TiVoPlex

By John Seal

August 7, 2006

Sorry girls, he's married

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From the obscure to the obscurest to the merely overlooked or underappreciated; they all have a home in the TiVoPlex! All times Pacific.

Tuesday 08/08/06

1:30am Encore
North Shore (1987 USA): Cowabunga! Here's a long-forgotten surf flick written by Honey I Blew Up the Kid director Randal Kleiser. Matt Adler, last seen portraying the unforgettable “truck radio announcer” in 2004's The Day After Tomorrow, stars as surf rat Rick Kane, who's enjoying one last summer catching waves before enrolling in the academically challenging and ivy-draped environs of his local art school. Good decision dude, we all know art students NEVER have a moment's free time. Whilst hanging out on the beach, he meets ‘60s surfing guru Chandler (Gregory Harrison), who tries to wean Rick away from the neighborhood's materialistic, money-grubbing surf dawgs in favor of his own clan of spiritually pure hang-Zen wave enthusiasts. Also along for the ride is wahine Kiani (Nia Peeples), who encourages Rick to enter a big contest where he can ride the pipeline and shove a victory into the faces of her relatives (who don't like the white man making a move on their cuz) and a trio of egotistical Aussie semi-pros. There's plenty of exciting wipeout footage to please Endless Summer admirers, but the story is strictly paint-by-numbers stuff, and there's no sign of Frankie and Annette. Also airs at 4:30am.

4:50am Starz! In Black
Dancehall Queen(1997 JAM): This familiar rags-to-riches tale takes place in Jamaica, where struggling single mother Marcia (Audrey Reid) sells soda pop and beer outside the local dancehall. When her life becomes even more difficult thanks to the lousy men in her life, she takes matters into her own hands and enters a dance contest worth 100,000 Jamaican dollars. The film's premise rests on the rather flimsy proposition that no one recognizes the beer lady once she hits the stage, but the story is thoroughly engaging and the cast is superb. The attractive and expressive Reid is particularly notable, but kudos also to Paul Campbell as scum-of-the-earth bad guy Priest, oily Carl Davis as Marcia's sugar daddy Larry, and Cherine Anderson as Marcia's brassy daughter Tanya. Being a bit of a reggae snob I didn't expect to enjoy the music, but the upbeat dancehall style is catchy and infectious, and the dancing scenes will certainly hold your attention.

Wednesday 08/09/06

1am Sundance
Torch Song Trilogy (1988 USA): Harvey Fierstein's long-running Broadway hit made a successful transition to the big screen in this Paul Bogart-helmed adaptation. Fierstein himself returns in the main role of Arnold, a drag queen who's seen better days but isn't ready to throw in the towel just yet. The trilogy refers to the structure of the narrative, which examines three relationships in Arnold's life: the first with Ed (Brian Kerwin), a man uncertain about and uncomfortable with his sexuality; the second with Alan (Matthew Broderick), which ends tragically in murder; and the third with David (Eric Castrodad), a gay teenager adopted by Arnold in an unwitting effort to out-mother his mother (Anne Bancroft). Set in the pre-AIDS era of gay innocence and partly based on the life story of Charles Pierce, Torch Song Trilogy is a tour de force for Fierstein, a wonderful actor whose cameo appearance many moons ago on The Simpsons remains one of that series’ classic highlights.

Thursday 08/10/06

12:15pm Starz! Edge
2046 (2004 HK): Not quite sure how to explain 2046, making its American television premiere on Starz! Edge; there are few things LESS edgy than a Kar Wei Wong picture, though this one does come with some of the more philosophic trappings of the science fiction genre. Ostensibly a sequel to Wong's lethargic tale of romance In the Mood for Love, 2046 finds the star of that film (Tony Cheung) returning as novelist Chow Mo Wan, whose latest novel imagines a time in the future (guess which year) where memories have been collected in some sort of library of the mind. Also, 2046 is the hotel room where Chow engaged in wooing Su Li Zhen (Maggie Cheung) in the previous film, making this feature a field day for numerologists. It's all gorgeously filmed by the great Christopher Doyle, but it's also about as exciting as watching an ice cube melt, so if you're the sort who prefers watching giant ice cubes sink massive ocean liners, you can give it a miss. I also suspect this will be a pan-and-scan print, which will render much of Doyle's work unwatchable and make the story itself even more unfathomable than it already is. Approach with caution.

