Monday Morning Quarterback Part I

By BOP Staff

February 4, 2014

Who's too short to be an NFL quarterback now?

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Bruce Hall: I was happy to see Kurt Russell, and then endured a game more horrific than anything I could possibly have imagined, even in the midst of a hellacious malaria induced fever-dream.

Also, the sound wasn't very good where I was, so I SAW a lot of commercials but I couldn't hear much. Keep this in mind as I ramble. My mind was literally seared black for a time by the unprecedented psychological violation that was the Broncos' play tonight.

I suppose I liked the Radio Shack commercial a lot, because with the game going the way it was, a heaping helping of nostalgia totally hit the spot.

I am fairly sure I saw a Transformers commercial where a robot's face literally turned into a gun. Thank God it's PG-13.

I saw my first Maserati ad. I didn't know Maserati ads were even a thing.

I liked that there was a Seinfeld related ad. I don't remember what it was pushing - some kind of web series? And I couldn't hear what was being said, but it sure LOOKED funny.

I don't even know why Budweiser bothers advertising any more. People will still be drinking the stuff the day the sun explodes if they never spend another dime on ads again. That said, when you're as ubiquitous a product as they are, a commercial that more or less says FLAG FLAG TROOPS FLAG TROOPS AMERICA FLAG actually does feel cynical and cloying, at least to me. Four million dollars a minute and you go for the low hanging fruit? Nice try, Budweiser.




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The Jack Bauer ad was interesting. I too thought it was a new Call of Duty spot, and when I saw the Keifster I was more or less sold. I have no idea what the project is going to be about, but London exploding Jack Bauer scream pretty girl shoot shoot kapow....so I guess I can't wait.

British Supervillains, check. That should be a movie. Kurt Russell should be in it, as well. I wish to donate any future royalty checks directly to BOP, because I am a team player.

Need for Speed did what it was supposed to do, but when you're based on a video game series known for stupid stories and you're an obvious knockoff of an already uniquely successful franchise, there's really nowhere to go but up. So, cheers.

So....that last movie didn't rape the franchise enough; we also needed Mr Spock to pitch for Xfinity? TWICE?!? Shame on you, Legion of Suits Who Now Control Star Trek. From hell's heart I stabbeth thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.

Bruno Mars is obviously a very talented person, but he's not really for me. The Chili Peppers, however, are awesome. Unfortunately, random pop stars cranking out lukewarm Super Bowl halftime medleys at 130 percent speed feels like just another dispassionate, morbidly efficient creation of the soulless, unabashedly corporate affair that is today's NFL.

Now, I'm going to wander into the cold, unforgiving Mile High Night and walk until I can walk no more. Tell the world my story, and don't try to follow me.


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