How to Spend $20

By Les Winan

September 23, 2005

The girls get Nicollette with the old pie-in-the-face bit yet again

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Taking a look ahead at the week's DVD releases is always dicey for your wallet. Nearly every week, there's a disc that would fit nicely into any size collection. When it comes time to decide what to buy, there are really two determining factors: how much you love the content and the quality of the extra features on the disc. The unreleased studio (film and television) back-catalogue means that every week there's likely something for you.

For complete and total overexposure: Desperate Housewives: The Complete First Season (6-DVD Set) (2004)

If I could wish for anything, it's that Eva Longoria would just shut up. Included on this set are all 23 episodes. Also included are unrated and extended versions of the episodes Who's That Woman, Anything You Can Do, Every Day a Little Death, Impossible, Sunday in the Park with George, and Goodbye for Now. I'm sure that they're way overhyped. Also included are an audio commentary creator Marc Cherry on the pilot and Guilty. I'm sure that's overhyped. In addition, there are more audio commentaries from Cherry and director Larry Shaw on Anything You Can Do, Impossible, and One Wonderful Day. Probably overhyped. Finally, there are select commentaries by Eva Longoria, Felicity Huffman, Marcia Cross, Nicollette Sheridan, and Teri Hatcher on their favorite scenes. These scenes are most likely overhyped. Also on the discs are seven deleted scenes with optional commentary by Cherry; featurettes; bloopers; and, most loathsome, a Oprah Winfrey segment. I'm sure every one of these things is overhyped. Except for Felicity Huffman. She could never be overhyped. Look, you're better off just buying the Sports Night Complete series set.

For people who knew Tom Cruise before the crazy: The Outsiders: The Complete Novel (2-Disc Special Edition) (1983)

Francis Ford Coppola has revisited The Outsiders with a true director's cut. The Outsiders: The Complete Novel features a new restored version of the film with 22 minutes of new footage, including a new beginnning and ending, a new soundtrack score; new introduction and commentary by director Francis Ford Coppola; a new introduction and commentary by Matt Dillon, Ralph Macchio, C. Thomas Howell, Patrick Swayze, Rob Lowe, and Diane Lane. This is all pretty impressive, though like you I wish Tom Cruise had deigned to join in the commentary track and had spent the whole session haranguing everyone else for various Scientology-related things. I guess we'll just have to wait for either the inevitable second disc of The War of the Worlds DVD called "Tom's public meltdown" or for his starring in Battleship: Earth 2. Also included on the disc are ten minutes of additional scenes; a documentary; a casting special including screen tests and auditions; cast members reading selections from the book; and theatrical trailers.

For reminding people that Burt Reynolds still lives: The Longest Yard (Widescreen) (2005)

There are people who think that Adam Sandler is funny (men ages 12-35) and there are people who think that he is not (critics). What that says about the masculinity of critics, I don't know, but I do think that people who refuse to acknowledge that lowbrow humor is actually funny need to remove the lump of coal from their respective asses before it becomes a diamond. The Longest Yard is a remake of the Burt Reynolds "classic", starring Sandler, Chris Rock and others. So lower your expectations drink something and enjoy. Included on the disc are an audio commentary with director Peter Segal; deleted, extended, and alternate Scenes; and, most hilariously, a Nelly music video.

For loving the smell of commerce in the morning: Mallrats (10th Anniversary Edition) (1995)

As Kevin Smith's career has progressed, Mallrats is generally seen as two things: a box office failure and a fan favorite. Sure, people recognized the general low-rent brilliance of Clerks, but with Mallrats, Smith hit a new low: a movie critics and audiences alike hated, but became the rarest of all things – a word-of-mouth video hit. Starting with an unforgettable monologue about a cousin who shoved gerbils up his ass for sexual pleasure, Smith unleashed Jason Lee on the world, leading to ten years of bizarrely charismatic line readings and the best shit-eating grin working in Hollywood. Also given a giant kick in the pants was the career of future Oscar winner Ben Affleck, who gave it his all playing a guy who really, really, really likes anal sex. It's that kind of film.

Now starring in NBC's new comedy My Name is Earl (watch it!), Jason Lee carries the movie, more than making up for the too-straight straight man, J___ London. Also featured are Smith himself, Jason Mewes, Shannen Doherty (in her most likable role ever), Joey Lauren Adams, Michael Rooker and Claire Forlani. The plot doesn't really matter (guy loses girl, guy gets girl back), Smith makes it all work. Mallrats, for me, is one of the few movies I thought was funny at 18 that I still think is funny at 28 (watched Ace Ventura: Pet Detective lately?) and the DVD Pick of the Week.

Kevin Smith and the View Askew crew always produce outstanding DVDs. The original DVD release of Mallrats is the standard that early DVD special editions were and still are measured against. Easily the most entertaining feature on any Smith DVD is the audio commentary track. Solo or (as on this disc) in a group, Smith's commentary tracks are always enlightening, interesting and funny. Any self-glorification is reliably replaced by self-deprecation and mockery of what is on screen. Mallrats, even ten years down the road, may still have the best audio commentary in the history of the medium. It's that good and funny. Unfortunately, unlike on the Clerks X disc, there isn't a new audio commentary to go with the new version of the film, but why try to match the perfection of the first commentary track (featuring Smith, Affleck, Lee, Mewes, producer Scott Mosier and View Askew historian Vincent Pereira). Also included are outtakes; "The Erection of an Epic - The Making of Mallrats"; Mallrats Cast Reunion Q & A; A Conversation with Kevin Smith & Scott Moiser; Production Photographs; and a featurette: Mallrats: The Reunion. It's a terrific package that's worth buying even if you own the first edition.

September 20, 2005

The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D (2005)
An Angel at My Table (Criterion Collection) (1990)
Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus (2005)
Battlestar Galactica: Season One (5-DVD Set) (2004)
Blue Demon (2004)
Born Into Brothels (20045)
Brothers (2004)
The Cardinal (1963)
Cowards Bend the Knee (2003)
Desperate Housewives: The Complete First Season (6-DVD Set) (2004)
Dirty Shield (2004)
Dolls (1987)
Dolly Dearest (1992)
Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood (Unrated Collector's Edition) (1996)
Ethan Mao (2004)
The Fallen Ones (2005)
From the Earth to the Moon (5-DVD Signature Collection) (1998)
Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf (1985)
Inside Deep Throat (Rated NC-17) (2004)
Inside Deep Throat (Rated R) (2004)
It's All Gone Pete Tong (2004)
Jack O'Lantern (2004)
Lady in White (1988)
The Longest Yard (Full Frame) (2005)
The Longest Yard (Widescreen) (2005)
Mallrats (10th Anniversary Edition) (1995)
Masculin Feminin (Criterion Edition) (1966)
Mindhunters (2004)
My Dad the Rockstar: Dad's Debut (2003)
Naked (Criterion Edition) (1993)
The Pretender: The Complete Second Season (4-DVD Set) (1997)
The Outsiders: The Complete Novel (2-Disc Special Edition) (1983)
See Arnold Run (2005)
Shackles (2005)
Siblings (2004)
The Smurks (2004)
SpongeBob Squarepants: Absorbing Favorites (2005)
Turtles Can Fly (2004)
Witches of the Caribbean (2005)


     


 
 

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