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Leo & Jamal: Afghanimals. Well, the wild and crazy liars by choice and convenience are back. They start off strong and confident after getting the first flight. Unfortunately, as soon as they hit the ground in China, the cousins foolishly team up with the twins, who had them wandering the bridal shops for hours letting the other flight to catch up. The good news is that the guys kept a pretty upbeat attitude during that debacle and that really got under the skin of twins. The even better news for all of us is that they won’t make that mistake again since the twins have ungracefully left last week. Unless they follow in the footsteps of Shrill Lanka, then Leo & Jamal should be sticking around.

John & Jessica: Newly engaged couple. Just when I had a moment of weakness and thought this team will have learned something from their last Race. They blended into the background for the most part, which makes for an unremarkable leg and not noteworthy at all. Then, bonehead John offers up this nugget of insight, “I’m glad we didn’t get the Express Pass, so we won’t make the same mistake.” Well, another way to avoid the same mistake is to have the Express Pass and actually use it. Then you get advantage and exhibit growth. Not wanting the Express Pass just shows you are ridiculous and don’t understand this competition very well.

Margie & Luke: Mom/Deaf Son. Don’t let the high finish on the first leg lull you into an inflated sense of aptitude. This parent/child tandem is a Luke-breakdown away from elimination at the start of every leg. See the tea fiasco from the Unfinished Business season. Then we throw in last week’s height-induced anxiety on the part of Margie, I don’t have much confidence in either of them for long-term prospects on the Race.

Mark & Mallory: New Kentucky. Bopper’s pancreas threw a wrench into Old Kentucky’s plans for another attempt at Race glory. Stepping into his shoes is the petite Kentucky pageant girl Mallory. Mallory and her dad had so much more success than Bopper & Mark, so that should work into their favor. BUT learning to work with a new team mate is likely going to work against them. Both Mark and Mallory are enthusiastic about the new pairing, although bittersweet, but if the previews are to be believed, Mallory makes a pretty gigantic mistake with the bags. I don’t think it will get them eliminated because the producers wouldn’t telegraph the ending so blatantly. But longevity? Not so much.

Jennifer & Caroline: Country singers. Hitching their horse the wrong wagon in China was big flub. I assume they were fooled by the twins’ first flight status and thought they were getting an advantage. Oops. They really misjudged that situation. It could be argued (by me, specifically) that the only reason why the ladies went as deep into their previous season was the help of the hockey brothers. With their first attempt as alliance going bust, the previews indicate that they try to charm an Express Pass from the cowboys. You know, the married cowboys. Yeah…another misjudgment.

Joey & Meghan: Team Youtube. Everything I said about this team is still accurate. Their cheerfulness is not a vital substitute for racing ability. Need proof? Well, did you watch last week? They ambled their way into second to last place because of what appeared to be a lack of interest in racing in general. They once again seemed more interested in being energetic and happy but not actually channeling it into results. The only thing that saved them from elimination is the (tw)inept leg of Natalie & Nadiya. These friends will eventually be last place and probably sooner rather than later.

Let’s dive right into the next leg and see how wrong or right these rankings might be.

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