How to Spend $20
By David Mumpower
November 17, 2004
Taking a look ahead at the week's DVD releases is always dicey for your wallet. Nearly every week, there's a disc that would fit nicely into any size collection. When it comes time to decide what to buy, there are really two determining factors: how much you love the content and the quality of the extra features on the disc.
The massive unreleased studio (film and television) back-catalogue means that every week there's likely something for every film fan. So before you think to yourself, "I don’t have brain damage, but I’ll watch Kangaroo Jack: G'Day USA!, an animated film based on the movie, more than once!" stop; ask yourself, "Why!?" and then check to see if Kangaroo Jack: G'Day USA! (or your disc of choice) is one of the weekly BOP DVD recommendations.
For fans of Cheers who have had trouble letting go: Frasier: the Final Season
Redefining typecasting, Kelsey Grammer played the same role for 20+ seasons of network television. The character of Dr. Frasier Crane was originally introduced to create conflict between presumably predestined lovers Sam and Diane. Due to the immediate disliking prima donna actress Shelly Long had for both the character of Frasier and the actor playing him, a decision was made by the producers of Cheers to torture her indefinitely by making Dr. Crane a recurring character and, eventually, a permanent cast member.
As fate would have it, the decision paid off for the show and later NBC as a network. Grammer's natural tendency toward erudite narcissism was a perfect counterbalance to the Joe Sixpack nature of the rest of the Cheers cast. Even better, when that legendary program had finally run its course, he was an obvious choice to anchor a sitcom. With the introduction of a somehow more annoying patrician younger brother, Niles, and a mismatched everyman father, the foundation was in place to extend the Cheers franchise from an amazing 12 seasons to a historically unprecedented 23 season run.
The Emmy Awards also dropped off a dump truck full of Best Such and Such honors to Grammer, David Hyde Pierce, several guest stars and the show itself. The critical, financial, and populist accomplishments are all the more impressive when compared to the current spinoff, Joey, a shadow of its predecessor, Friends. Does anyone honestly believe that monstrosity will duplicate Frasier's feat by still being on the air in 2014? Or win a Best Comedy Award?
Frasier's last season is not one I watched (I quit around season six after all the Cheers cameos had been tapped). Presumably, it involves various misunderstandings which lead to Niles making funny faces while offering up shamelessly vaudevillian pratfalls. Daphne may or may not be involved in these countless humiliations. Meanwhile, long suffering father Martin Crane will likely roll his eyes innumerable times and his trustworthy companion Eddie the dog may or may not do something priceless. The final season of the series is not lacking for star power. Laura Linney shows up for the last few episodes as a romantic foil and possibly even a happy ending for Frasier.
For loyal Firefly fans and the small segment of stubborn Henna-tattooed vixens who refuse to acknowledge the painful truth about how Buffy's UPN run went: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 7
For five seasons, Buffy the Vampire Slayer was one of the most inventive, imaginative and intellectual shows on television. Sporting a caustic wit and a never-ending drive to surprise, the tales of a do-gooder crew of demon fighters fronted by a cheerleader named Buffy never failed to entertain. Then, show creator Joss Whedon, one of the most talented people in all of entertainment, made a pair of simultaneous missteps. The first was to move the show from its home network to UPN, a competitor willing to pay more for the same series. The other was to launch a third series while already juggling Buffy and its spinoff, Angel.
The result was that Angel's quality grew inconsistent, Whedon's new baby, Firefly, received heinous treatment from its exhibitor, Fox, and Buffy went to hell. Ignoring a sensational musical episode in season six, the body of the two seasons on UPN were disasteriffic.
Season six was so unfocused as to have the Big Bad be a trio of sci-fi/fantasy freaks. Coming on the heels of notable villains such as The Master, the Mayor, a two-time slayer named Spike, and a goddess named Glory, the trio were a stillborn story that never could have developed anyway.
Seeking to change all of this, the final season offers a mystical enemy known as The First. The shape-shifting entity was able to assume the form of anyone who had died, even the titular heroine herself (who has died twice). As the story unfolded, an event unrelated to the Buffyverse liberated the show from its storytelling morass. Firefly was creating a fledgling superstar in Nathan Fillion, who portrayed the captain of a ship named Serenity. When Fox pulled the plug at mid-season, Joss Whedon found himself with a rising talent in need of work in Fillion and a show in need of salvation in Buffy. He deftly combined the two, allowing Fillion to show up for the last quarter of Buffy's season as an sadistic preacher who seemed to be ripped straight out of the pages of a comic book named...well....Preacher.
