5 Ways to Recap the SAG Awards
By George Rose
January 25, 2018
We’re so close and yet so far away from the Oscar ceremony. With only two Guilds to go (WGA & DGA), you’d think the big day is around the corner. The Grammy’s are January 28, the Super Bowl is February 4 and the Winter Olympics go from February 9 through 25. Considering that the Writers’ and Directors’ Guild each only give out one award that matters, there’s a pretty large drought between now and the Oscars on March 4. Despite the month-long calm before the big Hollywood storm, this past week was the last to be jam-packed full of awards season drama. Let’s take a few moments for 5 Ways to Recap the SAGs before the long break.
NUMBER ONE - WORST SAG MOMENTS: In the last week we’ve had the Producers’ Guild Awards, Screen Actors’ Guild Awards and Oscar nominations. The only one with a broadcast worth watching was the SAGs. Here are the worst moments from that star-studded show.
#1) LADIES LEAD THE NIGHT - Despite a good idea in theory to start the show with performers comically explaining why they became film stars to begin with and how the success has worked out for them, the list is made up entirely of actresses. Not a single bloke in the bunch. What good is women ruling the world if there’s no men to objectify?
#2) THE WITHER-LOSER RETURNS - As Kristen Bell delivers the latest epic opening monologue that addresses the current inequality issues in Tinseltown, the camera pans out to show the face of former Desperate Housewives of Hollywood heavyweight Reese Witherspoon, who mouths the words, “Well said,” with a nod of approval. The self-appointed leader of the #TimesUp movement gets her moment early on and, luckily, is quiet thereafter.
#3) SEX OFFENDER PTSD - Those that have been even remotely linked to sexual abuse in Hollywood haunted the show: Aziz Ansari, who won Best Comedy TV Actor at the Globes, wasn’t present for nominations or won the SAG; Robin Wright, who stars in House of Cards with the disgraced Kevin Spacey, was nowhere to be seen when her nomination was announced; James Franco, who won a Globe for The Disaster Artist but skipped the Critics’ Choice Awards, surprisingly attended the SAG but avoided eye contact with the camera. #Awkward4MeToo
#4) BIG OBVIOUS LIE - Alexander Skarsgard already won the Best Actor in a TV Miniseries award at the Globes, Critics’ Choice and the F-ING EMMYS making it no surprise he wins again here. The real shock is how fake his “I can’t believe I just won” face is before starting his speech with, “Well, this makes sense.” Geez, sorry to keep bothering you with awards!
#5) AND THE LEAST RELEVANT AWARD GOES TO… - The SAGs are the best show to help determine who will win the acting awards at the Oscars and is the first show of the season to narrow down the acting categories to the big four. Considering this is a ceremony for acting, it’s no surprise the Best Picture of the SAG is actually Best Cast. So when Three Billboards wins for Best Cast, all it really does is reinforce the wins for Rockwell and McDormand, not the film.
NUMBER TWO - BEST SAG MOMENTS: Even when the stink of sexual harassment fills the air there are treasurable moments worth finding. Here’s are the top five SAG highlights from 2018.
#1) BELL LEADS THE NIGHT - As the first person to host a SAG show, she joins the all-female lineup of initial actors to joke about how/why she got into show business. She then states, “I am Kristen bell and I am a narcissist… Sorry, I am an actor and, tonight, I am also your host.”
#2) THOSE DARN MOTHER VEEP-ERS - Without stars Julia Louis-Dreyfus (who won for TV Comedy Actress) and Anna Chlumsky present during Veep’s Comedy TV Acting Ensemble award, co-star Matt Walsh gave a speech that thanked the actresses and HBO (also “not there”) for their help in winning. It was one of the few light moments of the night not ruined by scandal.
#3) SHOW ME THE MONEY - Nicole Kidman wins again for Best TV Miniseries Actress. She uses this opportunity to tell the industry to put their money where their mouth is, demanding that studios/financiers start backing stories about and told by women, as “proven” by their success.
#4) THREE-PEAT OFFENDERS - All the pre-Oscar acting awards are out and here are the winners that have taken home all three awards (Globe, Critics’, SAG) leading up to the Oscars: Allison Janney, Sam Rockwell, Frances McDormand and Gary Oldman. The big four are set and have now all won the pre-Oscar hat trick, all but ensuring their future Academy Awards.
