Last Weekend, Watch This

A comparison for the new releases for September 12-14, 2014

By Curt David

September 15, 2014

Blackfish? No, I haven't seen it. Why?

New at BOP:
Share & Save
Digg Button  
Print this column
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some movies sound awesome (Howard the Duck), but then do not do too well commercially. Other movies star your celebrity crush (Diane Lane in Jumper), but then do not get much love critically. Still other movies are recommended by friends (but friends can be idiots). And if you are like 57%* of people, you are not even aware of which movies are being released, yet alone which movies you should pay your hard earned money on.

I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the weekend of September 12th, which just happened, the new movies in wide release were No Good Deed and Dolphin Tale 2 (and The Drop was released in some theaters too). If you haven’t chosen which one to see yet, read on and find out which one wins this week’s column.







No Good Deed Dolphin Tale 2WINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleThis movie can’t be positiveThis one most definitely will beDolphin Tale wins the first point.
Best Genre
and Rating
Thriller
Rated PG-13 for sequences of violence, menace, terror, and for language
Family
Rated PG for some mild thematic elements
Each movie wins a half point.
Best Plot
(in haiku form)
Guy escapes from jail
Then breaks into woman’s house
He’s up to no good
Dolphin has fake tail
But needs dolphin friend to live
They need to find one!
I’m not sure I like either plot. Another half point each.
Best TrailerPROS: This may not be a pro, but it’s really disturbing, which I guess is the point
CONS: Perhaps none if this is your type of movie
PROS: Very family-friendly movie, perfect if you enjoyed the first movie
CONS: Perhaps none if you are 6-years-old
No Good Deed has a better trailer (and this is from a guy who usually loves inspirational trailers). Point.
Coolest Lead ActorTaraji P. Hensen from The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Think Like A Man. Ashley Judd from Divergent and Double Jeopardy. These ladies will split the point. The column is still tied.
Best CastIdris Elba (Prometheus) Morgan Freeman (Shawshank Redemption), Harry Connick Jr. (Hope Floats), and Bethany Hamilton. Dolphin Tale 2 wins this point.
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Director Sam Miller also directed TV shows and TV movies. Writer and Director Charles Martin Smith also directed Air Bud and Dolphin Tale. And Dolphin Tale 2 wins this point as well!




So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Dolphin Tale 2 scores 4 and 1/2 points and No Good Deed scores 2 and 1/2 points and a gold star.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you were thinking about wanting to watch No Good Deeds, then I guarantee you probably don’t want to watch Dolphin Tale 2. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Dolphin Tale 2 is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. This week was close, but No Good Deed’s “First he gets into your house. Then he gets into your head,” beats Dolphin Tale 2’s “Winter’s amazing true story... now has HOPE.”
Conclusion 3: Ten weeks until the next Hunger Games movie!

*Statistic is completely made up.




Advertisement




     


 
 

Need to contact us? E-mail a Box Office Prophet.
Thursday, March 28, 2024
© 2024 Box Office Prophets, a division of One Of Us, Inc.