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Survivor: Kaoh Rong - Power Rankings

Episode 3

By Ben Willoughby

March 9, 2016

I am apparently a contestant on Survivor this season.

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Previously on Survivor, there was a mature content warning for chicken murder.

Game-wise, Liz thought she was doing Debbie and Joe a solid by ensuring they "didn’t have to think about anything complicated," which ultimately led to her being voted out. Curse those troublesome people who don’t do what Liz says.

Here are the power rankings for this week:

Brawn

1. Jason

Jason claims to be possibly one of the best bounty hunters in south-east Michigan, and maybe even the best one who has a picture of an Acme Corporation bomb with the fuse lit tattooed on his elbow. He’s pretty open about steamrolling over Alecia to get his hands on the clue – for which he did nothing except stand around waiting for the key to drop, catch it and run off with it. But I suppose he was the one smart enough to do that, instead of fiddle around with a long pole.

2. Scot

Shout out to Scot for his Wonder Twins reference on finding out the new Super-Idol rules.

3. Cydney

Cydney is sneaky enough to find the box carrying the idol and the tool needed to get the key to open it, so I felt kind of robbed when she had to confess to the guys back at camp about where everything was located. Anyway, she proved her loyalty and maybe that will be worth something on Survivor. Ha ha, no.

4. Alecia

Alecia may be the worst Survivor player I've ever seen. Worse than Shambo. First she announces to Cydney that she has found an idol clue, and then believes Cydney when she tells her that she hasn’t found anything and Alecia should head back to camp. Even though she is such a terrible student of the game, Jason and Scott have made it so obvious that Alecia is at the bottom of the tribe, that I really hope Alecia makes it to the inevitable tribe switch and flips on them.


Beauty

1. Anna

Anna (the poker player) thinks Nick is a phony. It’s a good thing the other women on her tribe didn’t echo this, because there’d be nothing to differentiate them this week, either. Anna is #1 because she actually gets screen time.

2. Michelle

Three episodes in, and still the only thing I know about Michelle is that she’s a bartender.

3. Julia

Julia (the sorority girl) is completely missing in action. Nevertheless, the only strategy talk we’ve seen from the men on the tribe is how tight the three women are, and that's enough to get her ranked #3 on her tribe.

4. Caleb

Caleb and Tai killed a chicken together, so I guess the bromance continues. Couldn’t they have let Tai take a walk down the beach while that was going on? Anyway, Caleb is the one that the women have chosen to work with (for now), so I guess he’s in a stronger position than the other men.




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5. Tai

Tai managed to lose the tool to get the key, but MacGyvered another one and obtained the idol without anyone else on his tribe knowing. I do appreciate the extra amount of work the producers are putting the idol-hunters through this season. Anyway, Tai still seems unsure of his position on the tribe - he thinks they all like him, but he also thinks they don't trust him.

6. Nick

All we heard from Nick last episode was that “emotions hold you back,” which is probably one of his daily affirmations. I wonder how many life coaching clients he will have after this season has finished.


Brains

1. Neal

Neal has a bow-tie, which ordinarily I’d be disdainful about, but it’s an ice cream cone bow-tie that perfectly matches his ice cream cone pants. Congratulations Neal, for being one of the few people who wears a bow-tie in a non-formal situation that I approve of.

2. Debbie

Debbie says her strategy is to “sit back, shut up and gather intel," though from my viewing she’s only managed one of those things successfully. Fortunately, Debbie, that one is “gather intel”, and her strategy pays off as she refused to be played for a chump by Peter and Liz, and instead went with offbeat Neal of the ice cream cone pants and Aubry, who was last seen wearing big leaves in her hair. In a different season, they’d all be on a “no collar” tribe.

3. Aubry

Aubry’s screen time last episode mostly consisted of pushing to get rid of Peter over Liz and sitting out of the challenge.

4. Joe

Joe just seems to be along for Debbie’s ride at the moment. I do wonder how he is going to stick it out on a tribe dominated by weirdos, though I like his chances better with them than after a tribe switch.

5. Peter

Peter spent the episode saying things like “everyone else is like clay that we mold,” and other people on the tribe “require paternal direction.” And then, despite claiming to be a professional at social interaction, he goes to Tribal Council and talks openly about who is on which voting unit, where even Probst calls him out for “flat-out dictating what he would like to happen.” I get where Peter is coming from – he’s an ER doctor, and he’s trained for an environment where you lay out what needs to happen as simply as possible, you focus on the job at hand and don’t take things personally and also, where he’s in charge. But that’s a terrible combination for Survivor.


Those are the power rankings for this week. Next time on Survivor, everyone gets put on saline drips and Probst calls for a chopper! Medevac!


     


 
 

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