1pm Fox Movie Channel
Hello-Goodbye (1970 GB): Cheeky chappy Michael Crawford manages to keep his jolly-o-meter under control for once in a serious role as a car salesman out to bed the beautiful wife of aristocrat Curt Jürgens. She's played by the preposterously proportioned (and acting-impaired) Geneviève Gilles, whose frequent nude scenes must have pushed the limits of the GP rating in America. Francis Lai's score is breathtakingly beautiful, and it's a shame that Henri Decaë's cinematography is compromised by the pan-and-scan print currently airing on the Fox Movie Channel. Approach with low expectations and you may enjoy Hello-Goodbye, though fans of late ‘60s pop psychedelic cinema will be more enthusiastic than others.

6pm Starz! Edge
Stander (2003 SAF): He's never been one of my favorites, but Baltimore-born tree stump Thomas Jane acquits himself reasonably well in this entertaining, based-on-a-true-story South African crime drama. Jane plays Andre Stander, a Pretoria police officer who moonlighted as a bank robber by night, whilst investigating his own crimes by day. Motivated by his disdain for a police force that spent more time cracking black African heads than cracking down on everyday street crime, Stander went on a lengthy and successful robbery run that culminated in a 34-year sentence and a bloody denouement. The film is raw, kinetic stuff, though perhaps a tad overcooked by director Bronwen Hughes, who tries to turn our hero into an anti-apartheid crusader. Regardless, this is a very good film, and is appearing in wide-screen this evening. Also airs at 9pm.

Friday 08/11/06

2am HBO
The Iceman and the Psychiatrist (2006 USA): True crime mavens are advised to take a look at this brand-new HBO original documentary about Mafia hit man Richard Kuklinski. Previously the subject of an earlier HBO doc (2001's The Iceman Confesses), Kuklinski died earlier this year, but got one final moment in the sun before his demise, courtesy psychiatrist Park Dietz. Dietz, an FBI consultant, reviewed hours of interviews with the notorious killer, and The Iceman and the Psychiatrist attempts to answer the big question: what, besides watching too many Uwe Boll films, turns an otherwise normal person into a soulless killing machine? Also airs at 5am.




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Saturday 08/12/06

5am IFC
Samurai Saga (1959 JAP): Samurai Saturday returns to the Golden Age of swordplay with this week's offering, a Japanese take on Edmond Rostand's Cyrano de Bergerac. Toshirô Mifune stars as Heihachiro Komaki, a samurai with a large nose, a bigger heart, and a penchant for flowery poetry. He's smitten with Lady Ochii (The Last Days of Planet Earth's Yôko Tsukasa), but she can't see past his nasal protuberance and prefers the more traditionally handsome Jutaro (kaiju veteran Akira Takarada). The kindly Heihachiro befriends his rival, and offers verse to his new friend as a romantic aid. Less violent than most samurai films, Samurai Saga makes up for it with engaging characters and a wonderful performance by Mifune. A moving score by the late, great Akira Ifukube is the final icing on this surprisingly sweet and delicate slice of cinematic cake. Also airs at 11:45am.

10:35am The Movie Channel
Bean (1997 GB): Rowan Atkinson's second-most popular character - Blackadder, alas, has still to make it to the big screen - is the focus of this periodically amusing farce, which makes its wide-screen television debut this morning. In this iteration, the non-communicative Bean is the worst employee at a renowned London art gallery, whose trustees decide to ship him to Los Angeles to get him out of sight and out of mind. Entrusted to install a famous and valuable painting at a California art gallery - and instructed to deliver an introductory speech - Bean finds himself at odds with both his remit and with the sun-and-sand lifestyle, predictably leading to a series of hilarious pratfalls, unfortunate accidents, and extreme gurning. Bean doesn't really work as a feature film, but it has its moments, and you'll find yourself laughing more than once.

