April 2004 Forecast
By Tim Briody
I'll preface this month's forcast with a warning: I am looking forward to exactly one film this month, and can basically do without the rest of the month's releases. This makes me biased.
1. Kill Bill: Volume 2
Why: Because I just told you, I'm biased. The first film was so delightfully bloody, I wanted to see Volume 2 immediately after it ended. Damn you, Quentin Tarantino, for 1) splitting your movie into two parts and 2) making us wait so damn long.
Why not: Okay, slipping in a bit of realism, Volume 1 did top out at $70 million after a decent $22 million start. The DVD of Volume 1 will have been available a whole three days before the release of this, so it's not going to have any time at all to build word-of-mouth, which might be able to help Volume 2's box office earnings. I'm still biased, though.
Why: Amazingly, it looks pretty darn good. Gets the jump on The Punisher. Even practially unknown comic book adaptations (Daredevil?) have been golden.
Why not: Should have been released a few weeks earlier when The Passion of the Christ was still doing boffo business. Would've been funny to have religious-types getting Passion tickets and then have the next guy in line ask for Hellboy tickets.
3. The 13 Going On 30 Girl Next Door Ella Enchanted The Prince and Me
Why: A movie with Jennifer Garner, Elisa Cuthbert, Anne Hathaway and Julia Stiles? We're there, dude.
Why not: Whaddaya mean these are four different films? Aw, maaaaaan.
7. The Alamo
Why: Everyone likes historical pictures, right? Hey, come back! It's got guns and everything!
Why not:It's been on the shelf for a while. All the "remember the Alamo" jokes will get old pretty fast if it bombs.
8. Walking Tall
Why: I dig the hell out of The Rock. This is the type of role that seems perfect for him.
Why not: But it only spotlights the action side. The guy is still waiting for the perfect vehicle that will spotlight his charisma and bring the millions (and millions) of The Rock's fans to the theater. He also needs to get back in the ring more. Making an appearance once every few months is not the way to keep fans.
9. Home on the Range
Why: Be the first on your block to watch the final nail in the coffin of traditional animation!
Why not: Completely the type of film that finds a much larger audience on DVD than it will in theaters.
10. The Whole Ten Yards
Why: Dear God, why, indeed.
Why not: Where to start? The first one wasn't that funny. This one doesn't look any more amusing. The title is stupid. Amanda Peet keeps her clothes on.
Read Marty Doskins' April ForecastRead David Mumpower's April ForecastRead Kim Hollis's April Forecast