A-List: Swag
By Jason Dean
June 7, 2005
The dictionary definition has swag as goods acquired by unlawful means - a definition of which I was generally aware; however, I was kind of surprised that there was not any type of secondary definition for what I had in mind for this column. Using some of the other slang online definitions I was able to find a straight and to-the-point definition: Promotional merchandise. One of the fun things about being associated with the movie exhibition business is that occasionally some fun free stuff comes along. Even if it’s not always fun, it’s still at least free. There’s the more common but at least functional stuff such as T-shirts and hats that seem almost obligatory for any decent-sized release but this column is about some of the more unique stuff that I’ve been lucky enough to see or even luckier to obtain.
I should make a note here that since I know the type of requests we receive in our feedback, this is about as lucky and as close I’ve ever gotten and will ever get to the movies other than buying my ticket just like the rest of you. No, I can’t get you in contact with studios directly. No, I don’t know how you can reach your favorite star. More to the point of this column, I don’t know how you can get your own swag, nor am I willing to part with mine. You could try eBay but the availability inventory isn’t quite what it was as the studios are actively patrolling the site for those violating the do not sell the Swag rules.
Madagascar
Starting with movies currently in release, I have an item that I don’t believe is a true exclusive piece of swag but it was free and that’s a talking Penguin for Madagascar. Standing about eight inches tall, if you press his chest, nearly all of the movie dialogue is available on a phrase-by-phrase basis. “Don’t give me excuses; give me results!” “Just smile and wave, boys. Just smile and wave” “Cute and cuddly, boys. Cute and cuddly.” I think there are about a half dozen in all. I was looking forward to Madagascar since seeing the trailers and then even more so after receiving this toy. See, one of my favorite bit movie characters are the penguins from Mary Poppins and I’m happy to say that after seeing Madagascar, the penguins lived up to my hopes of being more evil but every bit as charismatic.
There’s Something About Mary
On the mysterious upon initial receipt but completely genius side of things were the items received in advance for There’s Something About Mary. The press kit had a cover that looked like a pair of beige pants complete with zipper. The really perfect item was a bottle of some mysterious milky liquid that had a promo label of There’s Something About Mary hair gel. Keep in mind these were received at least a couple of weeks before I was able to see the film. Upon seeing the movie, the punchline was delivered and the ewwww factor of the hair gel went up exponentially.
Ravenous
Speaking of ewwww, there was the classic press kit for Ravenous. In addition to slightly nauseating medical text-like pictures, it became apparent if one took the time to read what was supposed to be handwritten text in the margins, the background and filler pages of the press kit, it was a...cookbook.
Monkeybone
It always seems necessary to explain to other people what movie this Monkey swag came from.I really liked the movie but apparently that was just me. This particular item is just insane beyond belief in how it works. It has a voice chip and will recite dialogue; however, true to the low brow nature of some of the humor of the film, the activation point is reached by taking one’s finger and inserting in a certain hole. I’ll just leave it at that.
X2: X-Men United
Some items are rather commonplace but are simply perfect due to movie and certain plot points. Such is the case of the chess set received promoting X2. I’m fully confident that one can purchase the glass board and plastic piece set. It probably won't have the etched X2, but in general the item is just a commonly available item with a logo on it. However, given the no-metal aspect of Magneto’s cell and the closing shots of the original X-Men movie with the principals playing chess, to me it’s an extraordinary item and one of my favorites.
Down With Love
In a similar fashion, I love the pair of plastic martini glasses for Down With Love. Completely going with the period and exaggeration of the movie, not only are they martini glasses, they actually light up with neon-like lighting in the stems.
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
There are the items that are generally available but are cool cause they are free. The pewter, limited edition Naboo Starfighter for Episode I is a perfect example. I believe that they were generally available but there’s no way that I’d ever pay for one.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
Finally to wrap up, there’s the truly cool stuff. These is a terrific items from a great movie and believed to be swag and not generally for sale. For example, there’s the watch for the Pirates of the Caribbean. It's perfectly stated with the classic logo, has cool packaging and top of all that, the watch has one of those quirky things that no one would ever purchase on their own. The face of the watch lifts up to reveal a compass underneath.
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