4pm Sundance
Janis (1974 USA): Though I'm not a fan of the music of Janis Joplin, this is a refreshing look at the brief life and times of the Texas-born wailer. Completely lacking in artifice, Joplin comes across as the archetypal high-school outcast, a frumpy artistic type who found liberation living the life of a San Francisco hippy and singing the blues. Joplin comes across as extremely likable and is bluntly honest about her shortcomings as a singer; she pays tribute to Aretha Franklin, acknowledging her own lack of subtlety which, she hoped wistfully, might come in time. That time, of course, never came, and we are left with the extremely erratic results. Joplin is best remembered for her decent-if-clumsy takes on Ball and Chain and Piece of My Heart, and those tracks are represented here, but the versions of Tell Mama, Cry Baby, and Maybe are frankly embarrassing. Joplin also struggles with Gershwin's Summertime, but the results there are better, partly because the song is so mighty it defies all attempts to lessen its power, and partly because the Kozmic Blues Band wisely chose to arrange it in a raga rock style which still sounds quite fresh today. The film ends with a wistful photo montage set to the tune of Me and Bobby McGee, the posthumous 1971 hit that reunited Janis with the country music of her childhood. Regardless of how you rate Joplin's music, I defy anyone to watch this film and not come away deeply impressed by the humor, intelligence, and warmth of its subject.

Sunday 08/13/06

1am Turner Classic Movies
Pretty Maids All in a Row (1971 USA): If you can get over the concept of star Rock Hudson playing a hyper-masculine stud bent on bedding an endless parade of beautiful young ladies, then you'll probably enjoy this very rarely-screened Roger Vadim feature. Hudson plays high-school football coach (!) Tiger McDrew, whose insatiable lust for nubile students leads to charges of statutory rape and murder. It's typical Vadim chauvinist territory - just ask ex-wife Jane Fonda for further details - but Hudson does well, ably turning his previously wholesome persona on its head. Co-starring Angie Dickinson, Telly Savalas, Roddy McDowell, Keenan Wynn, and Scotty himself, James Doohan, this Gene Roddenberry-penned black comedy is a fascinating look at sex mores of the early ‘70s, and appears on TCM for the first time this morning.

5am Turner Classic Movies
Voice in the Mirror (1958 USA): TCM has a whole slew of Walter Matthau features on tap this month, and though many of them are very good, they're by and large a tad too familiar for the exclusive environs of the TiVoPlex. Here's one of the exceptions, a long-forgotten Universal feature about the travails of alcoholic commercial artist Jim Burton (Richard Egan). Ten years on from the death of his daughter - the event that led him to drink in the first place - Jim and wife Ellen (statuesque Julie London) return to their old apartment to confront demons and air dirty laundry. When Dr. Karnes (Matthau) advises him that the bottle is adversely affecting his health and recommends a trip to a sanitarium, Jim instead goes off on a bender before the third act's redemption and sobriety. Voice in the Mirror is basically an hour-and-a-half-long advertisement for Alcoholics Anonymous and looks a mite silly today, but some of the performances - especially that of Arthur O'Connell as a fellow sot - are quite good, and star spotters will note a young Harry Dean Stanton as a psychotic fellow patient.

Monday 08/14/06

6pm Sundance
5 Days (2005 ISR): Filmed during Israel's hasty 2005 withdrawal from the Gaza Strip, 5 Days looks like ancient history in light of all that has since transpired. It's still interesting stuff, however, with director Yoav Shamir's cameras embedded in both the camp of the soon-to-be-displaced Jewish settlers and that of the Israeli Defense Force, ordered to do the displacing without shedding any blood. My, if only they could be so careful in Lebanon; but of course, we have been told by the outspoken Zionist ideologue Rabbi Yaacov Perrin that "one million Arabs are not worth a Jewish fingernail", rendering that care and sensitivity unnecessary. Indeed, amongst the subjects featured in 5 Days is General Dan Harel, now one of the leading proponents of genocide in South Lebanon. Funnily enough, neither the messianic settlers nor the IDF comes out of this film looking particularly good.


     


 
 

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