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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie by comparing the new releases for the upcoming month in this column. Then, I’ll tell you which movie you should watch this month in the theaters.

I used to compare the movies every week, but thought this would be more fun (and who has the money to see a movie in the theaters every weekend?). What could go wrong with this plan? Well, a movie could change its release date after the column was written, or a BOP reader could go through withdrawal by only getting one column from me each month.

For the month of December 2015, the new movies in wide release are as follows:

December 4:
Krampus

December 11:
In the Heart of the Sea

December 18:
Alvin and the Chipmunks The Road Chip
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

December 25:
Concussion
Daddy’s Home
Joy
Point Break
The Big Short

I predict a movie’s watchability by seven criteria. For each criterion, I am going to rank these movies from the best to the worst. If a movie get first place in a category, it will get one point. The lower the ranking, the more points it will get (like golf). Then, I’ll calculate the best movies to watch this month at the end of the column.


CLEAREST TITLE (Is the title recognizable or unique enough to make me watch the movie)
1- Star Wars: The Force Awakens - Everyone has heard of this title
2- Alvin and the Chipmunks The Road Chip - May not be your movie, but recognizable.
3- Point Break - This movie came out in the early 90’s!
4- Daddy’s Home - Horrible title, but unique
4- Krampus - Not sure what this means, but also unique.
4- Concussion - Simple title, but effective
4- In the Heart of the Sea - Long poetic title, meh.
5- Joy - I hope this is a sequel to Inside Out!
5- The Big Short - ?

BEST GENRE & RATING (elevated status if you are the only genre or rating for the entire month)
1- Krampus - (PG-13 Horror, Comedy)
1- Alvin and the Chipmunks The Road Chip - (PG, Animation Adventure)
2- The Big Short - (R, Drama Biography)
3- Daddy’s Home - (PG-13, Comedy)
3- Star Wars: The Force Awakens (PG-13, Sci-Fi Action)
4- Point Break - (PG-13, Crime Sport)
4- Concussion - (PG-13, Drama Sport)
4- In the Heart of the Sea - (PG-13, Action Biography)
4- Joy - (PG-13, Biography Dramedy)

BEST PLOT (in ten syllables)
1- Krampus - Evil Santa spirit terrorizes.
2- Concussion - Doctor’s brain research makes NFL freak.
2- In the Heart of the Sea - The true story that inspired Moby Dick.
3- Alvin and the Chipmunks The Road Chip - Three chipmunks travel to stop a wedding.
3- Star Wars: The Force Awakens - More Star Wars saga. The plot TBD.
4- Point Break - FBI surfer joins crime group, does sports
4- The Big Short - 4 guys. Take on all the banks. True story.
5- Joy - Normal woman. Big invention. True story.
5- Daddy’s Home - Dad and Stepdad fight for kids love. Funny.

BEST TRAILER (Higher rankings if your trailer makes me care about the movie and want to watch it! So comedies, be funny. Horror movies, be scary. Action movies, don’t be lame.)
1- Joy
2- Star Wars: The Force Awakens
3- Krampus
4- The Big Short
5- In the Heart of the Sea
6- Concussion
7- Point Break
8- Daddy’s Home
9- Alvin and the Chipmunks The Road Chip

COOLEST LEAD ACTOR
1- Joy - (Jennifer Lawrence, Hunger Games)
2- Star Wars: The Force Awakens - (Harrison Ford, Indiana Jones)
3- Daddy’s Home - (Will Ferrell, Anchorman)
4- Concussion - (Will Smith, Men in Black)
5- The Big Short - (Christian Bale, The Dark Knight)
6- In the Heart of the Sea - (Chris Hemsworth, Thor)
7- Krampus - (Adam Scott, Parks and Recreation)
8- Alvin and the Chipmunks The Road Chip - (Tony Hale, Arrested Development)
9- Point Break - (Luke Bracey, G.I. Joe Retaliation)

BEST CAST
1- Star Wars: The Force Awakens - (Mark Hamill, Carrie Fischer, Simon Pegg, Andy Serkis, Lupita Nyong’o)
2- The Big Short - (Brad Pitt, Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Marisa Tomei)
3- Joy - (Bradley Cooper, Robert DeNiro)
4- Alvin and the Chipmunks The Road Chip - (Anna Faris, Kaley Cuoco, Christina Applegate, Justin Long, Jesse McCartney)
5- Daddy’s Home - (Mark Wahlberg, Linda Cardellini, Thomas Haden Church, Hannibal Buress)
6- Concussion - (Alec Baldwin, Luke Wilson, Stephen Moyer)
7- Krampus - (Toni Collette, David Koechner, Conchata Ferrell)
8- In the Heart of the Sea - (Cillian Murphy. Brendan Gleeson)
9- Point Break - (Ray Winstone)

BEST STREET CRED (what else has the director directed)
1- In the Heart of the Sea - (Ron Howard, Apollo 13)
1- Star Wars: The Force Awakens - (J.J. Abrams, Star Trek)
1- Joy - (David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook)
2- The Big Short - (Adam McKay, Anchorman)
3- Daddy’s Home - (Sean Anders, Horrible Bosses 2)
3- Alvin and the Chipmunks The Road Chip - (Walt Becker, Old Dogs)
3- Point Break - (Ericson Core, Invincible)
4- Concussion - (Peter Landesman, Parkland)
4- Krampus - (Michael Dougherty, Trick ‘r Treat)

The Results: I’ll list the points each movie received in each of the 7 rounds. Like golf, the lowest total score will show the best movie to watch this month.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you liked the movie The Other Guys, feel free to watch Daddy’s Home. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: If you are going to see one new movie in the theaters this December, you should go and see Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
Conclusion 2: If you are made of money and can see more than one movie, feel free to check out Joy.
Conclusion 3: Then depending on your taste, you may either want to watch Big Short or Krampus.
Conclusion 4: The gold star for the movie with the best tagline this month goes to Alvin and the Chipmunks The Road Chip’s “Fast & Furry-ous.”
Conclusion 5: Happy Holidays!