The presence of Nathan Fillion alone is enough to recommend the final season of Buffy albeit with a caveat. His arrival is not enough to save the show from an absurdly self-indulgent finale which attempts to celebrate sexual empowerment. Instead, it winds up being a mess of ill-conceived zeitgeist and displays more than a little bit of pettiness to an actress who had become a problem child on the set (no, not the one you would expect). Buffy the Vampire Slayer, one of the finest shows in the history of television, went out with a whimper instead of a bang.
The development of an inscrutable villain played by a tremendous talent is enough to redeem its last season in my eyes, but your mileage may vary.
For people who want to know what happened in the days before the Wonder Twins activated: Smallville Season 3
I watched my first episode of this show just last night. An incredibly hot Native American woman and part-time lycanthrope kept hitting on this kid whose dad is a Duke of Hazzard and whose best friend is a menacing dude in desperate need of Propecia. The show comes highly recommended, but I strongly suspect that the people telling me to watch it have Green Lantern decoder rings that they wear when they think no one is watching.
After one episode, I am on the fence about watching any more of it, but co-star Kristen Kreuk is hysterical in that Don't Tell Scotty scene from Eurotrip. That might be enough to give it another shot. Unless the Native American girl is appearing on something on another channel.
For Erin Gray stalkers who have not given up hope of seeing what lines beneath the silver spandex...: Buck Rodgers in the 25th Century
If you are anything like me, you vividly remember the Christmas when you asked for an Adam/Colecovision computer. You had that moment of unbearable excitement as you tore open the box, plugged in the system, and loaded the tape drive with your Buck Rodgers videogame. Soon afterward, you went to the store, complained that the computer had eaten your tape, asked for an exchange, went home with a Commodore 64, sought comfort in the nurturing TLC of Zork I and tried to suppress the undying bitterness from what would never be in the 25th century. Come on, that cannot have been just me.
As a small child, this was a show I watched because...well, it had rocket ships and ray guns. Plus, even as a kid, I deducted that Erin Gray made me feel tingly in ways I would not understand for several more years. Watching Buck Rodgers now, it is laughably bad, but for children of the 1970s, the nostalgia factor might still be there such that owning this compendium of all things Twiki might be a worthwhile investment. And, if that is the case, who am I to judge? I still anxiously await the time when Automan and The Greatest American Hero get the Deluxe Box Set treatment.
For Tara Reid and the NFL Players Association: Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice
In between botched augmentation surgical procedures, Reid has been working her way through NFL starters on the East Coast such as Jeremy Shockey, Tom Brady and Peter Brady look-alike Kyle Boller. My mind naturally wanders to loose women such as herself as I discuss this late 1960s anthem to the growing free love/swingers lifestyle. If you have yet to view this Paul Mazursky classic, the sales pitch is simple. Why watch Trading Spouses, Wife Swap, or any of the other 742 suggestive reality shows in this vein which make empty promises of ribald bedroom behavior? Instead, you can see hot Dyan Cannon on Elliott Gould and Robert Culp action. Before you protest, try to remember that they looked at least marginally better 35 years ago.
For Parents Who Have Already Given Up Hope for Their Children: Yu-Gi-Oh!
The latest Pokemon rip-off was a box office disaster, failing to make $20 million in domestic receipts. The problem was that the animated film was released a good 18 months too late to capitalize on a brief period of popularity for the series before kids grew wise to it. While I do not think the trading card "collect 'em all" phenomenon Pokemon created will ever completely go away, the bloom is undeniably off the rose. If your kid asks for this, my suggestion is to distract them with candy until such a time as you can buy them a Nintendo DS. You simply can not must not shall not let this poison infiltrate your familial compound. Buy a panic room and hide the kids in it if need be to keep your children cleansed and pure.
For easily confused Orlando Bloom fans (which I presume is most of them): Elf
The BOP staff as a unit loves this movie in deeply profound ways. I myself like Will Ferrell, Zooey Deschanel and Peter Dinklage. In point of fact, I like the latter two people a lot. But for whatever reason I hate this movie the way that George Steinbrenner hates Curt Schilling. I still vividly recall sitting in there disgusted by the sloppy "He's tall and they are short!" humor as everyone else in the audience (including my date) proceeded to laugh as if they were watching Caddyshack for the first time. The only logical explanation I have deduced in the interim is that some super-villain introduced a dastardly form of laughing gas into the theater ventilation system while I was out in the lobby buying Sweet Tarts. From my perspective, the worst part of this is that I still date that same girl, so I know that I am doomed to annual viewings of this as Christmas approaches. It's stuff exactly like this which makes the suicide rate shoot up in December.
For fans of the videogame who naively presume the movie must be good as well: The Chronicles of Riddick
As a huge fan of Pitch Black, I was stunned by the announcement of the budget for this sequel. After all, considering what they were able to do with minimal financing, ramping up the set designs should lead to a sci-fi epic for the ages, right? Right?
Alas, no. Not even close. Not even a little bit.
