New at BOP: Review: Matrix Resurrections Movie Review: Moonfall Movie Reviews: Scream The #1 Movie in America November Forecast The Many Saints of Newark October Forecast New Trivia Question All site updates Share & Save   Tweet Print this column

New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the past six years, I have compared the new releases for each weekend and told you which movie was the best bet to watch. This month I am going to attempt to compare the new releases for the entire month of August and rank them in the order you should watch them. What could go wrong? (Well, a movie could change its release date after this column was written, a BOP reader could go through withdrawal by only getting one column from me this month, etc.)

For the month of August 2015, the new movies in wide release are as follows:

August 7th:
Fantastic Four
The Gift
Ricki and the Flash
Shaun the Sheep Movie

August 14th:
The Man from U.N.C.L.E
Straight Outta Compton
Underdogs

August 21st:
American Ultra
Hitman: Agent 47

August 28th:
Regression
Sinister 2
We Are Your Friends

I predict a movie’s watchability by seven criteria. For each criterion, I am going to rank these movies from the best to the worst. Then I’ll calculate the best movies to watch this month at the end of the column.

CLEAREST TITLE (Is the title recognizable or unique enough to make me watch the movie)
1- Fantastic Four - I know those superheroes!
2- Sinister 2 - A horror sequel
3- Hitman: Agent 47 - This movie will have secret agents and guns
4- Straight Outta Compton - I will most likely get street cred for watching this movie
5- Shaun the Sheep Movie - That sounds cute
6- Underdogs - Could be funny or inspiring?
7- Regression - One word movie titles are usually thriller-esque
8- Ricki and the Flash - I don’t know what that means, but it sounds unique
9- The Man from U.N.C.L.E - I don’t know what that means, but it sounds unique
10- American Ultra - Meh title, but ultra sounds epic
11- We Are Your Friends - Okay.
12- The Gift - Horribly lame title.


BEST GENRE & RATING (elevated status if you are the only genre or rating for the entire month)
1- Straight Outta Compton - (Music/Bio, R)
2- Sinister 2 - (Horror, R)
2- Fantastic Four (SciFi/Action, PG-13)
2- Ricki and the Flash- (Dramedy, PG-13)
3- We Are Your Friends - (Drama/Music, R)
3- American Ultra - (Action/Comedy, R)
3- Shaun the Sheep Movie - (Animation, PG)
3- Underdogs - (Animation, PG)
3- The Gift - (Mystery/Thriller, R)
3- Hitman: Agent 47 (Action, R)
3- The Man from U.N.C.L.E - (Action, PG-13)
3- Regression - (Thriller, Not yet rated)

BEST PLOT (in ten syllables)
1- Shaun the Sheep Movie - Sheep has fun day. Problems. Has to get home.
2- Underdogs - Foosball players come to life. Adventure.
3- Straight Outta Compton - The true story of NWA
4- American Ultra - Feds want to kill a stoner, but they can’t.
5- Ricki and the Flash- Rock-and-roll girl has family issues.
6- We Are Your Friends - A D.J. wants to become successful.
7- The Gift - Couple gets gifts from guy. Secrets revealed.
8- Regression - Man accused of crime. Has no memory.
9- Hitman: Agent 47 - Agent/woman team up. Solve mystery.
10- Fantastic Four - Superheroes form team. Have to save Earth.
11- Sinister 2 - Mom/Sons move to haunted house. Bad idea.
12- The Man from U.N.C.L.E - Two agents team up to fight the bad guys.

BEST TRAILER (Higher rankings if your trailer makes me care about the movie and want to watch it! So, comedies, be funny. Horror movies, be scary. Action movies, don’t be lame.)

