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Previously on Survivor, I took a week off from watching Survivor and reading Survivor-related recaps, so all I have to go on is this season's Wikipedia page and the outcome of Peter getting voted out – which was presumably the result of some Peter-related idiocy.

The title of this week’s episode is “It’s Merge Time,” which suggests three things. First, there’ll be a merge, so learning those tribe names last week was a waste of time and memory. Second, there are 11 players left, so six is the magic alliance number this week. And third, apparently the most interesting thing said this week is “it’s merge time,” so I can probably skip this episode too. After my experience this week, I can say that not watching the episode is a real time-saver!

Here are the power rankings for this week:

1. Jason

With four Brains and four Beauties, the three Brawns are once again the swing vote and can pick which side they want to go with. I think that will work out so Jason does the picking and Scot and Cydney just go along with whatever he thinks. It seems like pure luck that Jason is in this position despite being such a terrible player, so obviously his horseshoe-over-a-shamrock tattoo is paying dividends and we should all get them.

2. Scot

Scot knows where two of the three idols in the game are. With everyone who knows about it jazzed about the concept of a super-idol, I have a feeling that’s going to be instrumental in building an alliance between the Brawns and the Beauties.

3. Tai

Tai is the only person on the Beauty tribe that the other castaways (a) know and (b) like. He has an alliance with Scot, and was prepared to vote with him (and the majority) to vote out Julia, so he’s clearly not bound by the old tribe alliances. However, he’s such an individual that I wonder whether his other tribemates will be willing to go along with him if, say, he were to suggest three of the Beauties ally with the three Brawns. I think they see Tai as more a source of fun and mangoes than someone who can make strategic suggestions and put together an alliance.

4. Neal

The Brains alliance will be reunited after the merge, though this doesn’t leave them in a great position. With four people and no splitters in their alliance, their job is to convince two other people to go with them, and give that pair the security that they won’t be voted out first when six remain. Working with Julia and Michele is probably their best shot, but frankly I think there’s a better chance that the non-Brains will unite against them.

Neal has the Brain idol, and no one else knows about it. In an ordinary season, that would be the correct play, but this season you probably want some people to know you have an idol because other people with idols are more likely to team up with you.

5. Debbie

If no one learns about Neal's idol, the best option the Brains have for getting another vote may be for Debbie to use her womanly wiles on Nick. #prayforbrainstribe

6. Aubry

I’m looking forward to seeing what repercussions there are on Aubry for her vote, which was to write down Julia’s name, scrub it out and write "Peter" instead. If Peter were still in the game, the Brains would have needed only one extra vote for the merge, but it would have also meant keeping faith with someone who was openly trying to backstab your alliance the previous episode, while trying to convince someone to be your sixth vote with the line “hey, come and join our alliance with Peter, who you actively dislike." Anyway, I'm sure Aubry's alliance partners will say something like "shame we're down in the numbers, but maybe it was for the best."

7. Michele

I don’t know how happy Michele is with her options, but she and Julia are the only pair on the former Beauty tribe and they should find a way of making that count.

8. Julia

As I didn’t watch last week’s episode, I got to see more of Julia than in a normal week.

9. Joe

I think Joe’s decision to stick with Peter at the last vote shows that Joe feels he doesn’t have many options in the game.

10. Cydney

A couple of episodes ago, we learned that Cydney went to an Ivy League college. That particular Chekhov’s gun had better pay off at some point.

11. Nick

With the exception of Debbie, does anyone like Nick? I think whatever alliance Nick ends up in, he’ll be the last to join it.


Those are the power rankings for this week. Next time on Survivor, it’s merge time! Which means my predictions will probably fall apart, like every season.