How to Spend $20

By Les Winan

June 15, 2004

Itchy's a jerk.

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Taking a look ahead at the week's DVD releases is always dicey for your wallet. Nearly every week, there's a disc that would fit nicely into any size collection. When it comes time to decide what to buy, there are really two determining factors: how much you love the content and the quality of the extra features on the disc.

As a result, decisions will be totally subjective (I bought the full run of the unjustly canceled ABC dramedy Sports Night, no matter that the discs are featureless, The Criterion Collection edition of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is a disc I had been dreaming of for years). The massive unreleased studio (film and television) back-catalogue means that every week there's likely something for every film fan. So before you think to yourself, "I’m not too scared to simply go out and buy porn, but I’ll watch Live Nude Girls more than once!" stop; ask yourself, "Why!?" and then check to see if Live Nude Girls (or your disc of choice) is one of the weekly BOP DVD recommendations.

For movie titles that aptly describe the box office success of Val Kilmer’s last few movies: Spartan (2004)

Poor Val Kilmer. And by “poor Val Kilmer," I mean “pathetic Val Kilmer." If only he hadn’t been an egomaniacal loon, his career might have continued where that of a gifted actor should…you know, success. I will give him credit for picking his roles better of late (Wonderland and now a Mamet film), but that doesn’t mean he’s any less caaaaarazy. Speaking of crazy, did you know that Kilmer plays a Secret Service agent in Spartan? That’s crazy. I wouldn’t trust Val Kilmer (or any character of his) to baby-sit my pet rock, mostly because it’s smarter than he is. In any case, Spartan, which also stars Derek “Antwone Fisher” Luke, has something to do with a Secret Service agent trying to find the kidnapped daughter of the President of the United States, who may or may not have been sold into white slavery. No, I didn’t make that up and yes, it is an idea that screams “Aaron Sorkin shortly after hitting the crack." Oh, sure it’s Mamet, but that doesn’t mean it makes any more sense. If you check out the DVD, you’ll find the main feature is an audio commentary with Kilmer himself, which I’m sure is fascinating.

For living out the title by looking at the list of extra features: Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Complete Second Season (2-DVD Set) (2002)

I tried. Then I tried another episode. Then I returned the DVD to the video store. I guess I get what’s funny about the show without getting what’s funny about the show. Maybe it’s the simple fact that Larry David is even more painful to watch than Jerry Seinfeld when it comes to “acting," improvised or not. Though the premise of the show that got the convicted murderer out of jail recently (no, really) is pretty funny (Larry hires a hooker to ride with him so he can use the carpool lane), I just haven’t been able to handle watching the show. If you’re not a big fan of the show, you won’t be able to handle buying the DVD, which has as many extras as Jennifer Love Hewitt has recent hit movies. That would be zero (0) for those of you scoring at home.

For making OCD “cool” For making OCD “cool” For making OCD “cool” For making OCD “cool” For making OCD “cool” For making OCD “cool” For making OCD “cool” For making OCD “cool” For making OCD “cool” For making OCD “cool” For making OCD “cool” For making OCD “cool” For making OCD “cool” For making OCD “cool” For making OCD “cool” For making OCD “cool” For making OCD “cool”: Monk: The Complete First Season (4-DVD Set) (2002)

My affinity for The West Wing has kept me from any willingness to watch Monk. Or maybe it’s those bad flashbacks to when my college roommate (the same one who would always watch Dukes of Hazzard in the afternoons freshman year) discovered afternoon reruns of Wings our sophomore year. It was a tough year planning a murder, my grades really suffered. In any case, Tony Shalhoub is rumored to be outstanding as a police detective with OCD. There really is nothing like mining mental illness for laughs, as the success of this show proves. We’re only weeks away from the debut of The Depressed Dick, starring David Caruso as a detective with clinical depression who can’t decide if his gun is for fighting crime or using on himself. What? I just used mental illness to get a laugh? Crap. Blame the show Monk. If you decide not to and go buy the DVD, the only real features are a variety of featurettes, including one on Monk and his OCD. HA!

