TiVoPlex

By John Seal

June 6, 2005

Craftily disguised as in quill pens, Li's army prepares to spill ink--er, blood

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From the obscure to the obscurest to the merely overlooked or underappreciated; they all have a home in the TiVoPlex! All times Pacific.

Tuesday 06/07/05

12:45am HBO
Naked (1993 GB): Actor David Thewlis seems to be winking perpetually at the audience; witness his sly turn as the Hospitaler in this year’s otherwise fairly dreadful Kingdom of Heaven. In Naked, however, Thewlis gazes forth with a withering dour glower that will have most viewers squirming uncomfortably in their seats for the ensuing two hours-plus. In fact, in the vast pantheon of unpleasant and generally clueless film characters, David Thewlis’ Johnny must rank close to the top. This is Mike Leigh’s most brutal and downbeat film; if you are disturbed by the sight of amoral men beating their women, you’ll want to give it a miss (If you’re not disturbed, please seek help). Either way, this is a terrific film with an amazing performance by Thewlis and the first major role for the incredibly talented and sorely missed Katrin Cartlidge. Also airs at 3:45am.

5:35am Starz! In Black
See You in Hell, Blind Boy (1999 USA): Honors for best title of the week must go to this documentary about director/comic artist/academic George Pratt’s travels to the Mississippi Delta in search of the grave of blues musician Mississippi John Hurt. Pratt, who currently teaches Communication Arts at Virginia Commonwealth University, also explores the Delta roots of the folk/blues idiom as well as the sharecropping society from which it sprang. The winner of the Best Documentary prize at the 1999 New York International Film & Video Festival, See You in Hell, Blind Boy also airs 6/10 at 2:20pm.

1:30pm IFC
Charming Billy (1999 USA): Loosely based on the infamous case of Charles Whitman, the Texas Tower killer whose 1966 shooting spree was first recreated in Peter Bogdanovich’s superb Targets (1968), Charming Billy features Michael Hayden as everyman killer Billy Starkman. Billy’s an average Joe with a family that doesn’t understand him, an unfulfilling job, and a barrel-load of angst that overflows in an outburst of gun-nut rage one day. Though this shot-in-Illinois indie can’t match the power of Bogdanovich’s feature - it’s missing Boris Karloff, after all! - it’s still an impressive piece of work, featuring an effective score by David Barkley, a good performance by character actor Chelcie Ross as Starkman’s remote father, and a trim 80-minute running time that won’t leave you bored.

Wednesday 06/08/05

9:55am Flix
Caveman (1981 USA): This is a wretched film, but it hasn’t been on premium cable in a while and I’m holding out some hope that Flix will be airing it wide-screen. Not that that will improve matters much; Caveman is awful no matter what aspect ratio you view it in. Ringo Starr, whose acting career never developed much after he sleepwalked his way through the off-kilter psychedelic comedy The Magic Christian, plays the titular troglodyte, a crude cave-dweller who lusts for glamorous cave babe Barbara Bach. Co-starring Avery Schreiber, Richard Moll, Dennis Quaid, and the eternally annoying Shelley Long, this made-in-Mexico disaster is crude, rude, impolite, and simply not very funny. Caveman was savaged by the critics and fared poorly at the box office, but in happier news, Bach and Starr were married after production wrapped and remain wed to this day. Also airs 6/13 at 1:30pm.

5:30pm Starz!
Hero (2002 HK): Apologies for inadvertently overlooking Hero’s American television debut in last week’s TiVoPlex. This film raked in a remarkable $53,000,000 in US cinemas when it finally got a Stateside release late last year, an impressive feat for any foreign-language feature, especially one helmed by Zhang Yimou, a serious director whose gorgeous but leisurely-paced dramas (Raise the Red Lantern, The Road Home) are usually more at home in urban art-houses than middle American multiplexes. Cleverly (if somewhat inaccurately) marketed by Miramax as a martial arts epic in the style of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Hero’s take was bolstered by the presence of Jet Li, a marginal but still credible box office draw in the United States. Li plays a rascal who comes to the court of the King of Qin, eager to receive a reward for killing off three assassins (Tony Leung, Maggie Cheung, and Donnie Yen) intent on shortening the king’s life, and by extension his reign. As with all Zhang films, Hero exhibits stunning production design and was artfully shot by the great Chris Doyle, but may prove to be a bit of a letdown for those anticipating non-stop chop-socky action. Also co-starring the beautiful Zhang Ziyi, this is one of those rare instances of cinema kismet where marketing, art, and sheer luck amply reward the efforts of the filmmakers. I’m pretty sure this doesn’t deserve its place in IMDb’s top 250, but it’s certainly an impressive and superbly crafted film. Also airs at 8:30pm and at 7:50pm and 10:50pm on 6/13.

Thursday 06/09/05

7am Sundance
Forbidden Wedding (2004 BRA): Unbelievably, there are still times when the unbending dogma of religious fundamentalists still has the power to shock me. Case in point: Forbidden Wedding, which investigates the Catholic Church’s role in denying wedding rites to a Brazilian couple. Why? Well, gosh, the groom was a paraplegic, and therefore physically unable to conceive children with his bride! And if there’s one thing the Church can’t stand, it’s a man who can’t get it up, as its never-ending supply of randy priests amply demonstrates. Crippled since the age of 15 by a stray bullet, the groom, Edir Antonio de Brito, has undergone an astonishing 25 operations in the past 32 years and is now one of Brazil’s leading disability advocates. Of course, personal courage and a deep and abiding love for another person shouldn’t be allowed to trump Canon Law, right?

