| And So It Goes
| Hercules | Lucy | WINNER
(1 point per category) |
Clearest Title | Sounds like Something’s Gotta Give or As Good as it Gets | Sounds like a Hercules movie | Who’s Lucy? | Hercules gets the first point. |
Best Genre and Rating | Comedy
Rated PG-13 for some sexual references and drug elements | Fantasy Action
Rated PG-13 for epic battle sequences, violence, suggestive comments, brief strong language and partial nudity | Sci-Fi Action
Rated R for strong violence, disturbing images, and sexuality | Two action films and two PG-13 films. Meh. 1/3 point each. |
Best Plot (in haiku form) | Meanest guy ever
Has to watch his granddaughter
And go on a date
| The son of a god
Has to protect the people
By fighting monsters | Girl gets on some drugs
Can use all her brain power
Can do crazy sh*t | Hercules and Lucy seem to have more interesting plots. 1/2 point each. |
Best Trailer | PROS: Two of the best actors ever
CONS: I didn’t laugh at all | PROS: Lots of intense action
CONS: Perhaps none if you want to watch Hercules give The People’s Elbow to a hydra | PROS: The premise is good, and Scarlett looks good in an action movie
CONS: Can’t tell yet | Also, Hercules and Lucy seem to have better trailers. 1/2 point each. |
Coolest Lead Actor | Michael Douglas from Basic Instinct, Fatal Attraction, and The American President | Dwayne Johnson from G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Fast & Furious 6, and the WWE. | Scarlett Johansson from The Avengers, The Prestige, and Lost in Translation. | Solid actors all around. 1/3 point each. |
Best Cast | Diane Keaton from the Godfather trilogy. | Joseph Fiennes from Shakespeare in Love. | Morgan Freeman from The Shawshank Redemption. | Diane Keaton automatically wins anything. Point. |
Best Street Cred For the Production | Director Rob Reiner also directed The Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally, and The American President. | Director Brett Ratner also directed the Rush Hour trilogy and X-Men: The Last Stand. | Writer and Director Luc Besson also wrote and directed The Fifth Element and wrote Taken. | Impressive directors. 1/3 point each. |