The Amazing Race: Have Faith in Me, Broski

By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower

April 27, 2017

Knew they should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque

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Previously on The Amazing Race, we were just watching this damned show. Stupid CBS put up a double episode, which is SUPER annoying since they just did the same thing with Survivor the previous night.

What’s worse is that we haven’t yet had a non-elimination leg, and we’re certainly due.

Tonight’s episode starts with Tara & Joey ripping into their clue, which sends them off to Alesund, Norway, home to the highest concentration of fjords in the world. Once there, they’ll drive to Hogsteinen Fyr Lighthouse. Next, they get to eat some rockfish, something that is considered a local delicacy.

Also, many of these words and things don’t sound real words and things. If someone tells you they’re having rockfish at Hogsteinen Fyr, check their texts. They’re probably just bad liars who are cheating on you.

We’re reminded that the Express Pass must be used by the fifth leg, which is today. Thus, #TeamFun tells us that they’re totally onboard with using it and finishing in first place for a change. Last episode, they didn’t receive a lot of airtime.

The explanation was presumably that after being so happy go lucky, Becca got pretty scary with Floyd when he lost their passports. She threatened to punch him and actually followed through with the motion. It was like watching Ellen DeGeneres eat koala bear on live television.

The team that has received a lot of attention is Liz & Mike, who have two out of the last three legs. Today’s episode begins with him saying such kind words that she tears up. She also refers to him as her 21-day husband. For a reality show, this can mean only two things. Either they’re about to kiss or tonight’s episode is the Ugly Divorce.

Tonight’s leg has some separation at the start. Tara & Joey depart at 3:16 PM. Brooke & Scott leave at 5:33. While they had a terrible, terrible leg, they’re still only 37 minutes behind Vanck & Ashton. So, the gap isn’t huge, and The Amazing Race’s producers immediately eliminate it. The flight out isn’t until just before midnight, meaning that everybody’s bunched, negating Tara & Joey’s hard-earned lead. Let them play, CBS!


Okay, Norway’s mountains are spectacular. It’s apparently more than just a Frozen vehicle. The path from the airport to the fake rockfish place is circuitous. Mike freaks out about their journey and stops to ask for directions. Liz is against the idea, but she’s not driving. To her frustration, the local guide confirms that it’s only about a mile down the road the way that they were already going. Liz jumps on this, telling him that she was right and adding, “Have faith in me, Bro-ski.” Don’t do that, Liz. Don’t ever do that.

Team Fun is first to arrive at the fish tasting. They try to act polite, but most of them hate the flavor. Still, they have to swallow it before proceeding. Brooke, who really is the worst, turns into a total drama queen again. She can’t swallow her fish (don’t make it dirty), allowing several other teams to catch them.

Team Fun is also the first to depart from the fish tasting. Their destination is different from the rest, though. They’re taking a helicopter ride to the FastForward. They’ll be tandem skydiving in a bit. That’s gonna be great video. Meanwhile, Brooke’s inability to eat fish costs her team the chance to try for the FastFoward.

Scott, a drama king himself, is furious about this turn of events and frankly sick of his partner. The bickering continues as they enter the car. Brooke wants to follow Vanck and Ashton, as that team has a map to the next location. Scott insists on following the speed limit rather than tailgating their opponents. Brooke hints that his cowardice is hurting the team. He (correctly) points out her overall failure at the challenges to date. They’re toxic and deserve one another.

The Roadblock today involves a world record. Every year, the residents try to break their own record of the world’s largest bonfire. The current attempt will involve 31,000 wooden pallets that “create this rickety tower.” The stack of wood probably climbs up more than 200 feet in the air. The contestants must climb the pallets to reach the top. The structure seems…shaky. Does Norway ever have earthquakes? Because THAT could cause some funny (but tragic) video.

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