This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison for the new releases for June 5-7, 2015

By Curt David

June 5, 2015

Ghosts always choose the people who decorate their beds with Christmas lights. Duh.

New at BOP:
Share & Save
Digg Button  
Print this column
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the weekend of June 5th, the new movies in wide release are Entourage, Insidious Chapter 3, and Spy.





EntourageInsidious Chapter 3SpyWINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleBased on the TV show?The next Insidious sequel?A movie about a spy?Turns out Insidious is actually a prequel, but whatev; it’ll split the point with Entourage
Best Genre
and Rating		Comedy
Rated R for pervasive language, strong sexual content, nudity and some drug use		Horror
Rated PG-13 for violence, frightening images, some language and thematic elements		Action Comedy
Rated R for language throughout, violence, and some sexual content including brief graphic nudity		The non-comedy will win this point.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)		Vince: famous actor
Does a lot with entourage
That’s the main plot line		Girl in haunted house
Exorcist comes to save her
Yada, Yada, Ya		Girl wants to be spy
Gets her chance. Out of her league.
Comedy ensues. 		These plots don’t sound that enticing. 1/3 point each.
Best Part of TrailerPROS: The latest trailer I saw made me care about the plot and characters, even though I never saw the TV show
CONS: The trailers I saw two months ago did not make me care about plot or characters...hope more people saw the new trailer		PROS: It had loud noises, spooks, and screams
CONS: But what movie doesn’t? 		PROS: It made me laugh out loud! (It is really tough for a trailer to do that to me.) And has Melissa McCarthy!
CONS: But what movie doesn’t? 		Spy definitely, definitely, wins this point.
Coolest Lead ActorAdrian Grenier from The Devil Wears Prada.Dermot Mulroney from My Best Friend’s Wedding.Melissa McCarthy from Bridesmaids, The Heat, and Gilmore Girls.Melissa definitely, definitely, wins this point.
Best CastKevin Dillon (Platoon), Jeremy Piven (Old School), and seriously a ton of famous cameosI don’t recognize the rest of the cast yet.Jude Law (Sherlock Holmes), Rose Byrne (Bridesmaids), Jason Statham (Crank), and other famous folks!Spy will win this point too!
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Writer and director Doug Ellin also wrote and directed the TV show Entourage. Writer and Director Leigh Whannell also wrote the Saw movies. Writer and Director Paul Feig also wrote and directed The Heat and Bridesmaids.Closer race, but Spy will also win this one!



So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Spy scores 4 and 1/3 points, Insidious Chapter 3 scores 1 and 5/6 points (and a gold star), and Entourage scores 5/6 point.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you liked Entourage or the previous Insidious movies, feel free to watch one of them. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Spy is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. I couldn’t find one for Spy, so Insidious Chapter 3’s “This is how you die” will beat out Entourage’s “Dream Large. Live Larger.”
Conclusion 3: I used to have a goal to appear in a movie. I now have a goal to be cast in a Melissa McCarthy movie.



Advertisement


     


 
 

Need to contact us? E-mail a Box Office Prophet.
Friday, April 26, 2024
© 2024 Box Office Prophets, a division of One Of Us, Inc.