Survivor: David vs. Goliath

Time to Bring About the Charmpocalypse

By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower

October 21, 2018

Whoops. Should have stopped talking.

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Previously on Survivor, the second worst person was voted out, while the worst person stayed. Then again, if the second worst person had kept talking, we might have changed our vote. Putting names to the situation, Jeremy left, while Natalie’s proclamation that she is “Goliath strong” saved her.

Moving forward, we’ve had three eliminations so far, which means that this is the point where the show usually drops its core conceit. During the final Tribal Council, we can still look forward to Probst acting like it was super duper important.

So, let’s get right to it. The show begins with Probst bringing the tribes together and telling the Davids that Jeremy was voted off of the Goliaths. What’s the most predictable response to this announcement? “Wow.”

But there is a “Wow,” because Bi tells her teammates that she’s made the decision to withdraw from the show because of her sprained MCL. There are a lot of tears, and Probst makes a banal comment about the Davids having such adversity.

So, now with FOUR people gone, it’s really time to drop buffs. Davie is thrilled, saying that he wants to backstab and turn people against each other. He then deems himself Devilish Davie. FYI – you can’t give yourself a nickname.

Instead of two new tribes, we’re going to three. And if you don’t have a buff, you don’t have a tribe. Carl is the odd man out.

The new Vuku tribe is Davie, Natalia, Cara, Alec, and Elizabeth.

Tiva is John, Alison, Dan, Christian, and Gabby.

Jabini is made up of Natalie, Mike, Angelina, Lyrsa, and Nick.

Carl is going to Exile Island. He will join the group that loses someone at Tribal Council.

By the way, the Goliaths have the advantage on all three tribes.

Vuku loves their awesome camp, and they all spend a few minutes getting to know each other. Actually, this group seems like one that should get along pretty well. Davie admits that he hasn’t been friends with many Caucasians thus far in his life, but since he’s a nerd, he really WANTS to. He has a PT Cruiser and everything! Actually, he’s pretty hilarious, even if he does give himself nicknames

Elizabeth and Cara bond over horses and their Conservative politics. Natalia freaks out, worrying that Cara has a connection with Elizabeth. (By the way, Dan, over at Tiva camp, is devastated to be separated from “his girl.” For the rest of the seaspn, we’re calling him Mr. Cling.)

On Exile Island, Carl gets a clue about some sort of something that might make his time on Exile Island worthwhile. He immediately zeroes in on coconuts, and finds one with blue string. He wins an advantage, which is called the Idol Nullifier. It’s not QUITE as awesome as it sounds. He would play it in secret for a person of his choice. IF the idol is played for that particular person, THEN he would nullify said idol. Basically, there’s a lot of fine print.

Over at Jabini, it’s time to cut to Natalie, whose sole purpose is to say terrible things about other people. She says terrible things about someone. Cut back to the group. As she bosses everyone around, Mike White is thinking she’s not even believable as a character. Mike and Angelina tell Lyrsa and Nick that this version of Natalie is the mild one. She’s been much worse.

Nick sees an opportunity to join forces with Mike, who seems more David than Goliath anyway. Mike does share that Dan has an idol, but also states that he intends to hold true to the Goliath alliance.

As for Christian, he’s clearly intimidated by the Goliaths. He figures he needs to turn on the charm, so he asks John about the demographics of Slamtown. John actually rather enjoys Christian and even relates to him.


By the way, John won the Impact world title this past weekend.

It’s time for another Gabby freakout. Because Christian relates to John, she feels like she is on the outs. She has no ability to communicate with the Goliaths. Christian says he’s there to keep her head in the game. She doesn’t know if his company is enough to keep her going. Her self-esteem is an issue. We can’t imagine where she’ll be at Day 39 if this is how she’s feeling this early in the game.

Probst time again. This episode is flying by. Obviously, with three tribes, two will win Immunity, which means one will go to Tribal Council. The challenge involves a “caller” who rides a little wheelbarrow and calls out instructions to the people guiding her through an obstacle course/maze.

Winner of the challenge will get bakery items such as pastries, brownies, and coffee.

Gabby gets her people through the challenge pretty quickly, retrieving some balls to get her people to navigate a difficult maze.

Initially, Vuku and Tiva are way, way ahead. Eventually, though, Tiva drops their ball in the maze and has to start over, evening it out between them and Jabini.

Tivi wins. Gabby was amazing. Hopefully, that will give her a boost.

The race is legitimately close between Vuku and Jabini, with Jabini being really, really close to victory three times. In the end, the Jabini tribe takes second place, which means Vuku is going to Tribal Council. After they vote someone off, they’ll inherit Carl. The Goliaths seem fairly confident due to their numbers, but we think it’s a tough call as to whether they vote for Davie or Elizabeth. We’ll predict Davie, since Elizabeth has bonded with Cara and Davie is a schemer.

The two of them go searching for the Idol, and Davie reminds us that he actually has it already. However, he doesn’t want to use it this early, so he goes to Cara and Natalia to tell them that Elizabeth was looking for the idol. Also, he tells Natalia that she is Elizabeth’s target.

For her part, Elizabeth approaches Alec, who is very careful with what he does and does not say. He looks a little sick to his stomach over the whole thing, but he does consider Davie the bigger threat if Elizabeth will vote with them.

Let’s just go to Tribal Council and figure out which one of Davie or Elizabeth will go home…

But wait. Alec is actually supremely annoyed by Natalia’s bossiness. He had suggested Davie as the vote, and she immediately shot him down. She takes this moment to pop into the tent and tell Davie that everyone is voting for Elizabeth.

Nice try, Survivor, but this move makes no sense for Alec, especially with Carl returning to the game. There’s no reason for him to give the Davids the advantage.

“If I go home tonight, guns a-blazing, I’m happy.” Natalia says this, but she doesn’t mean it.

After a couple of minutes of conversation, Alec gets up and whispers in Elizabeth’s ear. Natalia FREAKS out. How in the hell did she just play her way out of this game? The ghost of Jeremy lives on. Paranoid behavior is a sure way to get yourself voted out.

Remember two paragraphs ago? Yeah, she’s one of the worst sports we’ve ever seen. She’s gone and Alec has just marked himself amongst the Goliaths. At least it’s not boring!



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