This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison for the new releases for November 7-9, 2014

By Curt David

November 7, 2014

Arsenal should sign him.

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some movies sound awesome (Jack the Giant Slayer), but then do not do too well commercially. Other movies star your celebrity crush (Mariah Carey in Glitter), but then do not get much love critically. Still other movies are recommended by friends (but friends can be idiots). And if you are like 58%* of people, you are not even aware of which movies are being released, yet alone which movies you should pay your hard earned money on.

I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the weekend of Nov. 7th, the new movies in wide release are Big Hero 6 and Interstellar.







Big Hero 6 InterstellarWINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleDid I miss the first five Big Heroes? “Occurring between stars” is the defintion, not bad. Interstellar must be a better title than the sixth Big Hero movie...point.
Best Genre
and Rating
Animation
Rated PG for action and peril, some rude humor, and thematic elements.
Thriller
Rated PG-13 for some intense perilous action and brief strong language.
1/2 point each for different genres and ratings.
Best Plot
(in haiku form)
There is a robot
Looks like giant marshmallow
Has to save the world
World is gonna die
Astronauts have to save it
By going to space
Both save-the-world plots, both 1/2 point each.
Best TrailerPROS: It looks like an animated movie that adults would want to watch too, Disney, heart, action, humor...gots it all.
CONS: Perhaps none.
PROS: Well, the trailer was boring...but everyone is saying the movie is going to be amazing.
CONS: Well, the critics say there won’t be a con, but nothing happened in that trailer.
Big Hero 6 (which turns out isn’t a sequel) wins the best trailer point, and I don’t care who argues with me.
Coolest Lead ActorI don’t recognize many actors behind the voices of the cast. Matthew McConaughey from A Time to Kill and Dallas Buyers Club.Matthew McConaughey wins this point.
Best CastThe voices of Maya Rudolph (Bridesmaids) and Billy Bush (Access Hollywood)Anne Hathaway (Les Mis), Jessica Chastain (The Help), Matt Damon, Casey Affleck, Michael Caine, Topher Grace, Ellen Burstyn, and John Lithgow. And the cast of Interstellar wins this point.
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Writer and director Don Hall also wrote Tarzan, Brother Bear, and Winnie the Pooh.Writer and director Christopher Nolan also wrote and directed Memento, The Dark Knight, and Inception. And Don Hall has some impressive work, but Christopher Nolan wins this point.




So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Interstellar scores 5 points (and a gold star) and Big Hero 6 scores 2 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you want to see the next Disney movie after Frozen and Tangled, feel free to watch Big Hero 6. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Interstellar is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. I couldn’t find one for Big Hero 6, so Interstellar’s “Mankind’s next step will be our greatest” will win.
Conclusion 3: Two weeks until the next Hunger Games movie!

*Statistic is completely made up.





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