How to Spend $20
By Les Winan
August 11, 2004
Taking a look ahead at the week's DVD releases is always dicey for your wallet. Nearly every week, there's a disc that would fit nicely into any size collection. When it comes time to decide what to buy, there are really two determining factors: how much you love the content and the quality of the extra features on the disc.
As a result, decisions will be totally subjective (I bought the full run of the unjustly canceled ABC dramedy Sports Night, no matter that the discs are featureless, The Criterion Collection edition of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is a disc I had been dreaming of for years). The massive unreleased studio (film and television) back-catalogue means that every week there's likely something for everyone. So before you think to yourself, "It’s not a complete season of The Cosby Show, but I’ll watch Bill Cosby, Himself more than once!" stop; ask yourself, "Why!?" and then check to see if Bill Cosby, Himself (or your disc of choice) is one of the weekly BOP DVD recommendations.
For trying desperately to make this release more exciting than it actually is: Dorm Daze (Unrated) (2003)
Did you know that the movie Dorm Daze was an instant classic?!?!? IT WAS! Reviewers and audiences everywhere rejoiced at the clever, subversively satirical look at the life of college students living in dorms! The film is currently in its 45th week in the top ten-grossing films at the box office, with no sign of an end to the record-breaking grosses ($876 million domestically, and counting)! People love the clever name of the film! None of that is true, but you’d think so, considering the treatment this film is getting on DVD. I mean, not every film can muster up a total box office gross of $56,127, meaning it never even registered on our site’s database of releases. Yet for some reason, the Dorm Daze DVD (a film that starred nobody you’ve ever heard of, or ever will) features a massive amount of extra features (but somehow I can’t get a good DVD release of The Game, starring Michael Douglas and Sean Penn? Or an audio commentary from Steven Spielberg? Are you kidding me?). If you are inexplicably drawn to this future bargain bin disc, you’ll find an audio commentary with directors David and Scott Hillenbrand and editor Dave O'Brien; featurettes; deleted scenes; a gag reel; and, most impressively, the original theatrical trailer. Now, here’s my question, if the original theatrical trailer got you $56,127 in box office, what makes you think it’s worth including? Second question: is it me, or does anyone else think that it cost more than $56,127 to produce this DVD?
For taking the whole “TV-on-DVD” thing one step too far: Alf: Season One (4-DVD Set) (1986)
Okay, Alf? Really? Was that necessary? I’m all for television shows being released on DVD, but shouldn’t they have at least some redeeming quality? I mean, if Growing Pains is released, fans can see a young Leonardo DiCaprio…Punky Brewster would let people see what Soleil Moon Frye must look like post-breast reduction, Family Ties could show off pre-Spin City Michael J. Fox, but Alf? Really?
For further proof of the karmic comeuppance heading Ben Stiller’s direction: Envy (2004)
I remember seeing the first trailer for this in roughly 1986, so that tells you about how long this massive bomb of a movie sat on shelves. Ben Stiller deserves this. People clearly grew tired of seeing him in the same two roles (subdued everyman, over-the-top crazy guy with odd accent) and have begun punishing him (Along Came Polly, anyone?). It’s a shame that his more-talented (Rachel Weisz, Jack Black, Christopher Walken, Jennifer Aniston, that ferret) co-stars in those films are being punished as well, but that’s just the price that must be paid, I guess. Fittingly, this disc has no features; I just mentioned it so I could crap on Ben Stiller for a few minutes.
For everyone who really wants to know what Bow Wow thinks of the cinematic stylings of a Cedric the Entertainer vehicle: Johnson Family Vacation (2004)
If I was ever to star in a movie, I would want to be known as Les the Mediocre Actor. I think that Cedric should change his name to Cedric the Occasionally Entertaining. If you decide to take a look at this DVD (or are a huge Bow Wow fan), you’ll find an audio commentary with Cedric the Entertainer and Bow Wow, director Christopher Erskin, producer Eric C. Rhone, and writers Todd R. Jones and Earl Richey Jones. Not bad, but again, why is a movie like this getting such a nice DVD set? Also included are outtakes, a documentary and deleted scenes.