1- American Ultra
2- Hitman: Agent 47
3- Ricki and the Flash
4- Straight Outta Compton
5- Fantastic Four
6- We Are Your Friends
7- Regression
8- The Gift
9- Sinister 2
10- The Man from U.N.C.L.E
11- Underdogs
12- Shaun the Sheep Movie

COOLEST LEAD ACTOR
1- Regression - (Emma Watson from Harry Potter!)
2- Ricki and the Flash (Meryl Streep from everything)
3- American Ultra (Jesse Eisenberg from The Social Network)
4- The Gift (Jason Bateman from Arrested Development)
5- The Man from U.N.C.L.E (Henry Cavill from Man of Steel)
6- We Are Your Friends (Zac Efron from High School Musical)
7- Fantastic Four (Michael B. Jordan from Fruitvale Station)
8- Hitman: Agent 47 (Zachary Quinto from Star Trek)
9- Underdogs - (the voice of Ariana Grande, the singer)
10- Sinister 2 (I don’t recognize the actors yet)
10- Straight Outta Compton (I don’t recognize the actors yet)
10- Shaun the Sheep Movie (I don’t recognize the voices)


BEST CAST
1- American Ultra (Kristen Stewart, Topher Grace, John Leguizamo, Connie Britton, and more)
2- The Man from U.N.C.L.E (Armie Hammer, Hugh Grant)
3- Ricki and the Flash (Kevin Kline, Audra McDonald)
4- Regression (Ethan Hawke)
5- Fantastic Four (Miles Teller, Kate Mara)
6- The Gift (Joel Edgerton)
7- Underdogs (The voices of Matthew Morrison, Nicholas Hoult, Katie Holmes)
8- We Are Your Friends (Wes Bentley)
9- Sinister 2 (Didn’t recognize anyone else)
9- Hitman: Agent 47 (Didn’t recognize anyone else)
9- Straight Outta Compton (Didn’t recognize anyone else)
9- Shaun the Sheep Movie (Didn’t recognize anyone else)

BEST STREET CRED (what else has the director directed?)
1- Ricki and the Flash (Jonathan Demme, The Silence of the Lambs)
2- Straight Outta Compton (F. Gary Gary, The Italian Job)
3- The Man from U.N.C.L.E (Guy Ritchie, Sherlock Holmes)
4- Regression (Alejandro Amenabar, The Others)
5- Underdogs (Juan Jose Campenella, directed a ton of tv shows)
6- American Ultra (Nima Nourizadeh, Project X)
7- Fantastic Four (Josh Trank, Chronicle)
8- We Are Your Friends (Max Joseph, directed a lot of short films)
9- Sinister 2 (Ciaran Foy, Citadel)
10- The Gift (Joel Edgerton, acted in a ton of movies)
11- Shaun the Sheep Movie (Richard Starzak and Mark Burton, first directing gig)
11- Hitman: Agent 47 (Aleksander Bach, his first directing gig)

The Results: I’ll list the points each movie received in each of the seven rounds. Like golf, the lowest total score will show the best movie to watch this month.

---

	Title	Genre	Plot	Trailer	Actor	Cast	Cred	Total
Ricki	8	2	5	3	2	3	1	24
American	10	3	4	1	3	1	6	28
Straight	4	1	3	4	10	9	2	33
Regress	7	3	8	7	1	4	4	34
FFour	1	2	10	5	7	5	7	37
Under	6	3	2	11	9	7	5	43
UNCLE	9	3	12	10	5	2	3	44
Hitman	3	3	9	2	8	9	11	45
Friends	11	3	6	6	6	8	8	48
Gift	12	3	7	8	4	6	10	50
Shaun	5	3	1	12	10	9	11	51
Sinister	2	2	11	9	10	9	9	52

---

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you are a fan of horror films, feel free to watch Sinister 2. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: If you are going to see one new movie in the theaters this August, you should go and see Ricki and the Flash.
Conclusion 2: If you are made of money and can see more than one movie, feel free to check out American Ultra and Straight Outta Compton.
Conclusion 3: I really liked the trailer for Hitman: Agent 47, even though it ranked eighth this month. That would have been my personal fourth place choice.
Conclusion 4: The gold stars for the movies with the best taglines this month go to American Ultra’s “Everyone’s Getting Smoked” and Sinister 2’s “Be Careful. Children at Play.”
Conclusion 5: Do you know the singular form of criteria? I do now that I wrote this column.