This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison for the new releases for July 31 - August 2, 2015

By Curt David

July 30, 2015

Are we sure this isn't Wax Museum Tom Cruise?

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the weekend of July 31st, the new movies in wide release are Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation and Vacation.






Mission Impossible - Rogue NationVacationWINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleAnother Mission: Impossible movieYes, I would like one of thoseMission: Impossible gets this point.
Best Genre
and Rating
Action
Rated PG-13 for sequences of action and violence, and brief partial nudity
Comedy
Rated R for crude and sexual content and language throughout, and brief graphic nudity
They’ll split this point.
Best Plot
(in haiku form)
Good guys need to fight
Or bad guys will do bad things
Stunts, Action, and guns
Guy takes family
On road trip. Lots can go wrong
Comedy ensues
Not the most unique plots. They can split this point too.
Best TrailerPROS: There were tons of money shots, which make this look better than the average action movie
CONS: I didn’t quite get the plot
PROS: I actually laughed during the trailer, which I normally don’t do for movies billed as “comedies”
CONS: Movie may or may not be funnier than the trailer
Both trailers were better than I expected. Let’s split this one as well.
Coolest Lead ActorTom Cruise.Ed Helms from The Hangover and The Office.Tom Cruise is one of the most consistent and talented actors. I don’t know why jumping on a couch gave him a bad rep. Point.
Best CastSimon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead), Jeremy Renner (The Avengers), Alec Baldwin (30 Rock), and Ving Rhames (Pulp Fiction)Christina Applegate (Anchorman), Chris Hemsworth (The Avengers), Chevy Chase (Vacation), Charlie Day (Horrible Bosses), and many moreThe casts can split this point.
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Writer and Director Christopher McQuarrie also wrote and directed Jack Reacher.Co-writer and co-director John Francis Daley also wrote Horrible Bosses.And why not- let’s split this point as well.




So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation scores 4 and 1/2 points and Vacation scores 2 and 1/2 points (and a gold star).

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you watched Horrible Bosses 2, feel free to watch Vacation. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. I couldn’t find one for Mission: Impossible, so Vacation will win with “What Could Go Wrong?”
Conclusion 3: John Francis Daley was the main character on Freaks and Geeks!




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