How to Spend $20

By Les Winan

August 4, 2004

I didn't realize it's that kind of movie.

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Taking a look ahead at the week's DVD releases is always dicey for your wallet. Nearly every week, there's a disc that would fit nicely into any size collection. When it comes time to decide what to buy, there are really two determining factors: how much you love the content and the quality of the extra features on the disc.

As a result, decisions will be totally subjective (I bought the full run of the unjustly canceled ABC dramedy Sports Night, no matter that the discs are featureless, The Criterion Collection edition of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is a disc I had been dreaming of for years). The massive unreleased studio (film and television) back-catalogue means that every week there's likely something for every film fan. So before you think to yourself, "I don’t care that it’s funny that the producer’s name is Jeff Prettyman, but I’ll still watch Cheerleader Camp more than once!" stop; ask yourself, "Why!?" and then check to see if Cheerleader Camp (or your disc of choice) is one of the weekly BOP DVD recommendations.

Well, like every bad seed, I turned up again. Apologies for missing out on a few weeks, but I had to get married. My wife made me do it. But I am back to my usual erratic (but mostly weekly) schedule. Mostly, I’m back this week because I had to warm up for next week, when the greatest movie ever comes out on DVD. The Prince and Me is one of the best films of all time, a true classic that established Julia Stiles as the Audrey Hepburn of her age. Okay, I never saw it. Oddly enough, I’m not even drinking as I babble like this. I’ll have to remedy that situation.

Did you know that you can’t register for wedding gifts at Best Buy? That’s a damn shame, because I would really have thrown that store some business. All I’m saying is that we got about $36,000 in Crate and Barrel bowls of varying sizes that my wife registered for, so the least Best Buy could have done is let me register for a TiVo. Or a plasma screen TV, in case any of my friends happened to be drunk while they were buying me a gift. At least I got to sit in a hot tub and drink beer while watching Pardon the Interruption every day on my honeymoon.

In any case, now that I’m still not drunk but still happily babbling, I’ll get on with the show. Did you know that some DVDs were released this week? It’s true, though I don’t think any of them are particularly exciting. But that’s just me. Don’t worry, though, in addition to The Prince and Me next week, the week after is that movie with the Olsen twins, Mary Crack and Ashley. Okay, so I’m just hoping to make it one more week after that, when another Futurama set is released. After that, I fully expect to be struck down for spending an entire column making fun of Mel Gibson when The Passion of the Christ is released. Anyway.

Can I also just say that I really loved reading the terrible reviews of The Village? I seem to be the only one generally unimpressed with M. Night Shylamamanam’s work, but it was nice to see one of his pretentious, overly clever (but admittedly good-looking) films finally getting their due.

For wishing there were Orcs in the desert: Hidalgo (2004)

Is Viggo Mortensen destined to go down in history with such luminaries as Cuba Gooding Jr., Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Robin Williams, Kevin Spacey, and others who really made a couple of good choices and then were led far astray by their agents? Maybe, maybe not, but judging by the box office success (ahem) of Hidalgo, there may be cause for concern. Luckily, unlike, say, Boat Trip, you can actually see the draw to a film like Hidalgo. Somewhere in the mess is a good movie waiting to get out. Catwoman, on the other hand, not so much. So maybe there’s hope for Viggo; he’s certainly more interesting than the bulk of actors in his position (though I would like to hear Robin Williams talk about shooting up with John Belushi and then leaving as he died). If you love you some Viggo and need to pick up this disc, there are two featurettes but not much more for your viewing pleasure.

For discs that just scream “NO FEATURES”: Jack (1996)

Proving my point about Robin Williams. Fire your agent, Robin. Just do it.

For commentary tracks guaranteed to be unintentionally funny: Knight Rider: Season One (4-DVD Set) (1982)

There’s a lot of love out there for this show, and for good reason. It was good fun, and it’s not every day a guy gets to upgrade from a talking car to running on a beach with hot women. It’s also not every day that the talking car’s voice goes on to a) a television series with the lesser brother of Fred Savage and b) the Presidency of the Screen Actor’s Guild. I’m just going to go ahead and guess that no other voice of a talking car is ever going to hold that other office Ronald Reagan once held. If you check out this four-disc set, you’ll find an audio commentary with David Hasselhoff and creator Gary A. Larson (I assume the “A.” is to differentiate himself from the genius Gary Larson). In addition, you’ll have the honor of watching the "Knight Rider 2000" TV movie; a photo gallery; KITT's “owners' manual”; and featurettes.

