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Previously on Survivor, there were seven episodes featuring a total of seven tribes, so praise Cthulhu that the merge came early and we don’t have to track who was on which tribe any more. Everyone left in the game wondered why the merge was coming with 13 players still in the game, but I’m sure it was to make all these terrible players feel better about themselves. "Yay! We made the merge! We're not total losers!"

Anyway, after a discussion with Tasha, Kass decided that people playing Survivor would be offended at someone actually lying! To Kass! Claude Rains is shocked, shocked to find that lying is going on here! Tasha’s lies didn’t turn out to be the smoking gun Kass was looking for and everyone decided to vote her out instead, though to her credit Kass took responsibility for completely ruining her own game. At the time of writing, Jim was unavailable for comment because he was dancing a jig.

Here are the power rankings for the week.

1. Joe

At the moment, Joe is saying that he doesn’t want to limit his options. On the one hand, this is absolutely the correct move. There are still 13 players left in the game, and seven is too big an alliance. For the time being, it’s exactly as Spencer said – that people could vote one way tonight, and then tomorrow is a different game. But at the same time, we all know that on Survivor, you never say “I want to keep my options open,” because it makes you a target. And that’s why Joe is at #1 – he’s the biggest target out there.

2. Jeremy

We didn’t see a lot of Jeremy last episode, but he is looking pretty comfortable right now.

3. Savage

According to Savage, everyone else on his tribe is a professional liar and “pieces of s---,” unlike Savage who is playing with honor and is only lying for the good of his game. Savage was worried that he would have to act like “a wimpy little non-leader” – code for “I'm used to telling other people what to do” – to stay in the game. Sadly, we didn’t get to see this and will have to keep putting up with Savage’s terrible leadership.

4. Tasha

Tasha wanted her revenge on Kass, and she got it. I wonder what everyone else thinks about it, though. Out of the Jeremy-led alliance, I think Tasha and Savage may be the only ones to think about not following orders.

5. Fishbach

If Stephen wanted to fit in with all the scary alpha males on his tribe, reciting a poem while everyone else covers their mouths to avoid hurting his feelings is the wrong way to go about it. Stephen’s just lucky that Jeremy, Joe and Savage didn’t team up to give him a pink belly.

6. Kimmi

There was nothing gross to eat this week so we barely saw Kimmi, but she is sticking close to Jeremy’s alliance.

7. Keith

Keith is just going along with whatever. He’s in an alliance but I don’t think anyone sees him as anything more than an available vote.

8. Wiglesworth

There was a Wiglesworth sighting this episode, and even more surprising – she was discussing strategy! Wiglesworth and Keith are exactly the players that you want to have at the bottom of your too-large alliance. Even if they realize that they are #6 and #7, I doubt they are going to risk stirring things up for anyone.

9. Kelley

Kelley flipped at the last minute to go along with the vote for Kass, so now no one really trusts her. She’s fortunate there are some other floaters like Joe and Spencer that she can build an alliance with down the road.

10. Spencer

Jeremy already has a Fishbach, so his alliance doesn’t have room for a second person who wants to talk strategy. After voting out the only other person willing to play with him, Spencer got desperate enough to try bonding with Joe through football metaphors. Poor, lonely Spencer.

11. Abi

Abi has been in silent mode for three episodes. It’s as though someone flicked her off switch, or at least her volume control.

12. Ciera

If Ciera achieved anything last episode, it was to make herself seem even more chaotic than Kass. Savage is taking her vote against him personally – though when she tells everyone that he is gunning for Jeremy, I can’t really blame him – and she would make for an easy next boot. But why waste your vote on the lowest person on the tribe when you can get rid of a real threat?


Next Time On Survivor, everyone gets extremely paranoid as they all dream of making that big move on Day 22 that will allow whoever pulls it off to coast all the way to Day 39!


Those are the power rankings for this week. Tune in tonight to see the madness unfold, and then come back here later in the week to read Jim’s recap.