This Weekend, Watch This: A comparison for the new movie releases for October 10-12, 2014

This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison for the new releases for October 10-12, 2014

By Curt David

October 10, 2014

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some movies sound awesome (Tarzan and the Lost City), but then do not do too well commercially. Other movies star your celebrity crush (Paula Patton in Baggage Claim), but then do not get much love critically. Still other movies are recommended by friends (but friends can be idiots). And if you are like 23%* of people, you are not even aware of which movies are being released, yet alone which movies you should pay your hard earned money on.

I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the weekend of October 10th, the new movies in wide release are The Judge, Dracula Untold, and Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

	The Judge	Dracula Untold	Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day	WINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest Title	A movie about a judge.	A movie about Dracula, but maybe not really, or untold, or something	An awesome children’s book!	Alexander wins the first point.
Best Genre and Rating	Drama Rated R for language including some sexual references	Action Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of warfare, vampire attacks, disturbing images, and some sensuality	Comedy Rated PG for rude humor including some reckless behavior and language	Nice mix of genres- 1/3 point each.
Cleverest Tagline (out of 5 stars)	Judge gets arrested Lawyer son represents him What will happen next?	Guy’s son in danger So he becomes Dracula To kill evil men	There’s a family They have the worst day ever Comedy ensues	I guess the best plot is the vampire plot. Point.
Best Part of Trailer	PROS: All-star cast! Super important looking story! CONS: I just didn’t care after I watched the trailer about the movie, like it was supposed to be epic, but it looked boring and the plot was confusing.	PROS: An origin story about Dracula. Lots of action. CONS: Dracula has crazy powers. I wasn’t too enthralled with this trailer either.	PROS: Goofy movie with lovable cast, kids will like it. CONS: I had a feeling it’ll be a bad movie, yet the trailer made me actually laugh.	Gosh, maybe it’s something I ate earlier, but these trailers weren’t doing it for me this week. 1/3 point each.
Coolest Lead Actor	Robert Downey Jr. from The Avengers and Sherlock Holmes.	Luke Evans from Clash of the Titans and Immortals.	Steve Carell from The Office and Crazy, Stupid, Love.	Rob and Steve split the point this week.
Best Cast	Robert Duvall (The Godfather), Vera Farmiga (Up in the Air), Billy Bob Thornton (Sling Blade), and Leighton Meester (Gossip Girl)	Dominic Cooper (Captain America: The First Avenger)	Jennifer Garner from Alias and 13 Going on 30.	The Judge has the best cast for sure. Point.
Best Street Cred For the Production	Writer and Director David Dobkin also directed Wedding Crashers and Fred Claus.	Director Gary Shore is directing his first movie.	Director Miguel Arteta also directed The Good Girl and a ton of TV shows.	And The Judge has the most experienced director. Point.

So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, The Judge scores 2 and 5/6 points (and a gold star), Dracula Untold scores 1 and 5/6 points, and Alexander scores 1 and 2/3 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you want to laugh and are a boy, feel free to watch Alexander. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, The Judge is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. The Judge’s “Defend your honor” definitely wins (both a saying and a name for a judge). Dracula’s “Every bloodline has a beginning,” and Alexander’s “One day can change everything,” do not.
Conclusion 3: Six weeks until the next Hunger Games movie! I’m saving my movie money until then.

*Statistic is completely made up.

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