Watch What We Say

By Jared Fields

May 31, 2006

Someone needed to watch more episodes of What's Happening?

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With the May sweeps period over and most shows having aired their season finales, it's time to look at the summer offerings. These usually come in three varieties: shows not good enough to air in any other season, burn-off of the unaired episodes of shows cancelled earlier in the year, or cable series. Some of the cable series are also part of the first group, but some are aired in the summer to give their network a year-round schedule. HBO is notable in that regard, as they need original programming to keep their subscriber base up throughout the year. On June 11th they will replace The Sopranos with the Calvin Award-winning Deadwood, and Big Love with the fantastic Entourage and newcomer Lucky Louie. Deadwood follows the goings on in 1870s Deadwood, South Dakota. Entourage is about an actor, based in part on executive producer Mark Wahlberg, and his entourage of friends. Comedian Louis C.K. co-created and stars in sitcom Lucky Louie.

Also starting its summer season on June 11th is USA with the third season of The 4400. It follows a group of 4,400 people who disappeared in many different places and times, but all mysteriously returned at the same time and place in a glowing sphere. There will be a preview the week prior to the two-hour premiere. The following week brings the return of The Dead Zone, starring Anthony Michael Hall as a man who comes out of a six-year long coma with psychic abilities. You'll need to wait until July 7th for the network's other offerings, Monk and Psych. Tony Shaloub stars as an obsessive-compulsive detective in Monk. New series Psych is about a police consultant thought to be psychic by local detectives due to his powers of observation.

The NBC Universal umbrella that covers USA also covers Bravo and Sci Fi Channel. Bravo returns Celebrity Poker Showdown, where celebrities compete in a Texas Hold 'Em tournament for various charities, on May 31st. Hopefully they bring back Scott Stapp for new poker expert Phil Hellmuth, who replaces Phil Gordon. Also returning, both on June 6th, are Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List and Queer Eye. The former will be replaced July 18th by Tabloid Wars, which follows the editorial staff of the New York Daily News. Work Out, which follows Sky Sport and Spa owner Jackie Warner, will debut the following night then take over the vacated Queer Eye spot on July 25th. The other new show is Million Dollar Listing. Premiering June 12th, it is about the real estate business in Malibu and Hollywood. Returning on the Sci Fi Channel are Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis, both on July 14th. The first new offering will be the return of ECW to television on June 13th. It's a seemingly odd pairing, but one the parent company feels has an overlapping core demographic. Eureka, where a U.S. Marshall stumbles upon the secret that the government has been relocating geniuses to the town of the same name debuts July 18th, and Who Wants to be a Superhero, Stan Lee's new show where people compete to create a superhero, begins on July 27th.

MTV brings the greatest number of summer series with eight. The latest incarnation of Real World/Road Rules Challenge, dubbed Fresh Meat, debuted May 29th. Also returning, all on June 15th, are Pimp My Ride, Making the Band, and Run's House. The new shows are Blowin' Up, Fast Inc., The Hills, and Cheyenne. Blowin' Up premiered May 16th, and follows Jamie Kennedy and his friend as they try and become rap stars, possibly hurting my theory that Kevin Federline is just a Jamie Kennedy Experiment skit that spiraled out of control. Fast Inc., starting up June 5th, is about a trio of men who supply expensive cars to those that can afford them. Laguna Beach spin-off The Hills and Cheyenne, chronicling the life of young singer/guitarist Cheyenne Kimball, both debuted May 31st.

Other stations that are part of Viacom's MTV Networks with new summer programming include VH1, Spike TV, and Comedy Central. My Fair Brady returned to VH1 May 28th, a week after the debut of new series Supergroup. Supergroup puts five veteran rock stars in a band together, with the membership unknown to each of them until they meet at the start of the series. My Fair Brady will follow Christopher Knight and fiancée Adrianne Curry's journey to the altar. On June 3rd, Spike TV brings back demolition derby series Carpocalypse for a second season. The first original scripted drama from the network comes this June 28th in the form of Blade: The Series, based on the Marvel Comics character of the same name. It is followed on July 6th by The Dudesons, an import from Finland comparable to Jackass, and Raising the Roofs, which details what happens when actor Michael Roof's family leaves their small town to live with him in Los Angeles. First up from Comedy Central, on June 7th, is new improv/sketch comedy Dog Bites Man. The apparently final three episodes of Chappelle's Show will begin airing on July 9th, a night that also sees the return of Mind of Mencia and Reno 911.

