New at BOP: Review: Matrix Resurrections Movie Review: Moonfall Movie Reviews: Scream The #1 Movie in America November Forecast The Many Saints of Newark October Forecast New Trivia Question All site updates Share & Save   Tweet Print this column

“I’ll put on sparkles next time,” Grayson promises sarcastically.

“The carrot soup was simple,” Padma points out.

“You can be simple and still exciting,” Gail adds.

Applying Rule #1, I really think that either Angelina or Grayson is going home. Neither had a well-conceived dish, neither showed real ambition, and neither (it seems) has the chops necessary to make a deep run in this competition. There’s no real wrong choice available for the judges. Angelina and Grayson are prime examples of when being mediocre is simply less than mediocre.

“If you think this kitchen is crowded,” Tom says, “think about all the thousands of restaurants and hundreds of thousands of chefs out there. Think about why chefs stand out - great technique, taking something simple and making it exciting, and telling your own story. Those are all things needed to win, and things needed to make a restaurant stand out in a crowded field.” He casts a pointed look around the room. “Just a piece of advice.”

And the cheftestant leaving the show tonight is… Garret! WHOA. I am totally, totally shocked. “It was a more exciting dish,” Tom explains, “but it was the only one with a real mistake.” That’s a fair point.

Meanwhile, Garret is wasting no time saying goodbye to the judges and bidding farewell to the other cheftestants. He clearly has no interest in prolonging this experience now that he’s officially out of the running.

The chefs slowly make their way back to the stew room. “One little thing sends you home,” one muses. The silence that meets this statement more than demonstrates how much the point is hitting home. Burn some garlic and you too could be out. Hipster Phillip comments that he had initially thought of Top Chef as something akin to a vacation. That’s right, Phillip. It’s the only type of vacation where you pack knives in your carry on.

The next morning, the cheftestants receive a letter from Padma. “Please meet me on the roof.” As ominous, grey clouds hang overhead (hey, I thought those don’t exist in SoCal), Padma reminds them of her previous warning that the first few days would be intense. “We want you to get to know LA a little better,” she says, “so your next challenge will have you opening four pop-ups across the city.”

“Today.”

One chef’s reaction says it all: “Holy f*.”

Continued:       1       2       3       4       5