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#4) Hercules (1997)

Technically, Disney isn’t bulletproof either. Back when Disney was first guilted into making mass amounts of culturally-diverse movies we got… European white people. I tease because, like the legend of Hercules, I am of Greek heritage. Actually, I’m 100% Greek but second generation American. We consider ourselves more olive-toned than white but I digress. En route to uniting all the colors of the world, Disney gave us a musical version of the classic demi-god. Greeks love gods. Coco’s mystical Mexican mythology is in line with my Greek interests, and the interest of many other cultures that have similar ways of livening up their history lessons. Disney has many characters from differents parts of the globe but it should come as no surprise that the one I enjoy most is the one that belongs to my people. If you look closer, though, most of the films that target a culture (Hercules, Mulan, Princess and the Frog, Lilo and Stitch) tend to earn much less than Disney’s color-free family fare (Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, Frozen).

The problem is that even though we may want to hold hands with everyone in the world, we can’t spend our money on everyone. There’s only so much to go around and some people may skip a feature that isn’t at least close to what their beliefs are. Despite having one of the “top ten limited opening weekend theater averages (adjusted for inflation) of all time” - seriously - Hercules only opened wide with $22 million. It ended with a disappointing $99 million domestically and $252 million worldwide on a $85 million budget. Adjusted for inflation, those numbers jump to roughly $192/491/166 million. It just barely broke even and will forever be remembered as part of the downward trend of 2D animation after Toy Story changed the world in 1995 with computer animation. After Hercules, Disney needed Pixar. Now? Not so much.

#5) Defending Your Life (1991)

Maybe I’m getting paranoid and Coco is destined to be a breakout mega hit. I would love to be wrong and I would love for the news reports about Lasseter to be wrong. I wish everyone would show support of all cultures and genders, especially groups that are highlighted in a very well reviewed Disney/Pixar release, but good reviews don’t always ensure success. Maybe the problem isn’t that we are showing another culture; what if the problem is that we’re showing ANY culture? I mean, Coco deals with the Land of the Remembered, which is kind of like heaven for some people. Life and death are very religious concepts. But what if there was a heaven that was void of culture and religion? What would that look like? Defending Your Life is here to answer that question. Written, directed and starring the sarcastic Albert Brooks, this movie basically says heaven is like a giant waiting room between lives where you are put on trial to defend the life you just lived. If worthy, your next life elevates you to a higher existence. If unworthy, you must repeat your life and try again. It’s an insane concept and hilarious movie, as it shows us what a religionless afterlife would be like. No matter which culture is right, it’s safe to say only the highest power in any afterlife can judge us. The fate of Lasseter is not in our hands but Coco’s could be. I’m sure Disney would be thankful this holiday if you could help make their new film a hit. Just remember, if Coco is a success, then your culture could be next!

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