This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison for the new releases for May 22-24, 2015

By Curt David

May 24, 2015

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the weekend of May 22nd, the new movies in wide release are Poltergeist and Tomorrowland.






PoltergeistTomorrowlandWINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleWait, isn’t this already a famous movie?Is this a Disney World ride?Poltergeist wins this round.
Best Genre
and Rating
Horror
Rated PG-13 for intense frightening sequences, brief suggestive material, and some language
Sci-fi Action
Rated PG for sequences of sci-fi action violence and peril, thematic elements, and language
They split the point for having different genres and ratings.
Best Plot
(in haiku form)
Evil spirits come
Wreak havoc on family
Scariness happens
Girl visits strange land
Robots attack. She escapes
It’s Tomorrowland
Plots split the point for having so-so plots.
Best TrailerPROS: A remake of a famous movie
CONS: Or is "a remake of a famous movie" a con?
PROS: Has George Clooney, big budget, and nice CGI
CONS: It didn’t seem as exciting as it was supposed to
Poltergeist had a better trailer. Point.
Coolest Lead ActorSam Rockwell from Iron Man 2 and Charlie’s Angels.George Clooney from Batman & Robin, Ocean’s 11, and Gravity. Clooney wins this point.
Best CastRosemarie DeWitt (The Watch)Hugh Laurie, Tim McGraw, Keegan-Michael Key, and Judy GreerTomorrowland wins this point.
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Director Gil Kenan also directed Monster House. Writer and Director Brad Bird also directed Ratatouille, The Incredibles, and Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol. And Mr. Bird will win this point.




So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Tomorrowland scores 4 points and Poltergeist scores 3 points and a gold star.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like horror movies, feel free to watch Poltergeist. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Tomorrowland is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. I couldn’t find one for Tomorrowland, so Poltergeist’s “They know what scares you,” wins the point.
Conclusion 3: To Keegan-Michael Key: Go State!




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