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In nearly 13 years, The Amazing Race has given us 23 seasons of entertainment, including two All-Stars seasons and the dreadful, failed experiment known as the Family Edition. In a rather quick turnaround (the last one was only five seasons or two and half years ago), the makers decided it’s time for another All-Star iteration.

(Disclaimer: I was none too pleased with the majority of the announced teams, so my snark may be on full-tilt-boogie for the next few months.)

Based upon the way the teams performed in their previous attempts with an added dash of my feelings toward them, here is how I predict the season will turn out.

1. Flight Time & Big Easy: Globetrotters (fourth place in Season 15 & 2nd place in Season 18). Fun-loving basketball players.


2. David & Connor: Father/Son Cancer Survivors. (eighth place Season 22) – Team Murphy’s Law because whatever can go wrong seems to for them. So, I am banking it the universe finally going in their favor.


3. Leo & Jamal: Afghanimals (fourth place on season 23). Loud and conniving cousins without their Race wives distracting them.


4. Brendon & Rachel: Big Brother cast members (third place on Season 20) – Team Fetch. Nickname explanation: “Brendon & Rachel” are to “CBS” as “fetch” is to “Gretchen in the movie Mean Girls." Both are continuing to try and make them happen.


5. Jet & Cord: Cowboys (second place in Season 16 & sixth in Season 18). Coiners of the phrase “Oh my gravy” and perpetual jeans and boots wearers.


6. John & Jessica: Newly engaged couple (ninth place in Season 22) – Team Bonehead. Will they learn from their Express Pass folly of last time? I wouldn’t bet on it.
   
7. Natalie & Nadiya: Twins from Sri Lanka (fourth place in Season 21) – Shrill Lanka. Second only to Big Brother on my annoyance scale.


8. Jennifer & Caroline: Blonde country singers (fourth place in Season 22). They won’t have the hockey brothers carrying them along this time.


9. Joey & Meghan: Team Youtube (fifth place in Season 22). Shiny, happy people but still not really Race-ready, I suspect.


10. Bopper & Mark: Team Kentucky (fifth place in Season 20). Good ol’ boys epitomizing "fish out of water."


11. Margie & Luke: Mom/Deaf Son (third place in Season 14 & eighth place in Season 18). Most seniority of teams but biggest drop in performance in two previous outings.

So that’s my impression of this lineup. Maybe some of them will prove me wrong and be older and wiser or maybe just older and more cantankerous.

We kick off with an abbreviated montage of the returning teams. It is shorter than we have come to expect but maybe they are deciding to not waste our time reacquainting us with teams still fresh in our minds.

The teams join our world traveling host Phil at a stadium with the UCLA Marching Band. Speaking of universities, how long will Big Brother’s (aka Team Fetch’s) Brendon be a "doctoral candidate"? That has been his listed occupation on these shows for about 18 years. Stop whoring yourself to reality TV and finish your degree, man.

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