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5 Ways to Prep: Cars 3

By George Rose

June 15, 2017

Soccer demo rally.

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5) Gone in 60 Seconds (2000)

Not all bad movies are awful. Back in the day, summer movie season was all about bad movies being just big and loud enough to still be awesome. Or maybe that was me just being a stupid young kid. Regardless, I still find pleasure in bad movies, and I’m hoping that Cars 3 (currently 69% positive out of 29 reviews) is less silly like Cars 2 and more a mild attempt at a story like Cars 1. If it can be at least as good as Cars 1, then we have to call Cars 3 a massive winner. The higher the expectations, the lower the reward when it comes to Cars. No producer is better at making wild, amazing, action-packed nonsense out of summer movies than Jerry Bruckheimer (Bad Boys, The Rock, Con Air, Armageddon, Pirates of the Caribbean, etc.) and no film of his is more car-centric than Gone in 60 Seconds.

The younger brother of a famed car thief messes up a job and in exchange for his life, Nicolas Cage must steal 50 cars in one night. Angelina Jolie has the worst dreadlocks in film history, the dialogue is laughably bad and the action wouldn’t remotely impress the Fast and Furious franchise. With only 24% positive reviews, it was even more critically slammed than the worst that the Cars franchise has yet to offer us (unless you count Planes). Yet somehow, by the grace of God, I was not only able to enjoy Gone in 60 Seconds, I actually loved it. It’s one of those fun, mindless movies that’s easy to watch, with a likeable cast and entertaining action. If you can learn to love this movie as I have, there’s a chance you can get through Cars 3 with a smile on your face.

There you have it, your 5 Ways to Prep for the movie letdown of the season. I’m just kidding. That title belongs to Pirates of the Caribbean 5 (I guess Disney and Bruckheimer aren’t invincible). I’d much rather watch the worst of what Pixar has to offer than most of the attempts at quality the other studios fail to entertain me with. Cars 3 is currently considered critically better than Cars 2, so the studio has already scored a win in my book. Check back next week to see how you can prep for Transformers 5 (because fifth-quels need all the help they can get these days) and, until then, enjoy Cars 3 if you can.


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