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Survivor Guatemala Recap

Eating and Sleeping With the Enemy

By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower

November 18, 2005

And the funny thing is that he thinks he looks good!

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Previously on Survivor, something exciting finally happened. Yes, we're as shocked as you are. Of course, it happened at the 57 minute mark of the ninth episode, but still! Former NFL quarterback Gary Hogeboom tossed the equivalent of a Hail Mary after emerging from the pile with the super top secret immunity idol. Sensing that he was probably one of two heads likely to be on the chopping block at Tribal Council, he weighed the reactions of his cohorts when Jeff asked if anyone had uncovered the hidden idol. Gary Hogeboom correctly figured that he had to make a move or miss the playoffs, leaving poor Bobby Jon to wander off to Loserville once again.

Back from Tribal Council, Jamie is already missing Bobby Jon. Without his mortal enemy around for further combat, he has to fill the deep vacuum in his life. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe! He chooses Gary Hogeboom as the new target for his hatred. Apparently, it took Jamie 24 days on the island to realize he's a Redskins fan. He first tries to fan the flames of paranoia by inciting the zookeeper, pointing out that Gary Hogeboom was the person who voted for her. Cindy merely rolls her eyes at this important revelation, which only serves to further infuriate Jamie. He then goes on a nonsensical rant about how Gary had lied somehow. We don't quite understand him, and neither do any of his tribemates. He seems to really mean it, though!

Probst sighting! Hey, if he makes it to the final three, do you think Jamie will get into a feud with Probst, too?

The Reward Challenge is an obstacle course in mud. Really gross, deep, splooshy mud. The contestants are split into two teams of four. Each team must navigate the course, grab a container of corn, and then bring it back to the starting point and dump it into a larger basin. They must keep returning back and forth in pairs until the basin is filled. The teams are divided into Gary Hogeboom, Judd, Stephenie and Danni, with the other side being Jamie, Rafe, Lydia and Cindy.

In the beginning, Rafe and Jamie get off to a pretty good start out ahead of Gary Hogeboom and Judd. However, when Lydia and Cindy set out for their leg, tiny Lydia gets stuck in the mud like she's in quicksand, making it extremely difficult for her to move. In the end, this handicap dooms her team, making Judd, Gary Hogeboom, Steph and Danni the winners of a helicopter ride for an evening in a home where they'll be able to shower and dine on good food. Even more importantly, it positions the four power players together so that they can negotiate for potential final four standing. But the real prize – so incredibly fantastic it can't even be properly valued – is that the four get to spend an evening away from Jamie.

The next segment delineates the difference between the jocks and cheerleaders at Club Med vs. the freaks and geeks left behind at camp. As the helicopter flies over to the house where the challenge winners will be spending their evening, it's easy to see that Judd, Gary Hogeboom, Steph and Danni all genuinely like each other. Steph in particular notes that there are no other people from their camp that she'd rather spend an evening like this with. The two girls, who really do have a lot in common, shower together flirtatiously, while Judd strips naked so that he can wash off the mud from his naughty bits. When they pause to wonder how the losers are feeling...

We cut to Lydia as she gleefully (?) describes the evening the other Survivors must be having without them. She talks about the helicopter and the nice bed and the wonderful food they'll eat, which even makes usually happy-go-lucky Rafe a little edgy for a moment. Lydia, you don't ever see Bartman talking about how awesome it is that the Red Sox won the World Series. Her reaction is nothing compared to Jamie's, though, who has just realized that he's not a member of the cool kids' clique like he thought he was. It's rough realizing that you're just not 09er quality, son.

But wait! It gets worse! When Jamie goes to Rafe to offer him a pact that will get the two of them along with Judd to the final three, Rafe says, "I'll have to think about it." He's not comfortable "giving his word as a man" when he just isn't sure which way the wind is blowing at the moment. Jamie got rejected by a nerd! If Saddam Hussein were added to the camp, he wouldn't even be the least popular guy there! On a serious note, Rafe needs to play his hand very carefully here if he doesn't want to wind up as Ned Beatty in Deliverance.

Next up is a bedtime discussion between the people currently living in the lap of luxury. As they dine on salsa and some sort of chip, Gary Hogeboom finally takes an opportunity to bring up the idea that the four of them should partner up. His notion (as it has been since day one) is that the four strongest people should make it to the end, then fight it out with honor. Danni's onboard with this philosophy and it seems as though Stephenie wants to agree as well. The trouble, of course, is Judd, who already has calculated a game plan in his head – and an admittedly intelligent one at that. This is simply a situation where Carole and Alice get along, but Bob and Ted don't.

In the morning, the best part of waking up, is Folgers in the Survivors' cups. They perform a little taste of six different flavors, all of which the camera is careful to frame in close-up fashion. As the only couple in North America who detests coffee, the product placement is completely lost on us.

There's one thing Lydia doesn't even know she cost the four people back at camp. Gary Hogeboom, Judd, Stephenie and Danni all get to see videotapes from their families. It's a pretty touching moment. As Bill Murray's Scrooged would describe it, it's like Niagara Falls, as most everyone cries for a bit.

Probst welcomes the Survivors to the Immunity Challenge. If you want to picture it, imagine trying to lasso monkeys. Basically, the contestants must navigate a course in which they must untangle themselves from ropes. There are two stages. The first four people to make it out of stage one will move on to a final, where they will have to climb a tower sort of thing while getting out of their rope maze at the same time. Naturally, since this challenge involves brains in additon to brawn, Judd is out. Danni is just too gangly and awkward to have any success, and Lydia is, well, Lydia. Gary Hogeboom gets off to a great start, but the third section of the first leg gets him a little bit confused, allowing Cindy to beat him (literally) by a nose. The final four are Steph, Jamie, Cindy and Rafe. After a few minutes of climbing and some painful-looking rope burn, Ivy Leaguer Rafe emerges as the winner of the challenge.

It's time to play It's Anyone But Gary Hogeboom. Going back to the Deliverance metaphor from earlier, Jamie implies that he will just kill Rafe where he stands if the young man votes against him. Survivor has to up the ante now that Lost has had actual gunplay at the merge of their two tribes. This is why reality television is always inferior to fictional, and also why the lawyers won't allow a body count, no matter how many times Burnett begs.

But wait!

When it comes time for Tribal Council, jury member Bobby Jon strolls in looking like Davy Jones from the Monkees in his silky red shirt and pants. There's the usual fireside discussion about whether you can trust people and who might deserve to go home and so forth, with a brief talk about the glory of the earlier reward. All four winners beam when asked to describe their evening, saying that they truly enjoyed each other's company. Jeff returns after the voting has taken place, and we're stunned to see that for once, a swerve is actually real. Jamie is voted out 6-2, with only himself and Judd voting for Gary Hogeboom. Jamie goes out on a crazy note, yelling out "That's how you vote someone out!" That's fun and all, but the look on Judd's face is absolutely priceless. We speculate that he's going to go ballistic once they get back to camp, and the preview looks to prove us right. On a funny "Final Words" note, Jamie makes note of the fact that he "dragged Lydia" along with him from the beginning and mumbles something about how he's disappointed that she turned evil. If that's the case, Lydia will be spending her evening doing the same thing she does every night: trying to take over the world.


     


 
 

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