Survivor: David vs. Goliath

Jackets and Eggs

By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower

October 26, 2018

That's a lovely smile from an unbearable person, at least according to editing.

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Previously on Survivor, Natalia paranoid talked her way right off the show. Despite having the numbers after the tribal swap, her attempt at controlling the vote turned off her fellow Goliath, Alec. He decided to team up with some Davids instead. Now, he and Kara are outnumbered on the little Vuku tribe, but it never really seemed like Davie, Carl, and Elizabeth had that tight of a bond anyway.

Natalia handled the whole thing like the great sport she claimed to be – petulantly.

For Kara’s part, she’s freaking out. “I feel naked.” (You’re not.) “I feel exposed.” (You’re not, and since this is network TV, we feel pretty confident you won’t be.) “I feel like this wasn’t supposed to happen.”

Prepare for a mini-rant.

Folks, if you’re a contestant on Survivor and you’re complaining about the outcome of Tribal Council, you’re MISSING THE POINT. It wasn’t you. The purpose of this game is to avoid getting voted out. It doesn’t matter if your alliance got wrecked. It doesn’t matter if your best friend or significant other got voted out. All that matters is that your chance of winning a million dollars just increased significantly. They could have voted out your mother or your pastor. It’s still good news for you personally if someone other than you went home. We have about a dozen eliminations yet to go in this game. It’s way too soon for you to be whining about a specific vote. In fact, what happened was instructive. You now know that you don’t have the numbers. So GO GET THEM.

Our favorite moment comes when Kara rants that she can’t trust anything Alec says after this betrayal. Then, she is shown pleading with him to promise that he is loyal to her. She also tells him what a brilliant play it was. It’s akin to telling your significant other that they were really smart to cheat on you and you totally understand why they did it, as long as they never do it again.

For his part, Alec tells her, “I don’t look at them as, like, strategically real players. I look at them as an extra vote.” He might lack basic math skills. He might be thinking long-term, but right now, he needs to survive the next vote.

Also, everyone says hi to Karl.

Gabby shows up to make us sad about her self-esteem issues again, and then yet another terrible giant cloud rolls in. Natalie loves it, though. No one else agrees. The winds are ridiculous, everything is waterlogged, and it’s not possible to have a fire. Honestly, we worry for the safety of the Survivor contestants right now.

Thankfully, Survivor feels the same way. They’re evacuating everyone until the weather clears up.

“We’re all Davids today; that’s the Goliath,” says Christian, getting the dumb comment in so Probst won’t have to later.

When the Jabeni tribe returns to camp, they find their shelter obliterated. Same goes for Vuku, where it appears that a bomb exploded. Someone would definitely have been injured or worse if they had stayed.

So hey! It’s Probst time! We’re going to have JUST a Reward Challenge today. That’ll make for a fast-paced episode! First place team gets four egg-laying chickens, and second will earn a dozen eggs.

In the first portion of the challenge, contestants have to use poles to poke beanbags off a netted roof. It feels like a game where kids would receive candy at the end.

Tiva takes a pretty fast lead, but Jabeni and Vuku quickly catch up. Alec is the first person to get a beanbag in a basket. Jabeni also gets one when Angelina nails a shot. Angelina steps up for Vuku and wins chickens for her team.

Finally, Dan ties Tiva with Jabeni, but too many missed shots doom Tiva. Jabini gets some eggs.

Gabby takes this moment to worry whether she would have been the one voted out if it had actually been an Immunity Challenge. Sheesh.

Over at Vuku, they celebrate their chickens. Kara starts turning on the charm with every one of the former Davids. Elizabeth senses that Kara would still rather stick with the other Goliaths moving forward, while Alec is more willing to play the game and shift his alliance.

Angelina is super happy about the eggs, because she is a vegetarian and hasn’t had protein in two weeks. Natalie suggests that they should boil them all right now so they don’t go bad. Lyrsa JUST CAN’T with her. Lyrsa is a magna cum laude graduate of culinary school, so she knows about the shelf life of food.

“[Natalie] has a Masters in ungraciousness,” Mike carps. Note that he’s complaining about her personality, and two of his films star Jack Black.

Please let tonight be the night she gets voted out.


Over at Tiva, the tribe is rebuilding their shelter. They tell Christian that he’s a ka-genius (which is like a super genius). We also learn that John is the head of the Brochachos. Fortunately for Christian, both Dan and John like him a lot, and Gabby is correct that she is their first target.

Not content to have only one Immunity Idol, Dan goes out searching for yet another one. He finds something right in the most obvious spot, though it’s not an idol – just a clue. He’ll have to grab it surreptitiously during the Immunity Challenge and hope that his tribemates don’t notice.

Hey, guess what? Probst Returns!

Today, teams will race up and over an obstacle. Next up is a ladder that must be propped up. Then, they will send someone to throw a rope to them. That rope helps teams to put a bridge in place. Tiva and Vuku get off to an early lead.

Natalie falls twice. She laughs. Maybe she’s laughing at herself, but you could certainly perceive that she’s not taking the game seriously.

The next stage involves untying a bag with a ball in it. The final phase requires one player to maneuver a ball through a snake maze. It’s actually pretty close between all three teams.

By the way, everyone is so completely wrapped up in watching this portion of the challenge that Dan is able to get his idol with absolutely no problem.

Both Alec and the Mayor of Slamtown drop their balls (huh huh) which allows Nick to go for it. Christian replaces John, while Alec goes aggressive.

Christian is employing all of his ka-genius skills here, which allows him to catch up with Alec and Nick. It seriously COULD NOT BE CLOSER.

Alec wins immunity. Christian wins second immunity. Jabeni is going to Tribal Council, where we can only hope that Natalie is the official boot at the almost halfway point.

Seriously, do we even need to play “It’s Anyone But Natalie?”

Lyrsa hates her. Mike hates her. Angelina hates her. She’s terrible in challenges. Surely to God Nick can’t deal with her either, right?

Mike, Angelina, and Natalie discuss which David to vote out. Angelina is fixated on Lyrsa, because she wants Lyrsa’s jacket. Natalie tries to bully Nick into either stealing Lyrsa’s jacket or giving up his own jacket.

We suppose it comes down to Mike, who hate hate hates Natalie. He tells Nick to go to Angelina and suggest that they all vote for Natalie together. She obsesses some more about stealing a jacket or getting someone else’s jacket somehow. We suppose this begs the question: Why the eff didn’t you bring your own jacket?

Tribal Council basically comes down to a discussion of whether Goliath is still a strong alliance. Lyrsa bluntly states something like, “Yeah, but you’d be at the bottom of that tribe” to Natalie.

Natalie claims she is NEVER the center of attention! NEVER! Lyrsa is still harboring hard feelings about the eggs. Angelina mentions Natalie’s conflict with others and her extreme need for efficiency.

Nick brings up the fact that Natalie tried to bully him and Lyrsa out of their jackets. Natalie flat out asks Angelina if she wants to say anything here. Angelina basically says “I… I… I… I…” and then semi-recovers and claims that Natalie was trying to do something on her behalf that just came across wrong.

“But you should see the jackets,” Natalie says, needing the last word.

When he votes for Natalie, Nick’s comment is “You could make a preacher cuss.”

Simple truth.

Natalie smiles as the vote is 2-2 between her and Lyrsa. Thank goodness for Mike White, a David at heart, because he votes for Natalie and she is out of here. Angelina goes to hug her, and Natalie stiff arms her.

“Natalie, is there any way I can have your jacket?” Angelina asks.

Dear sweet jeebus.

Natalie walks away. If you want a jacket, you BRING a jacket. Idiot.

We celebrate.



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