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Previously on Survivor, Ta Keo was confident, Bayon was building relationships and Angkor were losers stuck on a terrible beach. Mentally exhausted and completely spent, they decided to stick with that pattern by voting off Varner and spending six hours a day telling Abi how much they like her.

Varner’s hyperactive game was a lot of fun to watch, especially since it was so long since he had played that he seemed like a non-returning player. However, his open scheming was never going to be sustainable over the long term. Thanks for livening up what could have been a very boring couple of opening episodes. RIP Varner’s pinkie toe.

Here are the power rankings after Week 4:

Ta Keo

Who knows where the internal divisions at Ta Keo lie? Kass is making Kelley birthday charm necklaces, for Frigg’s sake! Everything is harmonious there, and will continue to be for the foreseeable future.

1. Joe

Joe is still #1 in Probst’s heart after picking up big puzzle blocks by himself while blindfolded and carrying them. Meanwhile Dietz is “waiting for an invitation to dance.”

2. Kelley

Kelley still has that idol. Plus, it’s better to be the one receiving a birthday charm necklace than the one making them.

3. Kass

“Everythone thought I was going to come in here and be a little turd,” says Kass, who is losing points with me for not delivering on this. Now Varner is gone, we need another pot-stirrer. Well, one not named Abi. There’s such a thing as a happy medium.

4. Dietz

I wonder if Dietz is by the phone, waiting for Probst to call. “Text me, bro!”

5. Keith

No sign of Keith. On the plus side for him, that probably means he’s not doing anything stupid – because we’d certainly see it if he had.

6. Ciera

Sat out another challenge.

Bayon

1. Jeremy

To cover that he has an idol, Jeremy sent poor Fishbach out to climb trees. More evidence that everyone is looking to Jeremy as the tribe leader. But Jeremy knows enough about Survivor to realize that they will come for him one day, and he wants poor tree-climbing Fishbach to be the one to tell him.

2. Monica

Monica actually made an appearance this week, fake-bonding with Spencer before interviewing that Spencer is sneaky and she wants him gone. She feels she would be safer in an all-female alliance. This is probably mistaken as her allies would be Kimmi and Wiglesworth. Anyway, she’s ranked higher than she probably should be because we are seeing her actively play the game.

3. Kimmi

You’d think someone as noisy as Kimmi would be making more of an impression.

4. Wiglesworth

The rest of Bayon have abbreviated Wiglesworth to “Wigles,” an indication of contempt.

5. Spencer

We saw Spencer basically win his tribe immunity and continue to work his social game at Bayon by tring to throw Wiglesworth under the bus. Still, no one that we’ve seen is actively gunning for Wiglesworth, who also seems to have allies on other tribes. None of that is true for Spencer, so that’s why he’s at #5.

6. Fishbach

Fishbach is the tribe Gilligan.


Angkor

1. Tasha

As the episode opened, we saw Tasha buttering up Woo, saying that he didn’t have to feel worried and that Varner should have been the one to go as he is the origin of all the drama on the tribe. Oh, Tasha, surely not all? But karma is quick once again this season as Abi immediately appeared to tell Tasha how uncomfortable she feels that someone who voted for her was taken aside for a quiet chat.

2. Savage

Savage found vindication in winning the reward challenge, because ever since Pearl Islands he had wondered if he given everything he had. Of course, he basically collapsed at the next challenge and waited for the other tribe to beat him, so is he going to spend the rest of his life wondering about that challenge?

3. Abi

It’s great how Angkor is an absolute disaster and yet Abi is all “I don’t know what the problem is, I just keep getting stuck on crappy tribes.” I think she wants to be the only one playing Survivor – everyone on her tribe has to have a personal relationship with her, or apologize personally with her. Everyone has to listen to what she thinks all the time, and there is no going off having side conversations with everyone.

And yet – “it feels good to be wanted,” she says. “I am going with people who value my personality and what I bring to the table,” she sincerely believes. She even got all gushy when Varner was saying how much he misses his “Abi time” and made Bieber hand-hearts at him as he was walking out. Bleargh! This sickening behavior has to end!

Having Abi in your alliance is like playing hearts and keeping the queen of spades in your hand. If you can unleash her on another player at the right moment, the results are devastating. But holding onto her is a nerve-wracking experience that can blow back on you without warning.

4. Woo

When do you think Woo’s votes for Abi will stop just feeling personal and actually get personal? Keep fighting, Woo.

Those are the power rankings for the week. Next week on Survivor there’s a lot of chaos, so don’t even bother tuning in, just come back here and let Jim explain it all.