For yet another entry in the whole “people love vampires” canon: The Lost Boys (2-Disc Special Edition) (1987)
If ever in a trivia contest, you get asked “what vampire movie starred a former boyfriend of Julia Roberts, both Coreys and the grandfather from The Gilmore Girls?”, the answer is The Lost Boys. In addition, it’s directed by the man who ruined Batman for the masses, Joel Schumacher. But the film has a special place in many people’s hearts. If you decide to pick up this tale of vampires in a small town, you’ll be treated to an audio commentary with Schumacher; featurettes; photo galleries; extra scenes and other assorted features.
For admitting that this is the greatest movie of all time: The Prince & Me (2004)
Maybe I’m slow, but did anyone else notice that this is being released the same week the The Princess Diaries 2 comes out? Clever timing. All of the princess-crazy pre-teens will definitely run out and buy this! As will I, for it is the greatest movie of all time! I don’t begrudge Julia Stiles her shot at romantic comedy gold, but really she’d be better served continuing to take high-quality supporting roles until the right role comes along for her to be a star in. This film has something to do with Stiles’ character falling in love with a Scandinavian prince who attends the University of Wisconsin. Which is strange, because I’m pretty sure only corn-fed farm boys and listless hippies attend the University of Wisconsin. The DVD has a director’s audio commentary with Martha Coolidge; featurettes; a gag reel; deleted scenes (including an alternate ending) and other features.
For waiting for the inevitable special edition: Kill Bill Vol. 2 (2004)
Come on, does anybody really think this is worth picking up? Maybe if your video rental shop charges the exact price of the DVD, but otherwise, be smart, be Les Winan-like and wait for the uncut, director’s edition of Kill Bill that isn’t chopped in two and has actual features, not just the deleted scenes and featurettes. It’s coming at some point. It has to be. Quentin Tarantino would never do anything unpredictable.
For being the first movie ever to feature two future Governors. Of real states. In the United States of America. We’re not talking about Risk here, people: Predator (2-Disc Special Edition) (1987)
Look, in no other week would this disc qualify as the DVD Pick of the Week, but this isn’t much of a week, and this film does, after all, feature Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura, two men who would go on to govern actual states. While Ventura is roundly thought of as a mediocre media whore of a Minnesota governor and the jury’s still out on Schwarzenegger in California, there is a movie out this weekend featuring the Predator character that has to be cross-marketed.
The plot of the film isn’t exactly complicated: alien killing people in the rain forest, troop sent to stop them, last man alive (Schwarzenegger) must face off with alien, Predator is not without its enjoyably over-the-top moments. Whether it’s Carl Weathers and Jesse Ventura as best buddies (why wasn’t Weathers the Lt. Governor of Minnesota? We need an answer to that) or Schwarzenegger ending up showing off as many muscles as possible while speaking in clichés, the film is actually fun to watch.
Since it’s the DVD Pick of the Week, it has to have at least as many extra features as Dorm Daze, and it does. The Predator two-disc set features an audio commentary with director John McTiernan; featurettes (including "If It Bleeds, We Can Kill It" and "Inside the Predator”, both of which sound like violent pornos); deleted scenes; photos; outtakes; a documentary and other features. Not a bad package. It’s just too bad there’s no special self-important “Governor’s audio commentary track”. That would have been fascinating.
August 10, 2004
Alf: Season One (4-DVD Set) (1986)
The Bad Seed (1956)
Bill Cosby, Himself (1981)
Blue's Clues: Blue's Room Snacktime Playdate (2004)
Crossroads (1986)
The Day Time Ended (1980)
Dead Above Ground (2002)
Dead Ringer (1964)
Dorm Daze (Unrated) (2003)
Envy (2004)
Freaks (1932)
Full Clip (2004)
Girl with a Suitcase (1960)
Good Bye Lenin! (2003)
Heaven is a Playground (1991)
Highlander: Season Five (8-DVD Set) (1998)
Insight of Evil (2003)
It Takes a Thief (1959)
Johnson Family Vacation (2004)
Kill Bill Volume 2 (2004)
The Lost Boys (2-Disc Special Edition) (1987)
Manchild: The Complete First Season (2-DVD Set) (2002)
Masterpiece (2000)
Predator (2-Disc Special Edition) (1987)
The Prince & Me (2004)
Sada (1998)
What's New Scooby-Doo? Halloween Boos and Clues (2004)
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