9:40pm Starz!
Light Sleeper (1992 USA): Regular readers know I’ve got a thing for writer/director Paul Schrader, so it gives me great pleasure to report that Light Sleeper - one of the least known of Schrader’s films - returns to television this evening. Willem Dafoe - who always delivers a good performance, even when saddled with lousy (cough Spider-Man cough) material - plays John LeTour, a Manhattan drug courier working for upscale coke dealer Ann (Susan Sarandon) whilst trying to rekindle a love affair with an old junkie gal pal (Dana Delany). The middle-aged LeTour is, of course, tired of the rat race, and is looking for a way to break out of his cycle of dependency. Bathed in cold blues by cinematographer Ed Lachman (The Limey, Far From Heaven) and immaculately scored by Michael Been, Light Sleeper is one of Schrader’s most effective tragic character studies, and one well worth acquainting yourself with if by some chance you missed it in theaters 13 years ago. Jane Adams, Sam Rockwell, and David Spade appear in brief supporting roles. Also airs 6/10 at 1:40am.

Friday 06/10/05

1am Showtime
What Alice Found (2003 USA): Another dark drama for those who can’t get enough ennui in their lives, What Alice Found features Emily Grace as the titular fresh-faced sweet young thing whose Florida road trip diverts her along the rocky side road of truck-stop prostitution. Shot on a shoestring (as well as on digital video), the film features a remarkable performance from Judith Ivey as a Good Samaritan who moonlights as Alice’s pimp. Scheduled to air in wide-screen, What Alice Found will make you think twice about getting roadside help from kindly strangers. Also airs at 4am and on Showtime 2 on 6/12 at 1:25am.

1pm Turner Classic Movies
In the Good Old Summertime (1949 USA): I'm not much of a fan of musicals, but In the Good Old Summertime - recently screened by yours truly at Oakland’s fabulous art deco movie palace, The Paramount Theater - really is quite enjoyable, with a well-written script and an engaging cast. The only drawbacks are the less-than-memorable songs, including one of the worst Christmas ditties you'll ever hear, and the somewhat inappropriate title: most of the story takes place during the winter months! Cast-wise, Van Johnson and Judy Garland make a marvelous screen couple and Judy does her best with the meager tunes. The film also benefits from a surprisingly large role for Buster Keaton, who even gets to show off his unsurpassed physical comedy skills in a few all-too-brief scenes. This is a typically glossy MGM production and will surely please all fans of the lead actors. If you get a chance to see it in a cinema, note that the print utilized by the Paramount appears to have been newly struck and looks gorgeous. If you’re only able to catch it on TCM, odds are it’ll still look pretty good.

5am Fox Movie Channel
The Adventures of Hajji Baba (1954 USA): Ah, those innocent days of yesteryear, when Arabs flew around on magic carpets, dined in opulence, and hung out in the harem. Those days are long gone, of course, but you can relive them with this rarely-seen Fox fantasy about a young man (would-be matinee idol John Derek) who, thanks to a case of mistaken identity, gets up close and personal with a beautiful princess (Elaine Stewart). This is CinemaScope fluff of the highest order and features a fun cast of recognizable faces, including Paul Picerni, Thomas Gomez, Amanda “Miss Kitty” Blake, and Claude Akins. Turn off the old mind, relax and float down this frivolous stream of Hollywood light entertainment. And in case the film still strikes you as being too realistic, Nat “King” Cole’s theme song - on heavy rotation throughout the film - should soon correct your impression.


Saturday 06/11/05

5pm Fox Movie Channel
The World’s Greatest Lover (1977 USA): Gene Wilder fans of the world, fire up your remote! One of your man’s rare directorial efforts returns to television this evening, and while it’s not one of his best films, it’s yet to receive a DVD release and has been hard to see in recent years. Wilder plays Rudy Valentine, a baker who moves to Hollywood to participate in a contest to find America’s next great silent-movie matinee idol. Once in Tinsel Town, however, his mousy wife (Carol Kane) falls in love with the REAL Valentino, and further complications ensue. The World’s Greatest Lover may not be a classic, but it has enough moments to please the actor’s many fans - even considering the presence of ham Dom DeLuise eating up an excessive amount of screen time - and is being aired in wide-screen this evening. Look for Danny DeVito in an early, blink-and-you’ll-miss-him performance in a screen-test scene.

7:30pm Fox Movie Channel
B.S. I Love You (1971 USA): Perhaps it should have been released simply as B.S., because this romantic comedy with a Sexual Revolution twist is a profoundly unfunny misfire. I’m including it in this week’s column because it’s unavailable on home video and hasn’t been on the small screen in quite a while. Bland Peter Kastner plays a TV ad man who sleeps his way to the top, hopping between the boudoirs of his boss, her daughter, and his old girlfriend. Directed and written by TV specialist Steven Hilliard Stern (whose monster truck thriller Rolling Vengeance must be seen to be believed, and who may have bared too much of his soul in the film’s rather icky screenplay), this is only for bad movie completists such as myself. All others can safely flip the bird to B.S. I Love You.


Monday 06/13/05

12:15pm Sundance
The Spirit of Annie Mae (2002 CAN): Annie Mae Pictou Aquash was a Native American activist who was assassinated in 1975. Whilst many suspect the involvement of the FBI and/or a rogue member of the radical American Indian Movement in the murder, this film doesn’t attempt to solve the mystery of her death, but prefers to focus on the work she accomplished in her 30 brief years of life in her native Canada and on the res in South Dakota. A tireless fighter for the rights of indigenous peoples, Aquash’s memory burns brighter thanks to this excellent documentary, which won the Best Documentary prize at the Great Plains Film Festival.


     


 
 

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