Comparing Pitch Black to the Chronicles of Riddick demonstrates the power of constraints. When an artist is forced to make more difficult decisions, a larger amount of forethought is placed into requisites for success. Conversely, when a producer can simply throw money at a problem, well...we get Riddick. Adding sublime talent such as Dame Judi Dench and Thandie Newton is fantastic...as long as there is a definite plan for how to utilize them. Not only does that not happen in Riddick but their usage is best defined as roughly equivalent to employing the Hope Diamond as a paperweight. You could take any 65-year-old blue-haired librarian and put her in Dench's role and nobody would notice a difference. It's tragic, really.
Normal Hollywood convention these days is for a studio to create a fantastic movie and attach a lousy videogame license to it. In the case of Riddick, the reverse has been done. A lot of money has been wasted on the movie production while a truly sensational videogame has been created for the Xbox. It's the success of this game that is championing talk of a sequel to the movie franchise. While there is historic relevance in such a feat, it's also a significant damnation of The Chronicles of Riddick as a film. If you must buy something Vin Diesel related, pick the videogame instead of the flick. Better yet, read the DVD selection below and pick that up.
For everyone with a pulse...: Iron Giant
At some point, the BOP staff is going to run out of superlatives for this animated triumph. The target date for this is roughly 2012. For those of you keeping score at home, we selected The Iron Giant the number one overlooked classic of the past 15 years. And I have it on good authority that we are going to laud it as one of the ten best films of the 1990s in a few weeks as well. You, the readers, apparently agree with us as you recently picked it over all the films in the Pixar library as the best Brad Bird/Pixar movie made (prior to The Incredibles), as it narrowly edged out Finding Nemo.
Sensing that the time is finally right to celebrate the glory of the movie, Warner Home Video has stepped up to the plate with a dynamite package. The features include commentary from the auteur himself, Brad Bird, animator Tony Fucile, supervising animator Steven Markowski, and Story Department Head Jeff Lynch. Presumably, much of their discussion will be gushing praise of Bird for crafting a retro science fiction yarn that deftly infuses a theme of ideology being more powerful than a never-ending arsenal of weapons.
If all the talking is not your cup of tea, there is something else that makes this purchase automatic for fans of the movie. The Iron Giant Special Edition DVD includes 18 minutes of new footage from deleted scenes. Frankly, if you have seen the movie and that alone doesn't sell you, I don't want to know you.
The Iron Giant is a powerful tale of compassion, personal growth, redemption and ultimately sacrifice. Hidden in a genteel package of boys will be boys shenanigans involving a lonely kid and the 50 foot tall friend he finds in the forest is a message about hope, faith, and destiny. The Iron Giant offers a degree of wisdom the likes of which has not been seen in cineplexes in the five years since its release. Already, there have been attempts to turn this timeless movie into an annual Thanksgiving classic, and BOP celebrates such efforts. If you have not had the pleasure of discovering The Iron Giant, our staff implores you...nay...begs you from bended knee to treat yourself to this DVD purchase right this second.
November 16, 2004
Aragami: The Raging God of Battle (2003)
The Beast (3-Disc Special Edition) (1975)
The Bird People of China (1998)
Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice (1969)
Buck Rogers in the 25th Century: The Complete Series (5-DVD Set) (1979)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Seven (6-DVD Set) (2002)
The Chronicles of Riddick (Full Frame) (2004)
The Chronicles of Riddick (Widescreen) (2004)
Dog Years (1997)
Elf (2003)
Eloise at Christmastime (2003)
Fanny and Alexander (2-Disc Criterion Edition) (1983)
Fanny and Alexander (5-Disc Criterion Edition) (1983)
The First Snow of Winter (1999)
Foul Play (1978)
Frasier: The Final Season (4-DVD Set) (2003)
He Sees You When You're Sleeping (2002)
The Hebrew Hammer (2003)
I'll Sleep When I'm Dead (2003)
Jimmy Neutron: Attack of the Twonkies (2004)
Kangaroo Jack: G'Day USA! (2004)
Lady in the Box (2001)
Late Night Shopping (2001)
Lethal Dose (2003)
National Lampoon's Holiday Reunion (2003)
No Vacancy (1999)
Pee-wee's Playhouse Vol. 1 (5-DVD Set) (1986)
Pee-wee's Playhouse Vol. 2 (5-DVD Set) (1986)
The Pickle (1993)
Promises (2001)
Ragtime (1981)
The Saddest Music in the World (2004)
Saint Sinner (2002)
Short Cuts (Criterion Edition) (1993)
Simple Revenge (2003)
Smallville: The Complete Third Season (6-DVD Set) (2003)
Wetherby (1985)
A Wrinkle in Time (2003)
Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie (2004)
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