For all the other critically acclaimed films starring little people yet to be released on DVD: The Station Agent (2003)

Patricia Clarkson, an actress with skillz (see how I used a “z”? That makes me “edgy”) literally screaming for a wider audience, had two acclaimed roles in 2003. The Station Agent is not the one that earned her an Academy Award nomination. That was Pieces of April, by all accounts a film inferior to this release. The Station Agent, a film built entirely around the fact that little people are funny, is… Okay, it’s not built around the fact that little people are funny, but it is built around the fact that the lead character, played by Peter Dinklage (a little person) wants to be left alone because of the ridicule heaped on his small stature. Naturally, as happens in these movies, said lead character befriends a variety of wacky sidekicks. Maybe it’s just that midgets (the aforementioned little people) are high on my list of things that are inherently funny (see Verne Troyer dating models for proof), but it’s just a bit too much from my perspective that a little person have wacky friends. I think the little person should be wacky. That would be a great movie. I’ll stop talking now. If you check out the DVD, you’ll find an audio commentary with director Tom McCarthy and Dinklage, Clarkson, and co-star Bobby Cannavale as well as some deleted scenes.

For quite possibly the greatest season of the greatest television comedy in history: The Simpsons: The Complete Fourth Season (4-DVD Set) (1992)

Okay, I’m going to do my best not to hyperventilate here. As a result, I’m sure this will be a shorter piece than it deserves. It’s not only that The Simpsons: The Complete Fourth Season comprises what is likely the greatest season of the greatest television comedy in history, it’s that when you combine that fact with the notion that Matt Groening and company are also producing the finest DVD season sets of any television show out there, well…THUD.

There’s certainly no need to describe what The Simpsons is about; the show is an icon, so I’ll simply list the episodes in the fourth season and let everyone be amazed: Kamp Krusty, A Streetcar Named Marge, Homer the Heretic, Lisa the Beauty Queen, Treehouse of Horror III, Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie, Marge Gets a Job, New Kid on the Block, Mr. Plow, Lisa's First Word, Homer's Triple Bypass, Marge vs. the Monorail, Selma's Choice, Brother from the Same Planet, I Love Lisa, Duffless, Last Exit to Springfield, So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show, The Front, Whacking Day, Marge in Chains, Krusty Gets Kancelled.

Really, isn’t that all you need? If you didn’t stop reading in the middle of that list (about when you got to Marge vs. the Monorail) and run out to buy the set, well I just don’t know who you are anymore. I’m sitting here trying to come up with a way of not sounding ridiculous when I say that words just can’t describe how great this season is and it’s not helping. There’s no way. Season four is the start of what one of the writers called “our Sgt. Pepper." The stretch from season four (really, the end of three) through the end of season seven is simply some of the best comedy writing in history.

If you’re stupid enough to not run out, breaking all traffic laws on your way to the store, you’ll miss out an incredible package of extra features to supplement the greatest television season ever. First, there’s a special introduction from creator Matt Groening. Then you can check out audio commentary on every episode, with a varying cast of responsible parties, including Groening, executive producers Al Jean and Mike Reiss, and a variety of other writers and producers (including Conan O’Brien on several episodes). You’ll also find commercials; illustrated commentaries; deleted scenes; two featurettes; behind-the-scenes promotional materials and other hidden extras. It’s a superlative set for the DVD Pick of the Week, The Simpsons: The Complete Fourth Season.

June 15, 2004

According to Spencer (2001)
American Perfekt (1997)
Angel: The Complete Series (18-DVD Set) (1999)
Belly of an Architect (1991)
Beverly Hills 90210: Pilot Episode (1990)
Bottom Out (2004)
Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Complete Second Season (2-DVD Set) (2002)
Dark Craving (a.k.a. Heartstopper) (1992)
Dragon Storm (2003)
The Gunman (2003)
Hangman's Knot (1952)
High School Confidential (1958)
In the Weeds (2000)
Live Nude Girls (1994)
Love Happy (1950)
Monk: The Complete First Season (4-DVD Set) (2002)
Moulin Rouge (1952)
My Dear Secretary (1949)
The Nest (2002)
Nip/Tuck: The Complete First Season (5-DVD Set) (2003)
Prick Up Your Ears (1987)
Prisoners of the Sun (1990)
The Raggedy Rawney (1990)
Scarecrow Gone Wild (2004)
The Simpsons: The Complete Fourth Season (4-DVD Set) (1992)
Sound of the Sea (2001)
Spartan (2004)
The Station Agent (2003)
Teacher's Pet (2004)
To End All Wars (2001)
Tomie: Another Face (1999)
Touching the Void (2003)
Tupac: Resurrection (Full Frame) (2003)
Tupac: Resurrection (Widescreen) (2003)
The Wedding Banquet (1993)
Xena: Warrior Princess: Season Four (8-DVD Set) (1999)


     


 
 

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