movies
Seven Keys to Baldpate (1929 USA): Based on Earl Derr Biggers' novel of the same name, Seven Keys to Baldpate was filmed on half-a-dozen occasions between 1916 and 1947. This was the first talkie take on the tale, and stars Richard Dix as William Magee, a successful writer who bets that he can complete an entire book within 24 hours whilst staying at the deserted and remote Baldpate Inn. Magee supposedly has the only key to the establishment, but finds his solitude repeatedly interrupted by uninvited girlfriends, cash-laden gangsters, and even the town mayor. Lucien Littlefield is around to supply comic relief, and there's a twist in the plot's tale that would spoil the story for those not already in the know, so I'll keep mum. Fans of the old dark house genre should also stay tuned at 5:45am, when the 1933 Warner Oland vehicle Before Dawn, a fun thriller which finds Oland matching wits with Jane Darwell over the possession of a $1 million legacy, gets a rare airing.

12:30pm Turner Classic Movies
Father Takes a Walk (1935 GB): A very obscure Warner's bill-filler produced in Britain (though directed by infamous American auteur William "One-Shot" Beaudine), Father Takes a Walk stars German actor Paul Graetz as Jake Cohen, a Jewish businessman who takes a holiday in the country when he finds his children can run the family firm as well as or better than he can. When he returns to town and finds son Jack (Mickey Brantford) wooing a Gentile (Meriel Forbes), he decides it's time to reassert some parental authority. This warm-hearted family drama is thoroughly predictable, but the cast is good, and it's nice to see Jewish culture reflected through the prism of British cinema for a change.

Thursday 09/28/06

1am More Max
Concorde: Airport ‘79 (1979 USA): I got all hot and bothered by the original listing for this film, which indicated that the impossibly obscure Ruggero Deodato knock-off Concorde Affaire ‘79 would be broadcast in this time slot. Alas, such does not appear to be the case: Cinemax's Web site has been changed, and it now looks like this garden-variety Airport sequel from TV director David Lowell Rich is what we're actually getting. Still, all is not lost: this IS the most obscure entry in the series, and there's certainly some camp value to be had from any film set aboard the supersonic "arrive before you leave" jetliner. Naturally, it wouldn't be an Airport film without George Kennedy, and he is on hand here reprising his role as Joe Patroni, now a full-fledged captain trying to keep his ship intact in the face of threats from the Armée de l'Air (otherwise known as the French Air Force), as well as those treacherous and suspiciously pointy Alps. Also involved: international nuclear intrigue, the Moscow Olympics, and a hot air balloon. The cast includes Alain Delon and Sylvia Kristel, but gets pretty thin beyond that, consisting primarily of folks who spent most of the ‘70s parading their polyester on The Hollywood Squares or Match Game, including Robert Wagner, Avery Schreiber, Charo, John Davidson, and Jimmie "Dyno-MITE" Walker, amongst other lesser luminaries. It all adds up to nostalgic fun for those of a certain age.

Friday 09/29/06

11am Fox Movie Channel
The Flim-Flam Man (1967 USA): This movie seemed to pop up on local television on a weekly basis back in the late 1970s. Seen only infrequently in recent years, it's been airing this month on Fox in wide-screen, and is worth a look for those who didn't burn out on it back in the day. Directed by Empire Strikes Back helmer Irvin Kershner, the film features George C. Scott as a veteran con man who meets a young kid (Michael Sarrazin) and takes the boy under his wing with the unstated goal of grooming the lad as his successor. The plan begins to bear fruit as the twosome navigate the dusty back-roads of Kentucky, but runs aground when the kid falls for a pretty young thing (Lolita's Sue Lyon). Harry Morgan is on hand as a local sheriff, and Slim Pickens, Jack Albertson, Alice Ghostley, and Strother Martin also put in appearances. What, no Dabbs Greer?




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9pm Sundance
Stryker (2004 CAN): Or, Thug Life, North of the Border style. Set in the desolate reaches of north Winnipeg, Stryker details the warfare between two ethnic gangs - one Filipino, the other Native American. They're battling over the usual stuff - drugs, prostitution, turf - and in all honesty, the film doesn't break much new ground. Okay, it really doesn't break ANY new ground, but it does feature a heck of a lot of snow, as well as some decent Aboriginal hip-hop. Fk Tha Police, eh?