FX goes with quality over quantity with the returns of Rescue Me and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Rescue Me stars co-creator Dennis Leary as a New York City fireman. It returned May 30th for its third season. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia surprisingly returns for a second season on June 29th. The very funny show, which some may find nearly as offensive as the titular town's sports fans, is about four friends who run an Irish bar in Philadelphia. A few selected episodes from the first season will air on Fox starting June 11th. TNT and ABC Family also offer few series. On June 12th TNT returns The Closer, followed by new series Saved, about a self-destructive EMT in Portland. Nightmares & Dreamscapes: From the Stories of Stephen King is TNT's final offering. Running from July 12th to August 2nd, it will feature adaptations of some of King's short stories. Canadian import Falcon Beach starts June 5th on ABC Family. Starting June 26th it will have Kyle XY, about a mysterious teenage savant, as its lead-in. ABC Family will also bring Three Moons Over Milford July 23rd. It follows a small-town family's reaction to a cosmic explosion that threatens Earth's existence.

Cable networks only offering one summer series are AMC, E!, Lifetime, Showtime, ESPN, and Nickelodeon. The first to bring something is E!, which regrettably brings back The Simple Life on June 4th. AMC brings the third season of Hustle from BBC One July 1st. Showtime's lone offering is up next on July 9th. Titled Brotherhood, it is about two brothers on opposite sides of the law. Hi-Jinks, a hidden camera prank show, starts its second season two nights later. On July 16th Lifetime debuts Angela's Eyes. Angela's Eyes is about a young FBI agent who knows when someone is lying. Boxing-based reality series The Contender moves from NBC to ESPN for its second season on July 18th, after a preview on July 12th. The lone broadcast network to offer only one series is The WB, which started burning off episodes of Blue Collar TV on May 31st.




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ABC has two new shows to go with the burn-offs of Commander-In-Chief, Rodney, and Less Than Perfect. Master of Champions, starting June 22nd, will have six people showcase unique talents as they compete to be crowned the next Master Champion. June 12th sees the debut of How to Get the Guy, a reality series following four women looking for love in San Francisco. Rodney and Less Than Perfect began their burn-offs on May 30th, with Commander-In-Chief following suit the following night.

The major returns for CBS are both multi-night series. The second season of Rockstar, dubbed Supernova, will kick off July 5th with another episode the following night before settling into its regular Tuesday and Wednesday night airings the following week. July 6th will be the debut of the seventh season of Big Brother, which will feature contestants from previous seasons. The following Tuesday it will begin its regular Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday schedule, with Thursday being eviction night. Gameshow Marathon started May 31st before settling into its regular spot the following night. It will feature celebrities competing in an elimination-style tournament of classic game shows. The other new show, Tuesday Night Book Club begins June 13th. It follows a group of real women who get together every week to discuss their lives.

Fox only brings two shows - over three nights - to the table this summer. Both, unsurprisingly, are returning reality shows. So You Think You Can Dance returned May 31st, and will air on Wednesday and Thursday nights. The second season of Hell's Kitchen begins June 12th. NBC, on the other hand, offers five series. Last Comic Standing returned for a fourth season May 30th. Other competition series are America's Got Talent and Treasure Hunters. With a June 19th debut date, Treasure Hunters has teams searching for hidden treasure. America's Got Talent is a talent competition much like Star Search, with a top prize of $1 million; it starts June 21st with the results show starting July 13th. The lone scripted show from the network is Windfall. Beginning June 8th, it focuses on the 20 winners of a $386 million lottery. Fear Factor begins the burn-off of its final episodes on June 6th, proving once and for all that host Joe Rogan is indeed evil. Plans to air the remaining episodes of Joey and Four Kings appear to have been abandoned.


     


 
 

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