#5) THREE VICTORIES FOR MCDORMAND, FRANCES - The crazy cat lady of the season claims her third prize and gives a rather sane speech. She then goes on to to acknowledge her untraditional appearance and older age by stating, “I come out of the woods every few years and you invite me to the party, but there’s a lot of young ones coming up and they need doorstops, too. Let’s think about that.” For real, I’d love for Margot Robbie to upset this win.
NUMBER THREE - BEST DRESSED @ SAG: Nobody cares what producers wore to the PGA ceremony and I’m pretty sure nobody watches the live Oscar nominations reveal. That makes the SAG awards the only show worth watching which makes this the fashion event of the week!
#1) KRISTEN BELL- The hostess-with-the-mostest paired a perfect pink mermaid gown with her light skin tone to create the ultimate Hollywood-glam glow. You don’t need to win an award at the SAGs to be the event’s biggests showstopper.
#2) LESLIE MANN - The stunning, hilarious actress slayed the night in a sleek and sparkling blue gown. She let the dress do well the work while keeping her hair and makeup simple.
#3) YARA SHAHIDI - The Black-ish star crushed it in an all-black strapless onesie with a long train. From the hair to the makeup, her entire style was on-point. She’s one to keep watching.
#4) OLIVIA MUNN - One of the brave women to come forward during these difficult times, Munn protected herself with a solid metal bodice and elegant leaves trailing down her black skirt.
#5) KRISTEN BELL (AGAIN) - As the host of the night, she was given many wardrobe change opportunities and completed each with a winning look. In a night of mostly misfires and bland Oscar warm-ups, Bell overshadowed the crowd while keeping the evening light and gorgeous.
NUMBER FOUR - WORST DRESSED @ SAGS: For every stunning bombshell there’s a frumpy bag lady. Here are the incredibly talented stars that dressed like blind clowns this week.
#1) GINA RODRIGUEZ - The TV actress showed up in a dress that started with a black bra, went down to a poorly blended bustier, and ended with skirt too full of glitter and gloom.
#2) MAYA RUDOLPH - If stars get the fashion first, then what we see now is what the designers hope ends up on fans in a few months. Really, Maya, florals? For Spring? Groundbreaking.
#3) ALLISON JANNEY - I named this Oscar frontrunner in the Top 5 Best Dressed at the Globes, but she was more Tin-Man than Golden-Girl at the SAGs. Too much metal for my taste.
#4) MARY J. BLIGE - Another former Best Dressed contender, she looked more like a Lady Babadook than a Supporting Actress nominee in that black and white cardboard cutout dress.
#5) KATE HUDSON - The creator behind the line of athletic leisurewear, Fabletics, wore a horrible pink Bo Peep dress with black lace covering her chest, topped off with her worn-out pixie cut. She’s in desperate need of a modern-era update.
NUMBER FIVE - THE BEFORE AND AFTER MATH
BEFORE: On January 20, just one day before the Screen Actors’ Guild award show, the Producers’ Guild Awards were handed out. TV shows, animated movies and documentaries aside, the only award we care about is Best Producer. This is the closest we can get to a final guess at Best Picture before the Oscars. The winner? The Shape of Water. So, Three Billboards beat Shape at the Globes. Then, Shape took the top prize at the Critics’ Choice Awards. The PGA was the tie-breaker and it went to Shape. This suggests it could win Best Pictures at the Oscars. However, last year La La Land won the PGA gold and lost the Oscar.
AFTER: On January 22, just two days after the SAG awards, the Oscar nominations were announced. As predicted, there was not enough open-mindedness to allow too many movie minorities in the bunch. Wonder Woman was shut out entirely in favor of a handful of nominations for Get Out, proving there’s not room for BOTH horror and superheroes at the Academy Awards. The biggest shock was a complete absence of James Franco. No Best Picture, Actor or Director nod for the suddenly disgraced star. Though he may still be innocent until proven guilty, the ladies of the #TimesUp movement have spoken hard and swift; if it looks like a pervert, acts like a pervert and has enough people calling it a pervert… then you are not welcome in Hollywood anymore. Guess that means I better clean up my act! Check back soon for another 5 Ways article; I have some fun surprises for you over the next few weeks.
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