Monday Morning Quarterback Part Two

By BOP Staff

May 17, 2006

Some guy named Jordan used to have trouble with the Pistons, too.

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Drunken skank's film disappoints. Film at eleven.

Kim Hollis: Poseidon was not the only opener this weekend. Lindsay Lohan's Just My Luck opened to $5.7 million. Has five years of being the poster girl for finally caught up with her?

Tim Briody: Much like Tom Cruise last week, I believe America has collectively had it with Ms. Lohan as well.

Reagen Sulewski: They should just send her to Gabor school with Paris Hilton and be done with it.

Kim Hollis: She and Paris used to be friends a long time ago.

Michael Bentley: Actually, I think the Tara Reid career path may be more up her alley.

David Mumpower: If you look at Lohan's career thus far, Mean Girls is the only film she has carried that was not already a known Disney commodity. And even with those, The Parent Trap and Herbie: Fully Loaded were nothing special, both around $65 million earners.

Kim Hollis: And as for Mean Girls, it might have done a lot more for Rachel McAdams' career than it did for Lohan's.

David Mumpower: I agree completely. Rachel McAdams is gaining the reputation as being the actress Lohan was groomed to be, talented and dedicated to her craft.

Joel Corcoran: Kim, that depends on whether you define "career" according to acting ability or press exposure. Lindsay Lohan is either on the tail end of a flame-out or she's setting herself up a future comeback after rehab. Rachel McAdams is taking the safer, but ultimately smarter, route of just being a good actress.

Kim Hollis: And McAdams manages to keep herself off the cover of Us Magazine and out of their What Not to Wear section.

David Mumpower: Also, McAdams is reasonably sure to be sober at any given moment, a huge difference between her and Lohan.

Reagen Sulewski: To a small extent, it was inevitable. It can't be easy to be famous at 16 for being hot and stay sane.

Soccer film disappoints. Dozens shocked.

Kim Hollis: Goal The Dream Begins opened to $1.9 million this weekend. Should the movie have included more kung fu and/or Keira Knightley?

David Mumpower: You know the Simpsons bit that ends with, "Center holds it. Holds it! HOLDS IT!" That's hilarious for a reason. Ordinary soccer is duller than watching televised blackjack.

Reagen Sulewski: Or maybe just have that one Mexican announcer screaming "GOOOOOOAAAALLLLL!" over the entire trailer.

Michael Bentley: I'm going to assume that the movie doesn't have a big melee, started by a bunch of soccer hooligans? That would have only helped.

Joel Corcoran: Cristiano Ronaldo running around shirtless for several minutes at a time would've helped this movie quite a lot.

David Mumpower: Seriously, if an opener can't make the top ten this week, it should be summarily ejected from theaters. We need some sort of theatrical Gong Show to right this ship.

Reagen Sulewski: You just made Warner Bros. cry with that phrase, David.

Kim Hollis: There have been two sequels announced for Goal. What odds do you give that we ever see that third film?

Reagen Sulewski: As much chance as MLS telecasts outperforming NFL telecasts.

Michael Bentley: I still think the movie could be a moderate success in certain communities. And it could very well find a niche with a direct-to-DVD formula, as long as they manage the budget a little better.

David Mumpower: There was a sequel announced to The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension announced during the 1984 film's credits. I expect Buckaroo Banzai versus the World Crime League to be released before Goal 3. Target date: 2112. Movies will be directly downloaded to the cerebral cortex by then.

Kim Hollis: I'm still patiently waiting for Leonard: Part X.

David Mumpower: Or Another Another 48 Hours.

Reagen Sulewski: Weekend at Bernie's 3!

David Mumpower: This time, the groin shots are personal!

Joel Corcoran: This film has decent international appeal and was inexpensive to make, so I'll be the odd man out and say Goal: 3 will be an almost sure thing.


Tom Cruise more popular than George Bush and *only* George Bush

Kim Hollis: Mission: Impossible III fell 49% in its second weekend and has a running total of $85.1 million. Does this stop the bleeding or is this no real improvement?

David Mumpower: Reagen's forecast anticipated it holding better at $27.7 million rather than $24.5 million. Had it done this well, I would feel better about it. At 49% decline, we see that no matter how good the film is, people just don't care enough to watch Tom Cruise.

Reagen Sulewski: I was expecting a few more million this weekend. It's going to fall well behind the other two films in the series, especially when adjusted for inflation. It's a shame since it's actually good.

Kim Hollis: We've been discussing for a while that people will only see "certain films" in movie theaters. The trend seems to be that they'll wait for DVD if nothing special is offered. Obviously, the feeling on MI:III is that they can just wait it out.

Joel Corcoran: MI:III does have something special - Philip Seymour Hoffman playing a bad-ass villian - but that alone won't make it enough of an event for people to see in the theaters.

David Mumpower: The other concern about Mission: Impossible III can be spelled out in this way. The Bourne Supremacy opened to $52.5 million while Mission: Impossible III only managed $47.7 million. The torch has been passed with regards to the premiere spy thriller franchise. The fact that MI3's budget was over double Supremacy's is salt in that still-fresh wound.

Michael Bentley: Daniel Craig has *a lot* of work cut out for him.



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