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For their first quickfire, the cheftestants will be treated to one of the most iconic and riveting quickfires the show puts on: the Mise En Place Relay Race! The group will be divided into four teams, based on where they happened to be standing, and each person will be tasked with either breaking down (1) three lobsters, (2) 10 oysters, (3) eight Boston mackerel, or (4) 21 little neck clams. The slowest person on the slowest team will be up for elimination.

The chefs argue amongst themselves as to who will take which item. I can imagine how frustrating this is - the chefs know little-to-nothing about each other, and thus can’t pull rank based on demonstrated skill. Instead, the biggest, most emphatic chefs seem to get their way. I imagine this will end up biting some of the teams in the butt. For example, on the Red Team, George says that he really wants to do the mackerel. But then Gregory says that he really wants to do the mackerel. And George says that he can do mackerel faster and doesn’t really know how to open clams. But he gets stuck with clams anyways.

The Quickfire begins and I won’t bore you with the various drama that takes place as the cheftestants work furiously to (1) prep the seafood as quickly as possible, and (2) avoid severing fingers in the process.

After the lobster round, Blue is solidly in the lead, led by Mei Lin, with Red and Green close behind, and Yellow in last. They’re onto oysters and Doug comments that because of his short stature, he has to be like “Napoleon in the kitchen.” Given the pejorative comparisons that Napoleon typically draws, and given his epic failure in Russia, I’m wondering if Doug might want to rethink his comparison.

Oysters are done and Green has jumped Red, with Blue still in the lead and Yellow still lagging. Ron on the Yellow team blazes through his mackerel and rockets his team into second place.

It’s onto clams... and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, we’re witnessing one of the most bizarre sights in recent Top Chef memory. Armed with a huge lead, Katsuji realizes to his horror that he does not know how to open clams. He appears to hold each clam in a kitchen towel and slam it over and over again on the table. BANG BANG BANG. It’s both comical and riveting. His entire team watches in shock. Mei Lin is dumbfounded. BANG BANG BANG. No one can believe what they’re seeing.

Green just barely edges out Yellow for the win. They both celebrate. BANG BANG BANG. Katsuji continues his work. Red is smelling blood in the water, but unfortunately, George’s prediction is proving prescient. He is not good at opening clams. BANG BANG BANG. But neither is Katsuji.

By some miracle, Katsuji finishes his clams and his team is safe. He breathes a sigh of relief but should be able to feel the target that’s now been placed on his back. George finishes up his clams, knowing that the slowest person on his team will be up for elimination.

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