For taking advantage of a sequel to bilk your audience: The Princess Diaries (2-Disc Collector's Edition) (2001)

Did you know that if you really liked The Princess Diaries and already bought the DVD, you’re legally required to buy the “Collector’s Edition”? It’s true. Unfortunately, it’s not true that any of the deleted scenes on the “Collector’s Edition” feature Mandy Moore frolicking in the nude (or Anne Hathaway even). The deleted scenes ARE introduced by director Garry Marshall, though, so you won't want to miss out on that. Okay, so the first DVD edition of this film wasn’t feature-laden, but when the “Collector’s Edition” features an exclusive sneak peek at The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement, it’s hard to think they’re not cashing in. At least this isn’t the second “special” version of the film, because that wouldn’t be classy. Not like a princess is classy. Other features include bloopers, outtakes, and two featurettes.

For being a big fat Greek: Zorba the Greek (1964)

Maybe it’s time to buy something Greek, what with the Olympics starting soon. At least this film is hitting DVD so you won’t have to buy My Big Fat Greek Mediocre Movie like the rest of America (for those of you who don’t get it, I’m referring to the recent hit film My Big Fat Greek Wedding, starring that star of stars, Nia Vardalos). If you want to check out this film about an Englishman discovering the joys of Greek life, you’ll also get to discover the joys of an audio commentary with director Michael Cacoyannis (he sounds Greek, it must be entertaining); a photo gallery; Movietone news footage; and a featurette.

For not missing out on a work from down under: Garage Days (2002)

This mostly unnoticed film from critically acclaimed director Alex Proyas (The Crow; Dark City; I, Robot) was released primarily in Australia. The films deals with an Australian band trying to find success in rock and or roll and having to deal with the issues that come along with it. Proyas’ work is reliably entertaining, so at a minimum, this film is worth a rental. If you spend a little time with the disc, it’s worth listening to the audio commentary with Proyas; and checking out the deleted scenes; outtakes; interviews; and other extras included.

For screenwriters finding any possible way to not feel naughty about thinking a 13-year-old is hot: 13 Going on 30 (2004)

Jennifer Garner, taking a break from continuous weeping on Alias, lets loose in this “no, I swear, this wasn’t inspired by Big” comedy about a 13-year-old who fast forwards to age 30, with no memory of the years that came between. Mostly based on the fact that I think Jennifer Garner is plenty good looking, 13 Going on 30 is the DVD Pick of the Week.

Like I said, Garner is pretty nice to look at, and she’s smart enough to be surrounded by capable co-stars (Mark Ruffalo, Judy Greer, Andy “Gollum” Serkis). I think there’s probably a good market for Garner as a romantic comedy lead, she certainly has the smile and willingness to embarrass herself that can be put to good use. Also, she’s pretty hot.

The 13 Going on 30 DVD features two audio commentaries (one with director Gary Winick, the other with the film’s three producers); bloopers; a huge number (18) of deleted and extended scenes; music videos (including Rick Springfield's "Jesse's Girl"); and featurettes. In all, it’s no Lord of the Rings extended edition, but a pretty nice package for the DVD Pick of the Week.

August 3, 2004

13 Going on 30 (2004)
Adoption (1975)
Blind Chance (1982)
Cheerleader Camp (1987)
Darby O'Gill and the Little People (1959)
Double Trouble (1967)
First to Die (2003)
Garage Days (2002)
Half-Caste (2004)
Happy Hell Night (1992)
Harum Scarum (1965)
Hidalgo (2004)
I'm Not Rappaport (1996)
It Happened at the World's Fair (1963)
Jack (1996)
Knight Rider: Season One (4-DVD Set) (1982)
Moon Over Parador (1988)
Paradise (1991)
The Princess Diaries (2-Disc Collector's Edition) (2001)
The Reckoning (2004)
Sliders: The First and Second Seasons (6-DVD Set) (1995)
Soccer Dog: European Cup (2004)
Speedway (1968)
Spinout (1966)
The Sting II (1983)
A Time for Dancing (2000)
Tiptoes (2003)
The Trouble with Girls (1969)
Zorba the Greek (1964)


     


 
 

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