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Survivor Guatemala Recap

Surprise Enemy Visit

By David Mumpower and Kim Hollis

October 27, 2005

Watch it Gary 'Hawkins'. She is gonna beat you down!

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Previously on Survivor, Judd flipped out and threatened to eat everyone on his tribe. Well, that's not entirely accurate, but it's close enough. The moral of the story: Judd needs a psychiatric evaluation...and to eat less.

As we begin the episode, Judd attempts to take a conciliatory tone. Those diplomacy skills aren't paying off. His idea of an apology is to indicate that he's glad the Margaret is gone, to acknowledge that he is a hothead, and to point out what a positive influence he normally is at camp. Robert Blake had better damage control. The surprise here is that his sycophant, Jamie, tells the camera that he can't wait to turn Judd into a patsy at the final vote. Mark it on your Survivor calendar: Night 15 is the first time Jamie says anything intelligent.

Over at Yaxha, Bobby Jon grosses us out in record time. Remember last week when we pointed out how stupid it was to run as fast as he could straight into the giant ball? See, it wasn't a smooth sphere. It was jagged. Jagged things cut when you run into them fast. Now, Bobby Jon has a giant oozing sore on his shoulder and he's doing something to it. Thankfully, it's too dark to be able to see exactly what. But we're sure it's completely disgusting. That wound is nasty. If this were a Romero film, Bobby Jon would be fully turned to zombie in another three hours or so.



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Cut to Brandon. He, too, is sporting a series of pus-filled lesions. He quickly points out that Amy also has some of these festering sores. Yaxha should be quarantined by now. This isn't a tribe, it's a leper colony. Normally, the only time you see people with infections like this is when you see them climbing out of the Playboy Mansion Grotto.

It's Probst time, and he's here to introduce the teams to a Reward Challenge that we'll call The Mummy. The good news is that the wrapping can double as bandaging for some people, because God knows they need it. The race will involve four of the tribemates successively wrapping themselves in cloth. The trick is that by the time all four are finished, they will all be wrapped together. At that point, they each must get out of the bonds that holds them and run to the finish line.

Stephenie's strategy of "counter-rotation" seems odd, but it does get Nakum an early lead. In the end, though, it causes them problems due to the irregularity of the wrap. Her team panics and falls on the ground Jack Black style, allowing Yaxha to win rather easily. The prize is a gliding zip-line view of the rainforest along with a chocolate feast. Jerri Manthey would be so jealous.

Amusingly, the zip line aspect of the reward doesn't feel like much of a prize to Amy, who is terrified of heights. As she is forced to descend into the forest, she bursts into tears, making this less of a prize and more of a cruel psychological experiment. After she finishes, she talks about how "great" it was, but we presume she was being held at gunpoint by the Survivor legal team.

Hey, what happens when starving people gorge on chocolate? That's right, they feel like throwing up and need to use the restroom a lot. Trouble is, the forest is fresh out of port-a-potties. As far as rewards go, it's only slightly better than being injected with whatever disease the Yaxha members already have.

While Rafe and Stephenie play with "cards" that they have created using magic markers and leaves, Yaxha makes a surprise visit to their camp to invite them to a pool party. Jamie says, "I ain't going to their pool," demonstrating that he still hasn't forgotten his Great Rope Failure from that particular Reward Challenge. The other members of his tribe overrule him, though. That doesn't stop Jamie from exhibiting the social skills of a young Charles Manson as he bitches and moans about Yaxha the entire way.

The pool reveals an unexpected rift in Nakum. While Steph is a social butterfly, Jamie sits in a corner and stews over his suspicions about other tribemates. The only way Jamie could look more miserable would be if he were at a party watching his ex-girlfriend make out with her new boyfriend(s). If there were a Mr. Congeniality award, he would finish last. Maybe with negative votes.

On the boat ride back to Nakum, Jamie and Steph do in fact get into it a bit. She tells him he's shady and a horrendous person before going into a monologue about how he freaks her out (her words) and she's not going to back down from him. There is a distinct Janet Leigh/Anthony Perkins vibe to their relationship. Don't take a shower, Steph!

We return from a commercial and Bobby Jon is still in the pool, where he notices fish are nibbling on his grotesque wound. He decides to exact revenge by biting back. Don't eat the neon tetras, Bobby Jon! They might be poison! And don't ask us "How poison are they?" When a man tries to eat the fish that are eating him, who's the hunter and who's the prey?

Probst makes his second appearance of the show for the Immunity Challenge. It can best be described as a giant jigsaw puzzle where the pieces weigh 70 pounds apiece. Before the teams can start the puzzle, though, they have to retrieve them from their sandy hiding places. You know those metal detectors guys use on the beach? It's sort of like that, only they might actually find some stuff. Nakum discovers all of their hidden booty (hee hee) first, and everything goes forward in a relatively calm manner until Jamie "accidentally" drops one of the pieces on Steph's shin. Other than that small misstep, Nakum is in control for the bulk of the challenge and emerges victorious. That's two - count 'em - two Immunity Challenges that Stephenie has won now. Buy your canned goods and water while you still can!

It's time to play It's Anybody But Amy. Survivor is not a game for the lame. Her injuries are impossible to ignore and her deteriorating ability could prove to be a major detriment in future challenges. Since there's no guarantee of a merge, keeping strong members around could be very important in the long run. The producers try to swerve us as Amy discusses the potential of voting for Bobby Jon with Danni and Gary. At this point, we cut to Bobby Jon, who says he just wants to make it to the jury, because it would be "a lifelong dream come true." Uh, Bob? The show's only been on for five years. Also, last week, your lifelong dream was to eat the giant sandwich at the state fair. What changed?

Heading into Tribal Council, the producers make with the snake metaphor in a continued attempt to mislead. We're not fooled, though. The snake metaphor is almost as played out as reality television itself. Amy is the one going home tonight, with her vote for Bobby Jon being the only one cast for the young man. But wait! The show isn't over! Probst informs the remaining Yaxha members that they are no longer Yaxha members. They will head to Nakum's camp, where the ten remaining contestants will merge into one new tribe. Hijinks will presumably ensue.


     


 
 

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