This Weekend, Watch This: A comparison for the new releases for June 6-8, 2014

This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison for the new releases for June 6-8, 2014

By Curt David

June 6, 2014

I can't wait to start counting all our money!

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some movies sound awesome (Miss Congeniality 2), but then do not do too well commercially. Other movies star your celebrity crush (Mila Kunis in Max Payne), but then do not get much love critically. Still other movies are recommended by friends (but friends can be idiots). And if you are like 7%* of people, you are not even aware of which movies are being released, yet alone which movies you should pay your hard earned money on.

I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the weekend of June 6th, the new movies in wide release are Edge of Tomorrow and The Fault in Our Stars (Chef is also being released into some theaters).

	Edge of Tomorrow	The Fault in Our Stars	WINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest Title	Sounds science-fiction-y.	Based on a popular book.	The Fault in Our Stars wins this one.
Best Genre and Rating	Action, Sci-Fi Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action and violence, language and brief suggestive material	Drama Romance Rated PG-13 for thematic elements, some sexuality and brief strong language	Each movie will split this point.
Best Plot (in haiku form)	Guy in robot suit Fights aliens daily. Dies. Repeats the next day.	Girl in support group Meets boy also with illness Their journey of love	A sci-fi Groundhog’s Day. I like it. Point for Edge of Tomorrow.
Best Trailer	PROS: Interesting concept, great action and visual effects CONS: Another Tom Cruise action movie? (Not necessarily bad, but getting repetitive.)	PROS: Humorous and touching love story that’s more realistic than fairy tale CONS: Perhaps none, other than the movie is directed at teenagers	Both trailers were pretty good actually. 1/2 point each.
Coolest Lead Actor	Tom Cruise from Top Gun, Mission Impossible, and Jerry Maguire.	Shailene Woodley from Divergent and The Descendants.	Tom Cruise wins this point, at least this time around.
Best Cast	Emily Blunt (The Devil Wears Prada) and Bill Paxton (Twister)	Laura Dern (Jurassic Park) and Willem Dafoe (Spider-Man)	Good casts. 1/2 point each.
Best Street Cred For the Production	Director Doug Liman also directed Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Bourne Identity.	Director Josh Boone also directed Stuck in Love.	Liman directed some good movies. Point for him.

So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Edge of Tomorrow scores 4 points (and a gold star) and The Fault in Our Stars scores 3 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you are itching for a good romantic movie, feel free to watch The Fault in Our Stars. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Edge of Tomorrow is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. Edge of Tomorrow’s “Live, Die. Repeat,” easily beats the other pseudo-tagline, “Based on the #1 Bestseller.”
Conclusion 3: Laura Dern is underrated in my opinion.

*Statistic is completely made up.

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