Saturday 09/30/06

11am Turner Classic Movies
The Land That Time Forgot (1975 GB): A sizable Saturday afternoon matinee hit back in the ‘70s (well, I paid to see it, at any rate), The Land That Time Forgot makes its wide-screen American television debut this morning. Surprisingly still AWOL on DVD (though it was briefly available as one of MGM's Drive-In Double Feature packages), the film was the first of three Edgar Rice Burroughs' novels adapted for the screen by Britain's Amicus Productions. Set during the First World War, the film stars Doug McClure as a survivor of a submarine attack who manages, post-sinking, to somehow wrest control of the guilty U-Boat from the sailors of the Reichsmarine. When the sub's navigational devices break down, the vessel finds itself drifting into dangerous and unfamiliar waters, and before you can say Gott in Himmel all aboard find themselves threatened by giant prehistoric creatures portrayed by unconvincing puppets, men in rubber suits, and poor stop-motion animation. If bad special effects don't offend you, The Land That Time Forgot is an eminently enjoyable diversion, and is especially well-suited for youngsters for whom Jurassic Park might be a bit too scary.

Sunday 10/01/06

10:15am Sundance
Das Bus (2004 USA): I wasn't a huge fan of Benjamin Meade's previous film, the overly intrusive 2002 documentary Vakvagany, but he seems to be on firmer ground with lighter material such as Das Bus. It's a blend of fiction and non-fiction, with Meade focusing his camera on those who work for and those who use the public transportation system in Kansas City, Kansas (yes, this Coastie was surprised to learn that Kansas City has a public transit system). More than just a series of interviews, this film also offers recreations of some of the juiciest (and perhaps apocryphal) bus ride tales, as portrayed by the storytellers with a little help from some semi-professional actors. For those of us who actually take the bus to work most days, this is a hilarious and at times disturbing look at some of the characters you meet after you've boarded the coach, wiped your seat clean, and penned some graffiti on the seatback in front of you.

11pm Turner Classic Movies
Goke, Body Snatcher From Hell (1969 JAP): More airline thrills and chills arrive this evening courtesy Goke, Body Snatcher From Hell, a Toho thriller making its wide-screen television debut tonight. When a Japan Airlines flight crash-lands in the desert, the survivors count themselves lucky...until they start running out of food and water. Even worse, they find themselves being stalked by a bizarre vampire/parasite that uses one of the passengers' bodies as a host. As the death toll mounts, desperation grows, and the remaining humans must put aside their differences to tackle the extraterrestrial threat. One of the most memorable Japanese thrillers of its era - with a villain you'll never forget once you've seen his forehead - Goke has never had an American home video release. Unless you anted up for the region 2 PAL disc released by Britain's Artsmagic (TiVoPlex raises its hand), you won't want to miss this.

Monday 10/02/06

12pm Sundance
Citizen Black(2004 CAN-GB ): Most people know that media magnate Rupert Murdoch is a nasty, reactionary piece of work. Few people know of his Canadian counterpart, Conrad Black, a man of equally right-wing bent who parlayed the family fortune into ownership of a newspaper chain that included crypto-fascist dailies such as Britain's Telegraph, Israel's Jerusalem Post, and the Chicago Sun-Times. Never satisfied with being a life peer of the House of Lords or one of the wealthiest men in Canada, Black also earned some money the old-fashioned way: by swindling it. Amongst his takings: $62 million in pension funds from the workers of Dominion Stores (a large north-of-the-border supermarket chain) and $7 million from Hollinger International, a mining consortium at one time chaired by the rapacious Toronto native. This documentary takes a look at the man's life, from his pampered roots to his exile in disgrace at Bridle Path mansion, where he awaits resolution of his numerous fiduciary and legal problems. Don't feel too sorry for him, though; he's still worth more than the rest of us combined. Also airs at 6pm.

3pm Turner Classic Movies
The Devil with Hitler (1942 USA): TCM has been on a bit of a Hal Roach kick of late, and thank goodness, because here's one of the great man's most unusual productions. When the Devil (Alan Mowbray) learns that Hell's Board of Directors are planning to replace him as CEO with Adolf Hitler (Bobby Watson, who earned his bread-and-butter for decades portraying the Nazi dictator), he resolves to find the silver lining in Herr Schickelgruber's cloud, thus disqualifying him from consideration for the post. After maneuvering his way into Hitler's inner circle, Lucifer finds the challenge an almost overwhelming one, and he ultimately resorts to underhanded trickery to accomplish his aim. Complicating matters for Old Scratch are Mussolini (Joe Devlin) and the fictional Suki Yaki (George E. Stone), who are determined to keep Adolf on the side of unadulterated Axis evil. Produced to bolster morale during the darkest days of the war, The Devil with Hitler is a most unusual cultural artifact, and hasn't been seen on television since...well, a really long time ago, if ever. It's followed at 4pm by its even more obscure sequel, 1943's Nazty Nuisance, in which the primary cast members reprise their roles.


     


 
 

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