This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison for the new releases for January 9-11, 2015

By Curt David

January 11, 2015

Aren't you the last king of Scotland?

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

Also, for the next month I’ll tell you why Andy Serkis should be nominated for Box Office Prophet’s Calvin Awards (click here for more info) as Best Actor.

For the weekend of Jan 9th, the new movies in wide release are Taken 3 and Selma.






Taken 3SelmaWINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleThe third Taken movie.A movie about Selma?Taken 3 gets the point for most recognizable title.
Best Genre
and Rating
Action
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, and for brief strong language
Biography
Rated PG-13 for disturbing thematic material including violence, a suggestive moment, and brief strong language
Two different genres. 1/2 point each.
Best Plot
(in haiku form)
Guy’s wife is murdered
CIA thinks he did it
Escapes. Finds bad guys.
MLK Jr.
Bloody march to capital
To get rights to vote
Selma has the best plot for sure. Point.
Best TrailerPROS: It’s a third Taken film with no one being taken! (Because that would be cheesy.) And great action.
CONS: None, if you like the first two movies.
PROS: Looks superbly acted and well-done, and chronicles an important, and disturbing, part of our history
CONS: None, if you are American.
Selma had a better trailer for sure. Point.
Coolest Lead ActorLiam Neeson from Schindler’s List and Batman Begins.David Oyelowo from Jack Reacher and Interstellar. Liam Neeson wins this point.
Best CastForest Whitaker (The Butler) and Famke Janssen (X-men)Oprah Winfrey, among others. Each movie scores 1/2 point each.
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Director Olivier Megaton also directed Taken 2 and Columbiana. Director Ava DuVernay also directed Middle of Nowhere. Both directors score 1/2 point each.



So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, both movies score 3 and 1/2 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you are excited about a third Taken film, feel free to watch that. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, both movies are the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline, which serves as a tiebreaker. Taken 3’s “It Ends Here” loses to Selma’s “One Dream Can Change The World.” So Selma wins this week’s column.
Conclusion 3: Seven reasons why Andy Serkis should win BOP’s Best Actor Calvin award. #7: He was Gollum and Caesar from Planet of the Apes! #6: He won eighth Place Lead Actor Calvin Award for Rise of the Planet of the Apes. #5: If he got eighth place for that film, surely he should get first place for Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. #4: And isn’t it about time to start recognizing stop-motion acting! #3: And he’s more than a supporting actor, even if his movie campaigned him that way. #2: And just because all the award shows aren’t nominating him, does that mean we automatically shouldn’t, if he deserves it? #1: And most importantly, he’s just as good as any peer in his category.




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