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Survivor: Game Changers Recap

Vote Early, Vote Often

By David Mumpower and Kim Hollis

April 6, 2017

We are experiencing the Infinite Sadness.

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Previously on Survivor, we had plenty enough of J.T. We weren’t the only ones. His opponents on other tribes had used him as their puppet, causing his “allies” to consider him equal parts turncoat and secret-revealer. Either he turned on Nuku or he gave away their plan to another tribe, enabling the execution of the infinitely more preferable/popular Malcolm.

Also, Debbie failed completely at balance beams. Then, she claimed that someone else failed at balance beams instead. Finally, she did what everyone does on Survivor in that situation. She blamed Brad Culpepper, a man who to this very moment has no idea what the Hell he’d done. The answer was that he’d been standing near Debbie when she failed completely. So, it was his fault.

Survivor’s been weird this year. Also, the producers won’t stop meddling. We strongly expect that to continue in this episode.

Tonight begins with Aubry lamenting the recent turn of events, just as JT had the prior episode. Whereas he’d done wrong and was right to feel bad, Aubry’s only mistake was in believing everyone when they said that they’d keep the stronger player. She now appreciates that she has no allies in her own tribe, which is plenty bad enough. Her situation is magnified by the presence of Sandra, the Cloverfield Monster of Survivor. When Sandra wants someone gone, they vanish in a swath of hellfire.




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Aubry knows that she’s too small to earn the notice of Sandra thus far. Since she’s a woman without a country at the moment, her execution will be a matter of convenience rather than need. Still, Aubry is living on borrowed time, barring something unforeseen.

Hey look, it’s something unforeseen!

Survivor’s meddling producers are doing another tribe switch. After two weeks in rugged conditions, some of these folks might not even know which tribe they’re on at this point. Here’s how things change this time:

Nuku: Sandra, Sarah, Andrea, Ozzy, Zeke, Tai, and Jeff
Mana: Troyzan, Michaela, Sierra, Hali, Aubry, Cirie, and Brad Culpepper
Tavua: No longer exists
Debbie: Doesn’t get assigned to a tribe, which is a relief to anyone who knows her

Several things stand out about this turn of events. Aubry is orgasmic since she knew her fate was sealed under the prior regime. Sandra is apathetic, figuring she can hustle these suckers just as easily as she’s hustled the last two groups. She does understand that she has fewer allies at the moment, though. Tai is giddy since he just found an idol early that morning. Even if he winds up on the outs in his new tribe, he’s still safe for a while.

Debbie is ostracized, which may be the work of Survivor’s legal team after last week’s incident. She shouldn’t be trusted around strangers, especially not when knives and fires are readily available. Probst reveals that she’s heading to Exile Island. It really is Survivor’s Greatest Hits right now. We can’t wait for Eye of the Tiger. Anyway, Probst reveals that Debbie will join the losing tribe at Tribal Council tonight. She’s immune in that vote, which means we’re stuck with her for three more days. It’s like finding out there’s another Transformers movie coming out. We just can’t escape fate with Debbie. She’s a Survivor cockroach.


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